Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The mind is a powerfull thing - expect good things

On Friday I am graduating from college with a Bachelor of Arts in Digital Film and Video. Many things have occurred while I was in college. I started when I had to be separated from my husband for awhile. We had some tragedy and started from the bottom financially. But it was all in the plan. In 2006 when we decided to move to Mexico we had a plan. I've mentioned it many times here. We would sell the 5 bed 3 bath house in Portland, Oregon and try out our lives in mexico. We would buy a fixer upper and flip houses in Puerto Vallarta. We would travel to Michoacan often to visit my Suegra and other family. If we were happy we may stay and build our lives in Mexico but worse case scenario we would come back after some time to Portland and it would be a perfect time for me to go to college because we would be poor and I would be able to get student loans. Then we would start over. So pretty much everything has went down the way the outline was. We weren't able to make it in Mexico because even though we bought a fixer and fixed it up the housing market fell apart in Puerto Vallarta and then I started getting deathly ill. So In 2009 I came back.
this is the little house that wasn't little - that we sold in Portland in 2007 right before the market busted
This is the little house we bought in Puerto Vallarta the fixer
this is that Puerto Vallarta house fixed up
Puerto Vallarta Kitchen before
Puerto Vallarta kitchen after
Puerto Vallarta roof before
Puerto Vallarta room after  different angle
fields in Michoacan
We came back to the US in 2009 and started over.  In September we bought another house, we are still low income but on FRIDAY - I'm graduating from college. My loans are steep but my confidence in my skills and art are too. I'll have more time to blog again and I hope you will join me.

Lastly - remember expect good things what you mentally plan for your future really comes true. I'm living evidence. 

Puerto Vallarta Girl in Portland

Friday, November 22, 2013

Mark Zuckerberg is my Hero- Fwd.org



I watched the Immigration Hackathon live yesterday - http://www.fwd.us/

It had about 6 groups of people. There were  dreamers and mentors but everyone was either working in programming or computer science or in related fields in college. For 24 hours they all brainstormed and came up with web page ideas to help push Immigration Reform Forward. 

I kept following the Facebook updates of fwd.us as the event played out trying to comment on what they are doing to show support and help educate the ignorant people who don't understand how things got this way.


In the past I knew fwd.us was originated from Facebook but I didn't really know what Mark's involvement was. I felt admirable that he was supporting immigration reform and I figured it had more to do with Facebook. As in he wants more B1 visas and more technology visas to make him more money etc. 


But what I saw during the judging was different. It was as if this guy really has a heart. His eyes are blessed by god and filled with desire to do something good. He has been quoted saying that "This is the  biggest civil rights issues of our time."  And now I think he is not only looking out for his workers he actually cares about people, I think he really is a humanitarian. 


Who would know what he is really like?   I mean many of us saw the facebook movie. It certainly did not portray Mark in a kind hearted way.   But I look at his photo now and I see that he is a hero.  The reason is because when one of the teams had a very complete idea done that showcased our politicians voting records specifically on immigration reform and someone said "we should have that on our fwd.us website now!" When Joe Green wasn't sure how to answer (probably because he needed Marks approval first) He sort of dodged the question. And then it was Marks turn to talk. Mark said "So Joe - why can't we have that on fwd.us now? "   and Joe Green said "Ok lets do it". 
In that moment I saw streaming live to me a spark in Marks eyes. A determination that he knows he has power to lead the people and has good intentions. In that moment I realized he really is a Humanitarian. 


check out - http://www.fwd.us/fwd_stories for more stories. This is an interactive page. 


Yesterday I watched live as the groups presented their ideas for judging. Three groups were able to win.  

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Increasing views and search results on youtube for adsense

I learned something VERY useful this week on youtube.  If you do adsense or you just want more views on your videos and want to be raised up in the search results for whatever keywords you have associated with your video = here are some cool tips.

After you add the keywords in the keyword area, also type them at the bottom of your description, AND VERY IMPORTANT put the most likely searched words in your title,  if possible.

Then  in order to show up higher in the search results you must search the term and click on your video, you don't need to watch the video just search it and click on it.

Continue to do this until your search results reflect what you want.

I know this first hand because for my film Surviving Death.   I've decided to release it on youtube as a promo for a future series on the same subject. My key words are NDE, Near Death Experience, or the name Surviving Death.

At first it only showed up on the first page of results if I put Surviving Death Documentary.  But now after repeatedly doing this process Surviving Death now showed up as the #2 item for someone (other than myself).   The reason this is significant is because there is a Discovery Channel show by the same name and at first when the video was only a few days old it was on the 3rd page.

Good luck hope this helps anyone interested in adsense etc.


Monday, October 14, 2013

unexplained weight gain partially explained - does splenda cause weight gain?

So I am no doctor nor nutritional researcher but I do pay pretty close attention to my own body. Awhile ago I decided to eat more leafy green vegetables and I have noticed that when I do I feel sharper and have a better memory. A few weeks before that I decided to cut out Splenda and even though I go back and forth with the green leafy I have stopped splenda 99% out of my diet (except for 1 diet soda I occasionally drink) . I'm also keeping about 10 lbs off that wouldn't go away. Coincidence?

Does Splenda cause weight gain?

