Friday, August 11, 2017

Looking for new friends on an APP?

So I tried the "Bumble BFF" app and a few people that I chose, chose me over the period of several days it was only 2 people. And I started an awkward conversation to them only to get silence so I deleted the freakin app.

But today I had a very nice morning meeting with a new friend who I have a lot in common with but I'm just finding out that she is a Republican by looking at her twitter? How come everyone I meet is a republican but I'm a hard core liberal? Is it what we resist persists?

I just want to make friends with people who put human rights over money.  Is that so freakin hard? Apparently so.

And I really like her.

Look at this - OMG so I'm looking for another app and right in it the app, the makers are all in love with Trump OMG - so annoying. But the app looks cool let's see if it works for me, being that it appears biased republican.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Work smarter not harder! This is about juggling tasks, tracking time, writing your business plan, Amazon Book Marketing, andVideo Marketing

I've been wanting to write a blog about all these free and low-cost tools I've found to increase my productivity but haven't had time so I just typed out this email to a friend/colleague and decided to post this instead. If you are interested in any of these items you'll have to research them yourself but these items have made a huge difference in my life in the past month.

"Dear friend:

Thanks. Yes.  I really enjoyed our lunch or first visit, and we should totally do that again when you have free time.  I've always wanted to focus on my docu-series but I couldn't figure out how to get it to pay for itself. I started working with Liz back in 2014. I was even accepted into the long term  Portland State Business Development program a few months later but then I was just too ill to accept it.  Now for about a year, I'm better.  I started meeting with her again last fall when I had the Portland Video Memoir idea  in addition to my other 2 or 3 things. I was selling stock video footage, freelance film work, and Consciousness Continues and then Portland Video Memoir but everything was all concept and very little income except for friends I networked with who hired me. She helped me connect to all these different programs and classes. She got me signed up for these 2 (1 day) classes PCC (value of like $385). It was how to do a marketing plan and then online marketing. And then as time went by I knew in my heart I just wanted to work on Consciousness Continues but I was trying to figure out a way to fund it.  

I started my business plan about a month ago. I tried all these different resources that just did not fit with my brain. I tried the score free template, live plan, and then finally enloop. I love enloop. It automatically fills in portions of your business plan and updates automatically when you change figures.  It is 19.99/mo but I think it is worth it.  I got my money back from liveplan it was just like the fillable word docs to me. 

So Here I was doing the enloop plan and I was working on my marketing plan and thinking about how I didn't want to do Portland Video Memoir because it is all sales and no time for work.  And I looked up information about how to make money with my book. I had made about $400 without doing much advertising. And then I saw this post on Amazon forums about advertising. I saw one guy say that another successful writer and marketer says to advertise even if your cost of advertising is up to 100% of your sales because the Cost of advertising to sales figure shown only counts for copies sold and not kindle pages.  

Then I got thinking that I had already made a few hundred dollars from my short film with zero advertising. What would happen if I advertised? So then I researched what is the best way to advertise tv shows and found that pre-roll ads on youtube are inexpensive and very effective. I also did an Amazon Kindle Marketing ad that says "If you love the short film and docu-series, you are going to love the book" Funny thing is it hasn't sold many books but my viewership on the short film and episode 1 has tripled in just a few days.  So I did a marketing projection and I think if I continue putting out episodes every few months, and increase my advertising budget. Plus the $4000 from my IDA (this is a matched savings program in oregon) towards those expenses. I can actually create perpetual income for the future. I'm very excited. 

I also came across 2 other really useful tools in the past few weeks. Working at home has been hard to stay focused during summer time because my children are very distracting and I have several household tasks that have to be kept up on.  So I found this desktop app, it's a beta but it's called skedpal, it's free but has a learning curve with it that took me a few days.  What is really cool about this app is that it connects to your Google calendar and then you fill in tasks and prioritize them in skedpal and it fills in your time with projects budgeting what you should do when. When you miss something it automatically updates to what your current priorities are but only projects out 4 weeks because it is alive and changes as time goes to what your needs are. 

