Tuesday, November 18, 2014

How to get through the holidays with family that you don't really want to be around. Auto Writing Post 6

What have I been up to? I've been working on transcribing the footage from all the interviews. I have this program that basically transcribes it for you but it messes up just enough to make it a ton of work re-editing it. However it does help in organizing the footage itself.

This week I have a meeting with my publisher, my friend Tooke to get going on making some changes to her feature film, and with the lovely Sondra who I interviewed exactly 2 years ago. Plus more doctor appointments for me and the kids.

I have a feeling of dread for the holidays. I'm still working through these feelings of people issues. Lately, to be honest, I have not really been enjoying any time we spend with my husband's family. When the kids were little getting all the nieces and nephews together to visit was great. But now that the kids are getting bigger and we realize that all the parenting styles are so very different I don't want my kids learning bad habits from their cousins. Not only that but when I am with Enrique's family as a group, I feel more alone than being alone. I just can't seem to connect to them anymore.  I'm tired of trying to force something that doesn't happen naturally.

I care deeply for his brothers and sisters, and I do like one of my non related brother in laws. But everyone else that is only related by marriage, I just can't seem to want to be around them anymore.

I'm going to ask what the other side thinks about this.

Q. Dear God, I don't really want to be around my husband's family anymore, and I know that to make my husband happy I should want to be around his family but I just don't feel like it.  Please give me some advice about this.

A. In the thinking of formality and how to treasure your family, you are not talking directly about connections. You are referring to obligation. You are referring to the feeling of arbitrary relationships. They are meant to be in your life for a purpose but you must find the purpose on an individual basis, you cannot lump all the people into one group. We as souls belong together. But as a family you cannot address the people as a whole you must connect individually to determine how you can be of service. 

Friday, November 14, 2014

Getaway last weekend at the film fest.

My dear friend and colleague PR Tooke invited me to go to the Eugene Film Festival with her last weekend for the screening of her film "Thru TheWoods", as her friend and Marketing Director/Graphic Arts person.

Here is a version of the Poster that I designed for her.When she had told me about it,
This is the version I like, it is not the official version. 
I had somehow mis-understood how long the trip was planned for, thinking it would be from Thursday to Saturday morning.  She asked me about a month ago and this whole time I planned to be gone for 2 nights and then come back.

On the Friday morning,  while we were at breakfast I casually asked "So what time are we headed back tomorrow?" She answered that we weren't going back till Sunday night or possibly Monday morning. Wow what a dork I am. I had made plans for Sunday morning, and even Monday morning.

We were having a great time and my husband even said that if I was having a nice time to just stay. But after a 2nd night of not sleeping well I decided I think it would be better for me to stick to my original plan of going back Saturday. So I took the Bolt bus back to Portland.

Have you heard of the $1 bus tickets? Bolt Bus is a bus that seems nicer than greyhound, and you can get tickets for as low as $1.  I paid $14 for my ticket to go from Eugene to Portland,  but evidently each bus trip has at least 1, $1 fare on it, here is  blog post from someone describing how to get the elusive $1. fare. http://www.wanderu.com/bus-travel-review/boltbus-coupon-promo-code/

I had a great 2 hour bus ride, except that some messed up persons gas permeated the bus.  Wow.  Unbelievable.

Oh well, the trip as a whole was very fun. We went to screenings, breakfasts, dinner, shopping and even a historic house. We've had  nonstop interesting and  philosophical conversations, and talked about our life stories.  The day I left,  I even went and got my hair done at the JC Penney. It was a lovely time.

That's all for now.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Wild Teenage Years, and a very specific date from my Auto-Writing Post 5

Yesterday Junie and I went downtown to OHSU to participate in a paid study about ADHD. No medications are involved and June doesn't even have ADD or ADHD but because we both got to earn money for answering some questions, and her playing some games, we decided to do it. I do have very strong opinions about ADHD and I'm hoping that a solution without medication can be found for future children.
These photos are from http://www.gobytram.com/ 
On the long winding drive up there June was enjoying having mommy to herself.  I told her if we are selected to continue the study for the other 2 sessions we should take the tram. Doesn't that look like fun?