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Veggies to the rescue

This week I've been eating more leafy green vegetables as well as sulfur vegetables. Yesterday I didn't eat any wheat bread. I did however try this gluten free bread made from rice flour.  The flavor is really hard to describe. The bread looks pretty much the same but biting into it feels different. It feels heartier. Like more substance to it. I happened to pick up some gluten free raisin bread with sunflower seeds.

Here is a photo from the Franz Web page 

I don't know if you can tell but the bread is spongier.

Anyway it was good to taste yet not like regular bread.

Yesterday I only ate gluten free bread, fruits, veggies, corn, and a few slices of sliced ham.

So here is the point of this blog post. I actually went for a walk today! Not a long walk but instead of having that I just want to go back into bed my body hurts feeling,  I thought " I think I'll walk with the kids and then go for a walk." Our new house is in viewing distance of the school so I have just been watching them walk to school in the morning, but today I went around the block and then did other stuff before starting my studying.
Stevia & Monk fruit

Soooo I'm still on all this medicine to control my blood pressure but I am hoping if I can increase my vegetable intake that I can reduce my intake of Amlodipine which is one of the blood pressure medicines I take that has the side effect of feet swelling.

Ohh another product I tried yesterday - rip off this liquid sweetner claims you only need 4 drops of it to sweeten something. It is liquid Stevia with Monk fruit. Cost $4 or something.  It's a lie it isn't that sweet, and it takes way more than 4 drops like 16 drops or a few flat out squirts to get it slightly sweet. So I think I'll return that.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Healing myself through food? A take on the hunter gatherer diet.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Last fall I had severe adrenal fatigue. I started reading http://www.amazon.com/Adrenal-Fatigue-Century-Stress-Syndrome/dp/1890572152
Adrenal Fatigue
(compulsive researcher) Anyway, I just got tired of my doctor always saying I'm fine. It is as if traditional doctors have a check list of concerns and if your issues do not test positive in the manner they are looking for then they decide it is all in your head. Interestingly enough in this book people that have adrenal fatigue discuss this.  After the onset of my Hypertension in 2007 when I lived in Mexico I started experiencing severe fatigue. It may be a reaction to the medicine(s) or just years of eating wrong, or both.

Little by little I think our collective unconscious is coming to a conclusion that what we eat has drastic effects on us. With gluten, genetically modified, and process foods maybe we need to eat better.

By fall 2012 I could not get through the day without taking Tramadol. I had been diagnosed with a list of issues from my doctor and in order to handle the pain I was taking ibuprofen but now days my stomach couldn't handle most pain relievers OTC or otherwise. My Doctor prescribed me Tramadol in 2010, which is said to be easier on the stomach,  and it worked like a miracle for me. Suddenly I could once again work long hours and keep going late into the night such as I've been accustomed to for the last 20 years.   This is all symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue or variations of it.  My symptoms did not fit perfectly with what was described but I am certain there are shades of grey. I got to the point where I felt like I couldn't get out of bed and the only way I could do anything was by taking the Tramadol. I didn't develop a huge addiction to the Tramadol where I was taking more and more it was always one per day,  but the time I needed it got earlier and earlier.  By last fall I was so exhausted I started laying in bed and watching TV. That is always a sign that I am severely fatigued. I deplore laying in bed and watching TV except right before bed or as a family event watching a movie. *the reason why is a whole other story. Anyway, so little by little I tried to make changes that were described in the Adrenal Fatigue book. I started taking Milk Thistle because I found it at Target on clearance. It was one of the vitamins described in the book as helping. I also started taking a B complex. And I took a complimentary bottle of Adrenal fatigue formula supplied with the purchase of the book. The book also described  a diet that was beneficial but I wasn't quite ready to implement it.

So summing that up I healed myself. I got myself completely off the Tramadol by about February and got better. I had a little more energy and was feeling optimistic.

Now fast forward to now.  Under stress I always take it out on my body. I do not nourish properly, nor exercise properly and I push myself too hard. Just like as the Adrenal Fatigue book describes. I'm back on Tramadol just to get through the day. There is something wrong with my body. I am in excruciating pain, my feet are swelling constantly, my joints are tight in the morning I can feel stiffness in my hands. I am a complete Ocean in the morning (beach joke).

A month ago I came across this Ted talk.  I don't have MS but I recommend this video for anyone who feels their health is not optimal.   She talks about how to go to a more hunter gatherer diet.  So gradually, after years of reading eat more leafy green veggies I am starting.  AND I think I'm going to try to eliminate gluten.  I'll report how I feel soon.

Wish me luck.  Trying to eat our way healthy.

PuertoVallartaGirl in Portland


Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Out of Place at the film fest, can check that off my list now.

So because my film is screening on Saturday when I'll be on a film shoot, I will not be able to be at my own screening at the Portland Film Fest.  I talked my husband into going down to the opening night events tonight and maybe have a few drinks, and perhaps mingle since it might be important for my career.

We head down there and the streets were packed with cars but we lucked out with a close parking spot. NW 21st was shut down and they had acrobats in the street performing. They even had the red carpet set up.  I had been told to pick up my passes and packet at will call. So we fumbled around for a minute and went over to the will call line. They didn't have my name on the list but they hand wrote our passes. When it was our turn to get photos taken on the red carpet the lady said "You can just walk through" 

"I'm a filmmaker I want to get our photos taken" 

"Well if you want to. " She said... awkward but we did anyway. 
*this is me just after we got back

Then Jay Cornelius, the Program Director and a former instructor of mine,  who is turning out to be quite kind said "they're filmmakers" and waved towards us.  I doubt the red carpet photo turned out well but I am hopeful for a miracle. It occurred to me later that perhaps they just want photos of the young and beautiful (and thin - weighing in at a hefty 180 = that I am not). Then I saw a few people that I vaguely knew but don't really care for and we didn't say hi. This worsens that awkward feeling.  I also saw one acquaintance that seemed busy and I felt too shy to say hi, yet again deepening awkwardness.
He wasn't actually sleeping he must have blinked :)

When we entered the theater one sweet friend of mine Katie Palmer a local costume designer recognized me and said hi, so that helped a little. 