On top of that I started using this other program called toggl. Toggl tracks your time. So you fill in what you are working on and it is easy to use. You put who the client is as it tracks what you do. So then at the end of the week you can see what you are really spending your time on.  I find it very satisfying. Though it is really meant for desktop type stuff but I'm sure there is an app to use for non desktop stuff. 

In the past few weeks, I've increased my productivity a ton.  But Enloop business plan online program really helped kick start it. along with the skedpal.   

I love your suggestions too. I love sharing information and always enjoy your emails. 

Talk to you soon, let me know if you have time to plan a lunch or visit sometime. "

That's it. I know it's weird to read a random email but I don't have time to make an actual blog post. 

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Can you find a friend with an app? I'm going to try Bumble BFF

I was looking online the other day to find if there was an app for finding new friends. Since I wrote my wah wah post the other day listing how I have lost basically all my friends. I have tons of acquaintances but when working from home I just don't keep up friendships unless it's a really good friend.  And those friends just haven't worked out.

So I download the Bumble BFF app on my phone and filled in on all my deal breaker issues and benefits (that I'm an artist and I like deep conversations). Then I swiped my way through the list of women only looking for a Friend.  If there was no description I swiped left (which means no) because I can't pick a friend based on looks and if they had a description that seemed similar or atleast open minded I swiped right. I probably swiped right on about 20 people. and now 3 days later I hear nothing back. It could be because the free version you aren't notified if someone swiped you, you just have to happen to swipe right too. This is my first experience with this type of app. I missed the whole Tinder thing.  But we will see. I'll post when something happens.

Here's a link about the app - 

Sunday, July 30, 2017

My experience with a Naturopath. A year of feeling mostly better, but still a struggle.

Well I did get much much better after August 24, 2016 see this post where I honestly felt cured: .

Treating Vitamin D deficiency really helped, in fact, I'm still taking Vitamin D 3000mg per day.

By January 2017 I started to feel a little sick and fatigued again.

By March the random fatigue was getting stronger and I had been taking Metformin for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I had read that you can often have a Vitamin B12 deficiency with Metformin.  So I asked my endocrinologist and she said that only happens with years of taking Metformin. Before I got to that point I went to my primary internal medicine doctor and he said I wasn't getting more sick again, I was at my baseline. Boy that made me so mad. He was saying that I had been in remission during the time I felt better. Jerk.  But to humor me he got my Vitamin B12 level checked.  My Vitamin B12 levels ended up being just barely over the normal line. And my research found that many allopathic doctors go by a level of Vitamin B12 that is much lower than what your body really needs. I started taking Vitamin B12 in liquid form and felt better.

Because he is such an asshole I also made an appointment to see a naturopath doctor that was recommended to me.  But by the time I went to see her I was feeling fantastic again because I started on B12. Who knew B12 and Vitamin D were lifesavers? I think I had read here and there that B12 and D were important but I just never got the point that they are essential.

So I finally go to see the Naturopath a few months later and she started adding a bunch of supplements and saying I needed to get off my other medications yet at the same time she gave me like 10 new supplements. She was convinced I needed to get off my thyroid meds. Which I DID NOT DO. I'm not insane, jeez, I only have half a thyroid that stopped working in my 20's anyway.

After seeing her for about 4 weeks I started feeling sick again. I went into it trusting her but she ended up losing my confidence about 8 weeks in because it really felt like she just wanted me to buy supplements from her. She even told me I didn't need to take Vitamin D or Vitamin B12, based on her hunch, no blood tests, only her nutritional response testing which is pretty kooky and not scientific at all. She says it is elegant. WTF?