These photos are from http://www.gobytram.com/ 
After the 9000 questions he asked me about June's behaviors and if she has ever exhibited certain traits, he moved on to ask me questions about my history as a teen and child.

That brought back some things I haven't thought about in a long time. My teen years are so far behind me and are such a stark contrast to who I am now.

I've written about my wild teen years on this blog before.  To re-cap, I was a wild teen. My Mother was in and out of our house since I was 2, because of her mental illness. When I was about 10 she was gone for good. At that point my dad was a single Father with  2 kids and 2 businesses.  As long as I went to school and did all the grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, and some of the cleaning,  he didn't worry too much about what I was doing afterward. And that is when I was a wild child. I was having sex at an early age, drinking, trying drugs, I was completely backwards from the average person. From 13-18 I was very wild and then at 18 I calmed down and stayed calm until about 27 when my Dad was dying of cancer and I was getting a divorce. Then I was  wild again for 2 years and then back to Friday night at Home Depot.

I don't regret any of the things I've been through because those experiences have brought me to where I am today. But answering those questions made it very clear who I was then. And it made me wonder how much am I still like that now? I was a  rebel, who fought authority, questioned authority, did not trust authority. I had big dreams, no mentor but big dreams.

So back to yesterday, after he would ask me if I drank, or did anything illegal between the ages of 12 & 17,  I would answer, and then he would ask me if those activities inhibited my day to day functions in any way. That was pretty difficult for me to answer. I mean how many 12 year-old's do all the grocery shopping, laundry and cooking for their family now days?

Once he established that I got out of that life, he asked me if I went through any counselling programs, went to jail, or any program that helped me get out of that type of life.

Interestingly enough I did not. I  just evolved. I was never addicted to anything and behavior wise my best friend and I did some pretty bad stuff. At 13 and 14 my friend and I started garbage cans on fire, and even burned a bunch of toilet paper in the concrete bathrooms at the local park. We also did some spray painting, at one point our spray painting of FTW, which was "Fuck the World", made the news that  gangs  were moving into Southeast Portland . But no, it was just me and my friend being wild. But I moved away and grew up.

I answered everything completely truthful, that is how I am.  But it was very strange thinking of my life back then.  I have first hand experience about what it is like to get into trouble at a young age, and that is why I watch my daughter very closely. No one was watching me and no one was watching my best friend when we were running wild in Portland. Parents, stay involved with your teens if you  can.


Today I am going to ask a question about whether Discovery is actually going to do anything with my tv show. This  should be interesting.

Q. Dear God I am wondering if Discovery is going to go forward with my project and if so when?

A. it is said that the show will air on November 14th, 2016 it will be made from a combination of your efforts and the efforts of a studio named black media aspires. 


That blew my mind, I tried to get clarification but it just got crazier so I decided to leave it with this. There you have it. I've seen lots of predictions come true but I have never made it public, until now so lets see if this happens or not. It is amazing that I got such a specific answer. We'll see.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Fear of making new friends - Auto-writing Post 4

The first part was written 10/30/2014

Between last night and today I have gotten so much done. I'm updating my portfolio online - heatherdominguez.com, and today I went on a field trip with my son.  It was pretty fun we went to the Oregon Children's Theater and we got to see a free play, Ivy and Bean

On the field trip today,  I still am having my problem with connecting with new people. I know  many people say my problem isn't a problem at all, because I do connect to people all the time. But I'm one of those people who develops meaningful relationships with a few friends but doesn't make friends easily.

My best friend is able to connect with almost every person she comes across. It makes me feel like I have so much room for improvement.  

Some people say that I don't have an issue at all, different people have different strengths, and that is why I should find people to fill in where I have gaps. That is what I  did when we went to Film-Com, Laura and I flew to Nashville for the Film, Financing and Distribution event in June of this year. Laura was my Public Relations person who stood next to me and smiled and engaged people who were walking by. Sometimes I am able to do that, but I can't turn it on and off when I want. I often feel awkward and distrustful of strangers, I guess my deeper fear is that people will hurt me and I truly need to get past that.  So that is what I am going to ask about today.