We saw 2 short films and one feature length documentary. If you've read my blog then you know I am an accidental film snob.For the first film I applaud the effort they were attempting. It was called Pas De Restes, its about a wealthy family coming to a restaurant that requires you to finish every bit on your plate. In the menu are photos of starving children in 3rd world countries. The family proceeds to over order, but the Father figure gluttonously over orders and is forced to finish his food at gunpoint.   It was sort of funny and does make you think, but crossed the line to stupid in the end, with the use of loud diarrhea noises. However, like I said I applaud the effort.

There was another short that was sort of cute called Bless You and it was a few minutes long had nice cinema photography but was mostly a visual effects piece.

And Lastly was the Feature Documentary entitled "Without a Net" .. Enrique rapidly fell asleep, and I had to squeeze his hand when his snoring got audible.  I was editing it the whole time in my mind. There were a few cleverly edited parts but I kept thinking cut that, move that,  keep this, cut that, keep this, move that.  Perhaps for someone who has never lived in or been to Latin America it would have been more engrossing. For me it was ok. I'd already seen these types of circuses perform in Mexico several times. The concept was good that it was about keeping as risk youth out of trouble but I've already volunteered filming services to the local Circus Project and was thinking you don't have to go to South America for that story.

You see - Film Snob.

After that we walk out of there and we see Katy and chat for a moment and I cross the street to where the after party was to be and peak through the windows. I didn't see the free appetizers and there was a long line for drinks which I had heard were not free, so .... we came home. Why torture myself more right?

So I can check that off my list. Red carpet photo, check, film fest, check.

The next film festival I go to will be when my film is screening or someone that I know or worked on. It's too hard for me to fumble around and feel awkward. Why do that to myself. Right? 

Marriage journeys - Quotes running through my essence


I really dislike that right now tons of things are going absolutely fabulously for us and I feel too busy to enjoy it.   The short version of my films is doing well. I've gotten into the Portland Film Fest and my film is screening at the largest venue available. We closed on our new house last week and recorded on Friday so we are homeowners again. Though we are renting back for 9 days, so it doesn't feel like it yet. Even better news is we found out our house payment will only be 86 dollars more than what we pay for rent right now for a very crappy 2 bed 1 bath apartment in a not very nice area. 

To the quote "No man is a failure who is enjoying life", William Faulkner. 

Something has happened in my marriage that I knew would happen, through the years of getting my BA and kids and projects and working towards a career, and buying a house again, and all the things that life throws at you, we don't spend very much time together. And I knew*(know) that the happiness in our relationship is strictly dependent on us spending time together.  So gradually we have started to grow apart. Neither one of us wants this of course but we find it more difficult to understand each other the longer this goes on. And yes I love having these skills of film-making. Skills that just four years ago I didn't have. I love being able to express my art in the utmost professional of ways. 

But the journey has taken a toll. The title of this blog once again applicable to where it all started. I started this blog because the drive to Mexico took us 8 days with 2 small children. And now again the traveling through these past 4 years has been hard. They have been good too but with having many health issues at the same time as being a woman of 42 years old and a rather needy wife. It has been hard. 

Lately I've been reading a book called the 5 love languages and there really is something to it. The book concludes that there are five broad categories that people feel love.  One of the ways that I've always wanted to be shown love is in grand gestures. It could be because as a child my dad would always surprise us with grand gestures. He would always do a random thing big. Like instead of  going to the beach with little buckets and shovels he would bring full size wheelbarrows and five gallon buckets and build a HUGE sandcastle. Now the sand castle wasn't all perfect but it was huge. Anyway, my point is through the years I have made slide shows, mix tapes, letters, stories, movies, all this type of things spending hours and hours trying to show my husband how much I love him and usually he will see it and then go "oh thanks" and turn and walk away.  It is not because he is being mean it is because the way he feels loved is affection and acts of service. So if I make him dinner, iron his clothes (which I rarely ever iron), massage his back, cater to him, he will feel loved.  

When we were first together I used to do a lot of these things but I never felt the love back and eventually after years and years and years and college, I stopped doing most of those things. He on the other hand will make me lunch or cook me something at times when he is trying to show me love. At that point it is me who is like "ok thanks"  We are both trying to show our love but the other person doesn't hear it. Here is the issue the one language we both speak is quality time. When we both spend quality time together that ends in Sex we are both very happy. He emotionally starts opening up we talk and I feel loved.  There in lies the catch 22. He's been working 6 days a week. So we can buy this house and so he can support us. And I'm feeling like a single mom wanting to pull my hair out and run from the house screaming, largely due to summer break. 

I occasionally read the blog Americas Next top Mommy and recently she went on a missionary trip to Ethiopia. Once she made it back and started acclimating back to American life, she was appalled at the trivial complaints of Americans.  So I know that my complaints are not on the chart like when I was dying and penniless in Puerto Vallarta. Believe me I know. 