The initial estimate she gave me for treatment was that I would be paying $50 every 2 weeks, but she didn't include that at first she wanted me to come every week for about 6 weeks. Each week she wanted me to buy between $50 and $100 worth of vitamins. My credit card shot up maybe $600 or more. As she added more and more stuff I started feeling worse and until one day I just threw up. I had been trying to trust her advice but then when I spontaneously threw up I stopped trusting her.   Never in my life through 3 pregnancies have I ever had a weak stomach. With everything she was giving me I just started puking one day.  Her explanation was that my gallbladder was overwhelmed and cut my dosages in half. It did feel better again but I finally told her I couldn't see her anymore. I did continue taking a couple supplements she prescribed until they ran out, but not all of them.

After I stopped seeing her about 4 or 5 weeks ago I was doing fantastic. I started taking Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar everyday along with Vitmin B12, Vitamin D, Magnesium, probiotic, and the papaya enzymes. Plus my prescriptions - 4 things, Levothyroxine - thyroid, Aspirin to prevent stroke, and 2 blood pressure meds - Losartan and Spirolactone.

Then 2 days ago the merry go round started again high blood pressure, fatigue, everything all messed up again. It could be as simple of a cold virus but who knows.

Sometimes I lose hope that I can ever live a normal life again, of being a successful filmmaker.  I know that sounds melodramatic but this has  been going on for so long it started 2007.  As soon as I think I'm normal and capable again something hits me, and I'm bed ridden or feel like it takes too much energy to lift my arms and walk.

I hope maybe my journey can help you if you are having CFS too.

Episode 1 of my series is out on Amazon

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Sex, Religion and Politics - is it a deal breaker for friendships? It seems like it ends up that way even if you don't want it to.

I started this blog because I wanted to vent. It was 2008 and we lived in Mexico. I felt like I didn't have anyone to talk to and so I just started writing about everything that was in my heart and on my mind.  But what happened was I became aware that local people I worked with read what I was writing. Blogs were very popular at the time. I wrote about some of the people I was working with and later was pretty sure I heard people discussing what I had written. So I toned down the truth a bit.

In the beginning I thought that since I was way down in Mexico and my other life I had before was up here in Portland, Oregon that no one would have any idea what I was talking about.  My entire life I'd wanted to write. To pour out what was in my heart. But when I realized local people would be reading it I curbed it a bit. Then later when I was practicing law of attraction, which I still ascribe to in most senses, I realized that writing my worries and upsets just gave more strength to the problem. So I took my everyday life out of it even farther.
opinions of  sex, religion, and politics in friendship a deal breaker?
says a slave owner who raped his slaves and put his own children into slavery.

Now days I only spend time with my immediate family. Being that I am an artist/filmmaker I don't have co workers or even many clients. For years I have/had a best friend but my dear friend L and I just don't see eye to eye on some big issues. These issues may be deal breakers because we both mutually stopped contacting each other.

We love to share and talk, we usually have a great time together, but our family values are a little different.  I believe that my children should be exposed to certain things that are part of society so that once they are older they don't go off the deep end.  I'm not referring to drug use or anything like that but more like education, public schools, media, etc. I've never let my children play violent games but I do let them watch movies and listen to songs that have bad words and even worse scenarios, yet at the same time, I still shield them from some of the major catastrophes of the world.

She is sort of the exact opposite, she doesn't want her kids to see anything that has to do with normal sexuality but is constantly talking about the worst crisis of the world in other parts of the world and showing them the gore that is going on.

For me, with media and my kids, if things get too dirty I still send my 11-year-old out of the room. For my 14-year-old on the other hand, I just let it slide. Especially after the fact that she has gotten into too much adult type stuff, that I shockingly found out about when she was younger and I'm not going to pretend she doesn't know about it. So I gave up that battle. I still do battle with her about staying away from people who are already on a  bad path early in life. Plus she is a straight A student and at some point you have to give them some respect for that accomplishment. But of course not total freedom.

My friend L believes she should control all media that her children are exposed to.  She talks a lot about the end of the world and demons and awful fears she has and she has some pretty strange ideas about god and how god is in our lives. She believes that many good things in life are the devil trying to trick you. I don't get it and don't want to, because I believe there is no reason to complicate life so much. In my view good is good and bad is bad.