2nd part written 11/3/2014

Q. Dear God I am trying the affirmation about kindness from a few days ago,  but I'm still not able to feel comfortable with new people.  Please tell me a way to deal with this issue that I am having.

A. In gratitude we stand, in gratitude we operate. If you become grateful with all the new people who have become your friends your anxiety will ease.  You will realize all relationships start by being new. Take for example the woman with whom you met on Wednesday, she is relatively new to you.  You were able to open your energy to her and to be excited about what is to come. Take that idea in your mind and cultivate it.  Stand with the energy you shared and empathize with all people who you cannot connect. You may be projecting your fears onto them but it is time to come to a realization it all originates in your mind. You are the successor of your fears.


Reading this wondering what that means - It feels profound - "you are the successor of your fears"  I searched successor trying to get clarification.  http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/successor

I guess it means I own my fears. Maybe it means I make my own fears I brought them on myself.

If you have a question you'd like me to answer with my auto-writing please either comment with it or email me at puertovallartagirl@gmail.com


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Guilt and Forgiveness Do not coincide well - Auto-Writing Post 3

Wow, the message from yesterday said "Tomorrow is a day of fortune for you"  Omg it really was. We had a fantastic lunch meeting.

I prepared my most recent TV show proposal and brought it.  Jenefer showed up and we just talked high energy and non stop for an hour and a half.   Jenefer wants to do a companion book to the TV show or a companion book to the documentary. She thinks I am going in the right direction and she wants to send the project over to Beyond Words Publishing, who did The Secret, and What the Bleep Do We Know. So I am starting to write a book based on the episode outline of the TV show. Then we will work together to determine the next steps. Yay.

Meanwhile she really inspired me and blew my mind. She was saying how Death is a gift in that death brings a kind of focus that is more specific.  Along the way of her spiritual learning, and in watching Abraham Hicks she has learned about and is developing this concept about how energy is neither positive or negative but that the way we receive it is either positively or negatively.  The example she framed is that when a major world issues happens, such as 9/11 people are all focused on it and it creates this energy or energy field. Like a "Rocket of Desire", as in Abraham Hicks, the energy or Rocket of Desire, can supersede all of our other intentions. Jenefer was saying that this energy is not positive nor negative it is energy and that focused energy can be harnessed for the good. I can't fully wrap my mind around it. I've asked her to develop the concept further so I can spam it. It sounds so profound and interesting.

That is my question today.

Q. Dear God please explain this concept that Jenefer described to me today,  that energy is neither positive or negative and can be harnessed.

A. To be told of this is awkward for a person who has difficulty to control their thought processes. She is correct to say that the divine is of one source and all is of the divine. To harness the streamlined consciousness is a gift few may obtain without first the understanding of guilt. Guilt is a non surplus emotion or idea that has no standing in this forum. To be guilty will prevent you from obtaining enlightenment. to harness energy that is focused starts when you can open your heart to the infinite by forgiving one another, guilt and forgiveness do not coincide well. Guilt is the act of not forgiving yourself. If one was to say that you are guilt free you must first know that you are one with god and god is already in you, you must acknowledge this by doing what your true heart desire is. To love. In order to obtain this level of enlightenment where you can harness the focused energy you speak of, you have to first start with the unfinished business of how to be divine in the first place. Divinity is of one creator, of one power, of one soul as all souls, it is said to be so. 


 Well that didn't really explain it but  it did explain how you would start in that direction.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Let go of the Unwanted - Auto-Writing Post 2

Good morning world! Today I feel great, I'm doing the affirmation from yesterday

"affirm that you are of kindness and breathing kindness, living forgiveness. forever grateful, and loving" 

I am made of Kindness, I breathe kindness, I live forgiveness, forever grateful, and loving

Today I still don't have any questions from people to ask so I'll ask my own question.

Q. What should I talk about tomorrow in my meeting with the publisher?

A. You have the answers to all your questions, follow the guidance we give. Tomorrow is a day of fortune for you. You will move beyond a block you've had. Going forward is the most trying issue you are dealing with. Take the time to see where your thoughts lead you. Determine if they are the most beneficial to your well-being. Let go of the unwanted. Trust this.