The issue is how to stop this cycle of chaos. My eldest son says to take some time off. But I only have 3 more classes until I fulfill this dream. 

I know I need to pray and visualize and meditate. I need to get off my smart phone and spend more quality time with people I care about.

but sometimes I feel like this - 



Everything we planned for our lives for years has come about but now I want to get back to enjoying it.

We planned to to sell our house and  move to Mexico and buy a house and fix it up and if we decided to stay great if not we'd come back, maybe we'd make money or maybe we'd be poor. If we were poor I could surely go to college because I would be low income not having worked for a few years. After a few years we'd be eligible for a first time home buyer program again.

So all that has happened - wanna hear the next part of the plan?  We are going to be rich and have lots of homes and vacations.  It would be so funny if that actually happens. I am just supposed to be ridiculously successful and fully express my true art.

Well anyway, so much for my ridiculous complaints. Next week when we move into the house I hope everything will be wonderful again. There is a nice yard, double garage, 3 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bath. A much larger kitchen with a DISHWASHER!!! Which we do not have now.

And Maybe I can start painting again and making films because of the love of the art form.

I still have a few projects to finish.  I'm thinking now my career will be as editor so my life in front of a computer is sealed to me now but I'm not sure I can be on set because my back just can't take it so it must be the best bet for me.

Well that is all for now sorry if my problems are stupid I've just been feeling like I need to get my head straight. Like - why am I not happy... ?  I've been happier when I was a stay at home mom clipping coupons and taking care of my husband.

Blessings
PuertoVallartaGirl in Portland

Friday, July 5, 2013

does a tank top make you a tramp? give me a break!

So I think I've ranted on here a few times about how at the age of 38 when I started Art College I kept hearing the words "learn how to think more critically".  I'm always thinking that I've spent this first 38 years of my life trying to teach myself how to not judge people.

At this point in my life to be taught how to think critically seems like such a waste of time.

However, with just 6 classes sitting between me and my college diploma I have become another critical film student. I guess it was inevitable.  Critical thinking seems to come naturally with knowledge. After 4 years of education on film-making  I fixate on certain artistic choices directors make. I have tried not to let critical thinking infest the rest of my life.

So why do I bring this up? This morning I found myself irritated witnessing what I guess is a common conversation all over this world. The conversation started out as just a parenting conversation but then somehow segued into a conversation about appropriate dress so as not to appear like a  tramp.

I normally would have turned and walked away as quickly as possible. I do not need to be involved in a lesson on another way to judge people. I do care what people wear. I may sometimes form opinions on accident based on dress but I do my darnedest to not do that.

How can people that are supposedly so Christian, or believe themselves to be with god and whatnot think it is ok to force such judgement on other people because of the clothes they wear. I mean really, does showing a little cleavage make a person a bad person.  Does not wearing a bra mean you are promiscuous?  I do not care, nor care to speculate.  However I would like to somehow welcome others to join with me and not judge people by their clothes.

Is that possible? Can we do that?

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Surviving Death, a short documentary is now available for a $2 1 week rental

 go to  http://survivingdeath.filmbinder.com/ to rent

Here is the trailer.

actually it has been put on youtube for all for free -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgBdf1GqNlA

Monday, June 3, 2013

where did I go?

so - I guess I just never get over here to the blog very often - but my new thing I just set up today is to post to facebook - I've been doing it from my own profile for a  very long time. I figured I should let ya'll know over here.

https://www.facebook.com/AMotherAndFilmmakerWhoTalksTooMuch


Saturday, April 6, 2013

Is Mental health Medicine really any different than street drugs?


In this photo my mother is angry with me for not coming to visit for a long time. We didn't have the money to make the trip to Hood River for about 2 months. She believes that I am her mother and that she is only 3 years old and I have left her to die. 
Is Mental health Medicine really any different than street drugs? 

That is the question that the article at this link poses -  http://truththeory.com/2012/07/17/depression-chemical-imbalance-doesnt-exist-experts-say/     Well that is how I took it.
In this photo she is pouting, we had started to leave to go out when she said that she was in too much pain.  I think she was just pouting. The towells she is holding is because she drools, that has happened for years.  And the gloves have to do with her delusion that taking them off the light will hurt her. If you see the polka dots on her gloves that is from paint. She fancies herself an artist. 

I posted this story on my facebook page and decided I should share it here - because it is an important issue we really should be considering.  I offer my mothers story, which I have written about here several times in the past but possibly never with this comparison.
Here is one of her artworks that I think is actually quite pretty. 

My mother had a nervous breakdown in about 1975. After that she was put through shock treatments, was institutionalized on and off and was continually put on experimental medicine. She was always taking medicine that had side effects and then medicine to solve the side effects and maybe even more medicine to solve those medicines side effects. 
She painted her bathroom window. I sort of like it.  Its cheery. 

By now she has probably spent about 1/2 of her life in mental health hospitals.  I'm writing this to you because I want to make a point. Between ADHD medicine, and anti-depressants, and all the other medicines that are our there and so easily prescribed from our doctors who get kickbacks from pharmaceutical companies does anyone even really know the long term effects of these medicines? 

When I was a child they said my mom had a chemical imbalance in her brain and all the medicines they gave her were to help her regain that balance. But I believe that after too many years of being on these medicines her brain finally gave way. Nowdays she lives in a 24/7 nightmare and never gets better at all. 