The last thing we differ on are our political views. She is buying into all the right wing media, fake news about Progressive and liberal people. And I'm a liberal. It is weird because she is a smart person, but somehow she believes that what they are saying is not a theater show propaganda but is real news.  When Obama was in office she was all into all the conspiracy theories about him being gay or sharia law or what ever. She is/was addicted to news about isis and basically spending all her time preoccupied with on all types of really depressing stuff that I just didn't have time or energy to worry about.

She actually once said to me that she couldn't believe I was a liberal because I'm a good person. Implying that liberal people are bad people. Way to brush stroke over a huge population of people. But on the other hand, I think Alt Right Trump supporters are idiots and stupid so I guess I'm judgemental as well. But I'm still confused where she got that idea about Liberals being bad people. Which is basically the opposite of why liberals are liberal. Liberals are people who want to help all people and declare that we all have equal rights. But for some reason she believes this sales pitch that the right wing is saying that liberals are not Christians and what ever ignorant hype that goes with it. I mean liberals may be less religiously Christian, but they are more behaved like the principles of Christ than the MAGA people who want to judge and categorize everyone and are chanting hateful stuff and assaulting people. L and I have tried to talk through it and it just doesn't go anywhere but a circle.

I love her very much and if it wasn't for our views on sex, religion, and politics then we would be inseparable. The problem is those are my favorite topics.  I love talking about sex, my spirituality, and sometimes politics.


I met another friend, January-ish. I thought things were going pretty well, but I started to notice that I was being a friend to her for the wrong reasons. Not the wrong reasons for her but the wrong reasons for me. I was only trying to be friends with her because she was basically homeless and suicidal and in a crisis point of her life and she had a bad habit of alienating everyone in her life.  Her son was being a little shit to mine and she thinks he is an innocent angel. Every time there were no adults around, her son would insult my son's intelligence. I witnessed it more than once when he didn't know I was there. My daughter also witnessed it when she was babysitting this kid. When it happened my son would get mad and explode and then she would be upset at my son hearing about how he was mad and didn't want to play with her son. Snarky remarks get to him. That is understandable to me because I only like to be around nice people as well. This explains why I am isolated :).

This friend was basically homeless and I asked my son to be nice regardless and to try to have compassion for her son since his life was so uprooted. Ultimately it became almost cruel to ask my son to continue to do that when her son was always so rude. The truth is she was very rude to me as well.  Eventually, she completely alienated me. For the past 2 weeks I haven't felt guilty about not keeping in touch with her. She seems to have gotten her life back on track and the last time I saw her she was a complete bitch to me. Before that happened she basically eluded that she is drawn to right wing principles and possibly something white supremacist because she actually said something about her son drawing a swastika and "free speech" which was all the rhetoric at the time for the alt-right. Last time I saw her she said that she hated mexicans, "but not your family." she said. 


Before that, I lost one of my oldest friends It was approximately 1 year ago and I said that anyone who supports Trump is a racist. I had personally witnessed my friend being racist for years and years. She was always asking weird questions to me over and over about my husband saying that he doesn't pay taxes etc. Whatever - compeltely not true. Then she would be scared if she even saw a black person. I love diversity. So I said that after she was supporting Trump and saying how she HATED OBAMA to me so many times. She said, "I can't be friends with someone who thinks I'm racist." And proceeded to completely block me from her facebook. All I said was that Trump supporters are racist. I didn't say I didn't want to ever be friends, though I was seeing that we were not matching up.


This blog has changed its focus. Originally it was about my interpersonal issues, then it was about moving to Mexico and the struggles and differences. Then at one point it was about my spiritual journey. And more recently it was about recovering from chronic fatigue. Now I want to bring it full circle and just go back to my interpersonal journey.  I say that because I feel lonely. I need someone to talk to even if it is only this blank blog page. I've lost my journaling through this process and I'd like to bring it back. 

Plus since I was a child I wanted to write and sometimes that is all I have energy for. 

That's all for now.