I'm feeling great and I don't have any other questions today. If anyone wants to ask a question I let me know. I'd love to see what comes through for other people.

Monday, October 27, 2014

How to get out of limbo - Auto-Writing Post 1

Today I am going to go public with my auto-writing if you want to see all my posts with auto-writing going forward, click on the label to the right that says auto-writing

My first step in Auto-writing that is most effective is to ask a question and listen for what comes back, and sometimes the message seems convoluted, but usually when I go back to read it later it makes more sense.

I'm not really sure where to start until people give me a question they want answered, so I will just make up a question. I will post the auto-writing in italics, and it will only be edited to make it understandable.

October 27, 2014 3:06 pm Pacific Time, Portland Oregon, sitting at my desk, living room.

Q. Dear God - I feel as if I am in a limbo, a little lost because I'm not sure what to do going forward for my career. Please tell me if I'm going in the right direction and what my next steps should be.

A. You write about this as if it is a question to be determined by the under mind of the whole.  But it is actually something that can originate with your being.  You need to be honest with your being about what you want. A connection to others is important, not just a message to the world. you must invest more into the connection of people than the message to them. 

Q. OK that makes complete sense but what I'd like to know is what should I do right now going forward to bring my aspiration of financial abundance, to uplift media in the world, and as a career?

A. Right this moment making your connection public is a good step, you have a kind heart but hide it under a complex system of supposed official tasks.  Your core of kindness will truly show you what you really need to do.  Make personal connections, give to others, service, and the answer to your career will come. The monetary reward you search is not possible if you do not do that. Love comes first. Not just when you have time to schedule it in. 

Q. Will I make it with my television show?

A.  You are on the brink of success, keep steadfast, make your kindness a part of who you are again, make connections and it will flow like agua from a spring to your life in unbelievable ways. Love for the centeredness of all, intention, for the love of one, the true and holy essence. It is spoken to be more like him, like Jesus, we say that you are able to do this in a way that others are not  aware. You struggle to do this every moment, every day you are met with the pain of the body, the uncomfortable cravings of the soul and body in influx. You can bring the essence to you, closer to you and you will have a joy that has only been tasted by you, but you will live it and share it and truly inspire the people you chose to inspire. This joy can translate to many but not exactly the way you are now. You must be fully true to everyone with it. You must live and acknowledge this connection and become who it is you must speak from the connection. You must not let life on this balance be what distracts you from your true kindness of one and kindness of all. It is said that is so. Affirm it. Affirm that you are of kindness and breathing kindness, living forgiveness. forever grateful, and loving. bring that energy into your life, become one with that. The essence. Let it be so. 

Q. How can I start to make these personal connections of kindness you talk about. Please Dear God please give me ideas of how to begin .

A. In the instance of connection, you must be present in the moment when another soul is by you. If a soul is by you acknowledge them, speak a word from the heart, any word, do not worry if it is the correct word, take the time to slow down and acknowledge that person or people. That is a beginning to the kindness we speak of. 

Laying it out on the line my beliefs in woo woo, Delores Cannon died, and my auto-writing.

There are woo woo things that most people don't talk about unless you are very brave (** woo woo is Kimberly Clark Sharp's term for unexplained paranormal events Kimberly Clark Sharp's book "After The Light" )  With me having done the short film Surviving Death, and trying to get the TV show Consciousness Continues put on TV,  you would be correct to think that I am into Woo Woo stuff.

But I am NOT a die hard fanatic about things such as conspiracy's, aliens, ghosts, etc.   I have some firm believes on certain things, like I KNOW there is more than what we see. I just know it.  I know the soul goes beyond the body.  I know that we have a connection that we can all access.

Another thing I am NOT is religious. I do not follow any particular religion. I do not believe that we are punished for not following a certain set of arbitrary rules.