My mom has NEVER used street drugs. She may have tried marijuana in the 70's not sure, and she has rarely even drank alcohol, very rarely not even 1 glass a year. 


In the 70's they called it Manic Depression. She would sometimes get better for a year or so at a time.

In the late 80's they called it bi-polar. Still she could often get better for a year or so at a time.


But in the 90's she deteriorated even more and they called it bi-polar schizoid affective.  

By the 2000's she only got better for about 8 months in the year 2002. 

Now she never gets better. 


If you read or watch any programs about how street drugs, ecstasy  and meth work on your brain you will see that after extended use the serotonin levels in the brain don't refill anymore.  I believe that is what has happened to her.   



Are anti-depressants and street drugs really THAT different? 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Irrationally feeling guilty and apologetic for everything in my life

Nowadays my blog is so dry because I rarely write from my heart.  Have you ever been so busy that you don't even know how you feel about your own life.  I'm a senior in college at age 42.  I've been in college since October 2009.  I have never worked so hard towards 1 thing in my entire life.  And I'm getting tired. I really feel like they should just give me the degree.

Last year I slowed down my education to work for NBC and now that means I'll have to go to school 2 extra terms. I'm supposed to graduate next term on June 15, 2013 but I won't be graduating until December.

If I were single and had no children I could probably just take 5 classes at a time. Since I have a family I can only take 4 classes at a time.

a few weeks ago at a quincinera
I sit here and wonder how I got to this point where I feel guilty about everything in my life. I feel guilty I'm not spending enough quality time with my children. Not spending enough time with my nieces and nephews. Guilty I'm not taking good enough care of my husband. Guilty I'm not finishing a few projects I started awhile ago. Guilty I don't do my spiritual practice everyday. The weird thing is I don't even believe in guilt. I've been feeling nervous for a few weeks. I feel like something is a miss that I cannot put my fingers on.

Internally I know that my empathy barometer is picking up on something that I cannot tell what it is yet.   Before Hurricane Sandy happened I was a complete nervous wreck. So bad that I couldn't function. I had emailed the instructor of this useless editing class on the day of Hurricane Sandy and told him I was too upset to go.  I could feel what was happening.  And now for the past few weeks I've been a nervous wreck. I have some good days but it feels like it is getting increasingly worse. My mind is interpreting that it has something to do with my marriage. I don't know. My husband is being wonderful to me, caring and good. But I just don't feel like we are connecting with a deep connection. We are connecting on a surface and sweet connection. I just cannot put my fingers on it. I hate this feeling. Suspicion and anxiety.

As far as my movie I am sort of waiting for the next divine sign of what to do. Usually on my blog I try to put my best face forward, but I guess I owe it to who ever reads this blog that things are not always happy go lucky. Its stressful and hard. I freak out and scream at my kids sometimes. I do get inspired all the time and wish I did more to help the community. The past week or so I've been feeling the best and worst that I have for awhile. The good thing about being busy is you don't have time to feel everything, the bad thing about being busy is you don't have time to feel everything.

There are so many good things going on and I just cannot figure out why I am stressed. We are buying a house soon. We are in this home buying program where we save 2k and they give us 8k. Wehave our pre-approval appointment soon. House prices are pretty good. My film is coming along well. My health is much better than it was. My eldest son is in Australia doing study abroad.  My tax return is due to arrive tomorrow. So many good things are happening and  I just cannot understand why I am so anxious.

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Blessings.
PuertoVallarta Girl in Portland.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Peace, Human rights, and Near Death Experiences


I just have to be honest - the reason I chose to do a documentary about the Near Death Experience is because I am at peace with the subject.  Hearing the stories of NDE spread peace, love, and compassion. Learning that consciousness continues after death helps people inter-personally and especially helps people who are grieving the death of a loved one. Hearing the stories helps our fellow humans.

The reason I did not do a documentary about Immigration Reform, which at one point was my goal,  is because it fires me up in all the wrong ways - ie. frustration, anger, sadness, despair, and a sense of helplessness. Spiritually speaking - they say anything you fight against persists.  Don't get me wrong, some day I probably will do a documentary about immigration reform, but I have to get to a place where I don't feel so personal about it.

Actually that is another reason I try not to get into politics, politics are consuming and in a way like chasing your tail. I feel like we as a people can ask your politicians to do their best and represent our interests. We must be a squeaky wheel - and you know the squeaky wheel gets the oil. (I learned that early on in my career) However, we must let go of the outcome.

This life is not about our petty differences it is about all the ways that we are the same.  All any of us wants is to be loved, feel like we belong, and for someone to listen to us at least some of the time.  We should all be finding ways that we have stuff in common. I know when I have practiced this in difficult situations, my life seamlessly becomes easier.  It has been more difficult for me to practice this with the ever changing lifestyle of freelance, college, and producing my first feature film, but I need to remember that. Each time I look at a person on the street I know deep down they want the same things we all want. And in this commonality our lives can shift.

The great spiritual leaders say that we are on the brink of a shift in consciousness  I'd like to think that shift is in the fact that we all realize we are the same and connected.

Energy never dissipates it only changes form. We are all in this great energy field living a life that is somewhat of an illusion. Once you die you do not have possessions   The only thing that you can carry with you is the love and forgiveness and nurturing that you did while you are alive. I'm not perfect at this. I think if I was perfect at this I probably would have passed on to the next dimension.

I want to finish this post with a quote I heard in a documentary about George McGovern - Taken from the political documentary enttiled "One Bright Shining Moment" these are words that I believe apply to life in general.  This quote by Dick Gregory, author and civil rights activists 


" If you took darkness and you lit one match, from miles away you could see that one match"
and another quote from the same documentary .


"because darkness sees darkness, you know, if you've been in the dark for so long, the light hurts your eyes".

These are the words I try to remember when I try to spread the messages of peace, human rights, and Near Death Experiences.

Peace out
PuertoVallartaGirl in Portland

Monday, March 18, 2013

Reward chart - goes digital

oK Moms - Lets talk chores and rewards - I don't know if you have this problem but I was trying to motivate my kids by having a monetary reward list on the wall for each chore, and all my kids had to do was do the chores and write down the money and I would initial. For some reason that worked ok with Teal when he was little but with my 2 littlest and the digital age they don't seem to care. sooooo I decided to look for an app to help with behavior and chores and tried several out. I finally found one that is customizable and works great and the best part - The kids are completely motivated - 

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=test.rewardmychore&hl=en 

I've added categories for all the chores split out into tiny steps like dishes 1 (means put dishes away), dishes 2 (wash dishes), dishes 3 (clean up counters). Etc etc. and then you can add the rewards. I've added play outside as the cheapest at 3 poitns and watch tv is 4. If they are bad you give them a thumbs down for the appropriate category which means they are one less point, and they can't redeem their rewards until they have enough points. If they use them to go outside and then want to watch tv they have to do more chores. Like reading, homework. My kids love it and so do I. And the good thing is the list of thumbs up and thumbs down resets each night. but the points stay. 


Peace out!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Immigration Reform heating up again. Go Randall and American Families United

As you may be able to tell I've hung low on the Immigration Reform Issues for awhile because of a few issues.

#1)  I actually have a spiritual belief that what you fight against persists in your life. And being that all I really want is for Immigration Reform to happen I figure I need to walk the talk. So I've let it go a little especially with how busy I am in college and my new career.

#2) The other issues is that if you have followed me you know how deeply I am affected by the Immigration Reform Issue. I will not be telling why or how but I am.

I have recently read of issues of abuse by Border Patrol and Customs.  I was a victim. But I was very unaware of how that affected my future and it had never occurred to me until recently that I could even fight it. Someday when my film is big and I'm rich and famous :) I will fight. But for now I just want to give an update of some articles I've come across.

I follow several groups and I am actually the inactive Oregon Chapter President of American Families United. I've asked to step down but I guess Randall has faith in me and is just waiting it out until I have more time again. Anyway this article showed up on my facebook today.

http://thehill.com/blogs/congress-blog/homeland-security/288493-family-reunification-must-be-part-of-immigration-reform#.UUOZXkiixHg.blogger

I still don't understand the ignorance from the general public about the issue.   All the hateful ignorant comments from people who don't even really know the issue and they rattle out all these rules and ideas. For God Sake immigration issues are a Civil issue. It isn't even technically criminal. In Every 20-50 years of US history  a different group is the target of racism.   The whole issue of racism makes me so frustrated because Native Americans and Mexican Natives are closely related, as well as the fact that California and Texas and that whole Southwest portion of the US used to be Mexico.   Then a bunch of white people show up on a boat...well you know the story but as time goes by when one group experiences racism and then they assimilate and then their children become the same people that dish racism to the next group.  Or I guess the correct word I should use is Nativism.  But we all know that Nativism holds hands with Racism.

I actually commented on the above article, it let me and so I did. I commented about the fact that it implies US Citizens have it made when it comes to having rights for their spouses.  I tried not to respond to the hate of the other comments other than rating them thumbs down. Look for the comment by Heather.

The next article I'd like to share is about Randall a person who I actually met over the phone/internet way back when I lived in Mexico and began being an Immigration Advocate. Randall is the President of American Families United. He testified in front of congress yesterday.

Here is his testimony copied directly from :  http://www.aila.org/content/fileviewer.aspx?docid=43589&linkid=258956


- 1 -
Testimony of Randall Emery
President, American Families United
To a hearing on
The Separation of Nuclear Families under U.S. Immigration Law
Thursday 3/14/2013 - 1:30 p.m.
2237 Rayburn House Office Building
Subcommittee on Immigration and Border Security
AILA InfoNet Doc. No. 13030851. (Posted 3/14/13)
- 2 -
Thank you Chairman Gowdy, ranking member Lofgren, and all the members of the panel. My name is Randall Emery. I am a US citizen. I am president and co-founder of American Families United. We are the premier grassroots organization advocating for nuclear families in US immigration reform.
American Families United was founded by US citizens in 2006 because our rights as US citizens – as husbands and wives, mothers and fathers – are not respected by US immigration law. We could not find another voice working on the specific oversights in US immigration law that threatened our right as US citizens to live with our families in our country.

We immediately made common cause with legal permanent residents – and are here today – because our values demand no less. These are people who got their green cards and then got married – and were shocked by the indefensible delays they face in living together as nuclear families in the country that claims to welcome them as legal permanent immigrants.

It is often said that our immigration laws are broken, but not why. It’s simple: our laws contradict our values.
On the one hand, we welcome legal immigrants as permanent residents and urge them to become US citizens – so that “they” become “us”. On the other hand, our laws block some of the most basic human values for both legal immigrants and US citizens – marriage and family.