US Bank ATM clamped down on this $20.  
I do believe that energy is  in everything, I do believe that we have a crazy amount of power within us. I know that we can change our realities with belief and feelings. My husband pretends to nod along with this but as he sometimes in the same day balks at me saying to think positive thoughts about our car, which will not pass DEQ, he will also realize that while swimming the length of the pool at the community center his thoughts cause him to panic and think that he cannot make it, therefore causing a panic.  He once broke an ATM because he was scared of it not working, since it was his first time to deposit cash without a deposit slip nor envelope. Sure enough the ATM did not work.  He is supportive but sometimes I think he fakes it and also tries to ride the line of Catholicism.

Anyway, what I am trying to bring up is Delores Cannon.  I came across the below video this year - I know that this is going to freak people out and possibly even make people think I'm a little or a lot off because this very long interview rings true to me. P.S. Delores died last week.

What I felt like when I saw this is that when the student is ready the teacher will appear.  If I would have saw this 10 years ago I probably would have dismissed it as way too far out there.

Delores is a  Regressionist and Psychic Researcher who specializes in recovery and catalog of lost knowledge. What it means is through Hypnotherapy sessions with thousands of people she has received messages that continue from one session with one person to the next. This video discusses her findings. She has dozens of books and is highly respected.

I saw in another interview that she started doing this work in the 60's even before the works of Edgar Cayce were published, he did the research decades before but it was not made public until the 70's.So anyway earlier this year I had come across that video and for some reason it rang true to me. I realize the concepts are very far out there but to me it makes sense and resonates with me as being true somehow.

So there it is,  I believe in weird stuff.

And I do automatic writing that actually has predicted many things in my life. I just had the epiphany that I will start doing auto-writing posts here so that I can document if I make a prediction or not. If you have a question I can answer through auto-writing, post it here and I will do it.  I can channel some type of higher consciousness. I've just never embraced it but I have done automatic writing since the 90's and stored it away. Some of it is saved in Mexico, some of it is on my computer, some of it is in notebooks.

That's it. This may lose some people and may bring new readers. But I'm into woo woo.

Leave a question in the comments I'll do a post about that question.

Blessings always,
PuertoVallartaGirl in Portland.

Monday, September 29, 2014

The fall

The blackberries are all dried up and the sun-dried grass was almost white.  We headed out to St. Louis ponds for the free family fishing only to find out that the event was rescheduled.  That day the car was steaming and leaking water and it got progressively worse until we realized we could not drive it anymore until we figured out if there was a hose loose or if the heater core was broken.

I've been reading "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent, Living the Art of Allowing," by Esther Hicks, (Abraham). A gift which was given to me from my very good friend P. R. Tooke, just one week ago.

Her and I are both sort of in a holding pattern.  We have our dreams and aspirations accessible and we have the skills, we even have enough of the right connections.  But we are stuck in the steps of reaching our dream either repeating old life habits, of what we thought we knew to be true or what we do to bring more money in,  out of a feeling of not having enough.

So that day with the car I had been rudely shoving the very clearly written law of attraction pointers in my husbands face. He was getting pretty irritated with me and doing a lot of nodding his head, but perhaps not really listening at all. When the kids accidentally shut the seat belt into the door and caused the door to become completely stuck. I began laughing. I am not the best at the law of attraction but I do know that some of the negative thoughts that my husband has are making him suffer and he is far more powerful than he gives himself credit for.

To sum up what I have read so far and I am only on page 87:
1)Law of attracting is actually about the vibration of feelings you have. If what you want and what you feel are different you are sending mixed messages you won't get what you want.

2) What is referred to in the book as a "Rocket of Desire", meaning a sudden burst of feelings, will often override what you original intent is and make that come true.

Enrique and I both want health, wealth, fun, laughter, abundance.  But, that dang car keeps having a lot of little problems.  Enrique wants the car to run well, and really doesn't want to work on it anymore. (We are so lucky that he has the skills and network to work on it, or we would have spent probably $10k on working on it).  But then again maybe it has so many problems because of how much he hates working on it.

I believe that because he feels so strongly about it being a pain in the booty, and he is tired of working on it he is drawing the vibration of working on it to him.  Recently, we had just spent all this time and money buying new sensors $260. in order to get the car to pass DEQ, and we were driving it  to St. Louis Ponds, he was very frustrated because we couldn't seem to get the check engine light to go off.