Today’s hearing is on the separation of nuclear families under US immigration law. Let me take a moment to give a brief history of the F2A backlog, the spouses and minor children of legal permanent residents.

It has been nearly a quarter century since the Congress last increased legal immigration, even though the country’s population has grown by a quarter and our economy is nearly 60% larger. America is a positive sum proposition. Isn’t that why we get married and have children?

In 1990, if someone got a green card today and got married tomorrow, the minimum wait was one year. The House of Representatives passed a version of the Immigration Act of 1990 that would have made this category numerically unlimited, although the Senate would only agree to a substantial increase.

Speaking on behalf of American Families United, we are proud of Governor Romney for proposing to return to this idea in his 2012 campaign, and we were very encouraged at news reports that Senator Rubio has also proposed making the F2A category into Immediate Relatives under the law.

In 1995, the bipartisan US Commission on Immigration Reform examined this issue. Known as the Jordan Commission, they were the first to ask the State Department for a formal count: how many people are we talking about?

At that time, the official estimate was 1.1 million, with more than 800,000 in the US and another 300,0000 waiting abroad, facing a minimum wait of 3 years. The Jordan Commission found both those numbers contrary to our national interest in warmly welcoming new Americans, and recommended that Congress recognize that the unification of nuclear families should have priority.

But others said at the time that this backlog was merely temporary and would go away on its own.

By the end of the 1990s, it was clear that the separation of nuclear families had become a permanent feature of US immigration policy. The State Department has explained that their 1997 estimate of more than a million was very low, for two reasons:

First, they had not properly counted the numbers of nuclear family members waiting in the United States, since the then-INS does not count applications until a visa is nearly available. Neither does the USCIS now.

Second, the delay is so long that families often increase while waiting – that is, a husband might visit his wife, who was counted as one person waiting but when her priority date finally arrives, the family has children. This is particularly true for Mexico.

For many years, the only way to see the scale of human misery created by this failure of our laws was to watch the priority dates – or the way we in American Families United have seen it, with people like Mat, here, who come to us for help and join our cause. We want to show the Committee most of the iceberg is below the surface.

In December 2000, the minimum worldwide wait for the spouse of a legal permanent resident was 4 years and 5 months. For Mexico, it was 6 years and two months. That was when Congress passed the LIFE Act, which created the V visa that allowed spouses and minor children of legal permanent residents to wait for their green cards in the US – but only up until the date of enactment. American Families United supported last year’s STEM bill, which would have revived the V visa. But it is important to realize that the LIFE Act did not solve the problem.

The worldwide wait for the nuclear families of legal immigrants peaked in July 2006 at 6 years and nine months. For Mexico, it peaked in July 2003 at 7 years and 8 months.

How could the total number of people waiting have been declining, when the time they must wait increased?
Over the next few years – from 2003 to 2010 – something happened, which you can see in the dry charts of the priority dates, but which we at American Families United heard directly from the people affected.

Literally hundreds of thousands of people who should have been welcomed as American families were pushed into the shadows or forced to leave their new country: exiled – or outlawed.

Month by month, the State Department moved the priority dates forward, in order to bring in that month’s portion of annual immigration in this category. By July 2010, the delay that had been nearly 7 years worldwide, had become just two years. For Mexico, what had been a nearly 8 year delay had ostensibly declined to a little more than 3.

Today, the State Department’s Visa Bulletin pegs both Mexico and the worldwide wait in this category the same: 2 years, 5 months. That’s the delay Mat is facing. It’s far, far too long. Yet it’s not the whole story.

It is not true that a shorter waiting time means fewer people are waiting. It means something much worse. Since 2010, the State Department has published an annual Waiting List. Last November, they officially counted 220,313 people waiting in this category.

But it has to be said clearly: this is misleading, because the State Department count does not include hundreds of thousands of applications for nuclear family immigration held at USCIS. There is no consolidated count for nuclear family unification.

Outside of the comprehensive immigration debate, there is no discussion of how many of the undocumented population has been eligible for legal immigration for many years. So it isn’t so much that they violate the value of the rule of law. Instead, our immigration laws fail the test of American values.

So let me briefly show the Committee the human face of these numbers through stories shared with us.
Consider the example of an engineer from Russia, who was working in Oklahoma. He married his sweetheart from back home, who was working in Kazakhstan. At the time, the minimum time they had to wait fluctuated each month between 5 and 6 years. But then she was hit by a car. Many of her bones were broken. He literally tried to commute between Kazakhstan and Oklahoma, to continue his career while obeying that part about “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health”. But he spent so much time at her bedside that he lost his permanent residence status in the US – and America lost that guy, someone who flew halfway around the world three times a month to try to keep his commitment to his new country as well as his new bride.

Just one more example, of many: an elevator repairman, a skilled mechanic from Jamaica, owns his own business. He married a foreign student from Trinidad. They had a baby – so she was the mother of a US citizen, and the wife of a legal permanent resident. But as often happens, it never occurred to her that US immigration law does not respect those fundamental values. She learned that her mother in Trinidad was dying – so she faced the dilemma: she could bring the only granddaughter to her dying mother, and be exiled from her husband, raise that little girl apart from her father for ten years – or she could remain in the US, never see her mother again, and be permanently outlawed.