Then we went on that drive and the heater core blew and he must have had that thought, that toxic thought, we all know someone who does this, "What else can go wrong now?".  Guess what? That is like asking the universe for something to go wrong. Ask and you shall received, the door was stuck and I just started laughing and I asked him to please not get mad at me, but did he happen to hold the thought "What else can go wrong now?"  And he did.

The next day he got everything working, except heat, he did a work around. But it appears we will make it through DEQ.  But, we are thinking to sell the car so he can step out of this pattern that seems to be repeating itself.

About my project - Surviving Death is getting views on a constant basis, and the people give me the most wonderful comments.  I hear "Best NDE film out there."  And "Beautiful film". Stuff like that.  But the money to produce it has not come yet, and instead of being stuck in a holding pattern waiting I am going to try to get funds another way. If you want to follow other progress on the project go to our facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/consiousnesscontinues

If you haven't watched Surviving Death for awhile, take a look.


Thursday, March 13, 2014

Re-evaluating my time - from a work aholic POV - writtin March 2014

So after slightly  more than 4 years in college and being a workaholic - I have been re-evaluating my time and how I spend it.  Lately I spend time with my family in the evening and don't work at night.  I spend the weekend with my family and don't work on the weekend. The result - not enough work is getting done. But I have visited several of my friends lately and spent a lot of time with my family. I've gardened and fiddled with stuff. I have been ill alot lately which really helps prioritize work to the bottom.

I am still working on making my film Surviving Death into a series. I've entered my idea into this filmnashville event called film-com.com and I feel really good about it. I've been on a few interviews lately. oh yeah I didn't mention that I quit the job I got. Well Hmm I haven't written much lately, I may not have mentioned that I got a job as a Production Manager of a spanish language Television show. But then I quit because they sort of faked me out. They gave me the impression that they were really ready to do things professionally but when it came down to it they wanted to only pay for 1/3 of my time and there was no budget for anything. I felt like I was expected to pressure my crew into working for free and it just didn't feel ethical. So anyway I am getting signs to work on consciousness continues.

So lately as I am nearing the end of my grace period for my student loans I know I have to start bringing in some money.  And with spring break here this week I just haven't been able to get much done with my film.

but I know that next week I will recommit to my project and I will get busy  and edit my project.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

God wants me to finish my project

Some call it fate or the idea that everything happens for a reason. I'm not going to lie I think it is God. I am lucky enough to get a job in my field before I even graduated from college. However, it is only a part time job of 15 hrs a week, working with an agency that supports victims of domestic violence. My job is to organize and plan the re-design of their television show an outreach program for the community.  Many people who just graduated from the Art Institute in film wouldn't be satisfied with a job like this but I'm not most people. I am very elated to be working part time helping the community in my field.

For me the bigger picture is that I need get Consciousness Continues going. I had planned to get these episodes started but I've been busy with the holidays and getting all kinds of projects done that had been waiting.

here is one project I finished last week:

An interesting thing happened on my way to work on my first day. A truck pulled in from of me and it had a website listed iandeconstruction . com the reason this is funny is because it contains the initials almst the same as the International Association of Near Death Studies it appears like International Association of Near Death Experiences.  I took that as a sign. Also 15 hrs a week of work is perfect for me to stay energized enough to work on my project and get Consciousness Continues going as well as everything else I do.  Maybe even write more.

So wish me luck. I've graduated college and am now making my attempt as an independent artist. My goal is to make meaningful entertainment and educate the public on issues, and most of all to inspire.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

When the student is ready the teacher will appear

I have been thinking about a concept of how we appear to other people. I don't know about you but are there people in your life that you always appear a certain way to them. By way of serendipity things always work out where even though you perhaps are not a person who is late, you are always late to see one particular person. Even if you are usually healthy you are always sick when it is time to see a particular person. If you are usually patient you are always upset when you see a particular person. Or vice vs - you are always calm and a good listener around certain people. You always have the best advice for a particular person, and so on, and so on.

I propose what if in this big machine of the universe we are instruments in the plan that when the student is ready the teacher will appear?  Thoughts?