Now, some might ask: why can’t these people just wait to become US citizens?
There are two things to say to that. First, America welcomes legal immigrants. That’s why they are legal, after all.

It defies our national interest to tell a new American that they cannot marry, cannot really start a new life in the United States, until they become a US citizen. What national interest could it possibly serve, to tell husbands and wives that they must sleep in separate countries for five years?

Second, even naturalization does not help in many thousands of cases. We know – that’s why American Families United was founded by US citizens whose spouses have been caught by the fish hooks and bear traps that litter US immigration law and policy. We know that nuclear families are often forced apart because our immigration laws are like death penalty trials with traffic court rules of evidence, with catastrophic consequences to US citizen families.

That’s why on Valentine’s Day – which happened to be Mat’s wedding day – AFU members met with 53 Congressional offices, including personal meetings with 5 US Senators and, in fact, we have met with several members of this Committee: with ranking Member Lofgren, in her California office; with Congressman Gutierrez – thank you again for your public support, Congressman Poe, Congressman Amodei, and others here in DC; and with the staff of Congressman Gowdy, Congressman Holding, and Congressman Garcia.

As those of you who met with us recall, we have a very specific ask for due process waiver reform: that US citizens’ families be treated at least as generously as anybody else in comprehensive immigration reform.

American Families United’s full legislative agenda is on our website, AmericanFamiliesUnited.org.

For this Committee hearing, let me emphasize just two parts: immediate relative status for the nuclear families of legal permanent residents, and – please, do not forget – due process waiver reform, so that the families of US citizens are at least not treated worse than others in comprehensive reform legislation.
Thank you.


Supporting Material:
From the Executive Summary of Legal Immigration: Setting Priorities, the 1995 Report of the bipartisan US Commission on Immigration Reform http://www.utexas.edu/lbj/uscir/reports.html (Page XV)
By the end of this fiscal year, 824,000 spouses and minor children of aliens legalized under IRCA will be waiting for visas. The number of new applications has fallen to only a handful for this group. However, since the filing of applications by the legalization beneficiaries, a backlog of 279,000 (or about 80,000 per year) spouses and minor children of other LPRs has developed. Under our current system, it would take more than a decade to clear the backlog, even with substantial naturalization. In the meantime, when an LPR sponsors a spouse and/or minor child, that individual goes to the end of the waiting list of 1.1 million.
History of the F2A backlog, the spouses and minor children of legal permanent residents:
Minimum wait (summarized from the State Department Visa Bulletin Archives)
December 1995 http://dosfan.lib.uic.edu/ERC/visa_bulletin/9512bulletin.html
Worldwide August 92; Mexico February 92
Worldwide: 4 years, 5 months
Mexico: 4 years, 10 months
December 1999 http://dosfan.lib.uic.edu/ERC/visa_bulletin/9912bulletin.html
Worldwide September 1995; Mexico June 1994
Worldwide: 4 years, 3 months
Mexico: 5 years, 7 months
December 2000 (when LIFE Act created the V Visa):
Worldwide: July 96; Mexico October 94.
Worldwide: 4 years, 5 months
Mexico: 6 years, 2 months
July 2001
Worldwide September 96; Mexico October 94
Worldwide: 4 years, 9 months
Mexico: 6 years, 3 months
July 2002
Worldwide April 97; Mexico November 94
Worldwide: 5 years, 2 months
Mexico: 7 years, 8 months
July 2003
Worldwide: May 98; Mexico December 95
Worldwide: 5 years, 2 months
Mexico: 7 years, 8 months
July 2004
Worldwide: March 2000; Mexico August 97
Worldwide: 4 years, 3 months
Mexico: 6 years, 11 months
July 2005
Worldwide: May 2001; Mexico May 98
Worldwide: 4 years, 2 months
Mexico: 7 years, 2 months
July 2006
Worldwide: September 99; Mexico September 99
Worldwide: 6 years, 9 months
Mexico: 6 years, 9 months
July 2007
Worldwide June 02; Mexico August 01
Worldwide: 5 years, 1 month
Mexico: 6 years, 11 months
July 2008
Worldwide: August 03; Mexico UNAVAILABLE
Worldwide: 4 years, 11 months
Mexico: Unavailable
July 2009
Worldwide: December 04; Mexico June 02
Worldwide: 4 years, 8 months
Mexico: 7 years, 1 month
July 2010
Worldwide July 08; Mexico June 07
Worldwide: 2 years
Mexico: 3 years, 1 month
July 2011
Worldwide: March 08; Mexico February 08
Worldwide: 3 years, 3 months
Mexico: 3 years, 4 months
July 2012
Worldwide: February 2010; Mexico February 2010
Worldwide: 2 years, 4 months
Mexico 2 years, 4 months
March 2013:
Worldwide: November 2010; Mexico November 2010.
Worldwide: 2 years, 5 months
Mexico: 2 years, 5 months
American Families United
www.americanfamiliesunited.org
c/o Morrison Public Affairs Group
b.a.m@att.net
301-263-1142
Inadmissibility Waivers Based on Family and Community Equities. Current waiver provisions for the various grounds of inadmissibility vary widely in standards and applicability. Most create bright lines between eligibility and ineligibility which fail to account for the widely varying facts of each case. We propose an overall waiver section applicable to all grounds of inadmissibility that are not based on prospective conduct. The provision creates a balancing test of positive and negative factors to be applied in each case. Central to these factors are the strength of family and community ties compared to the seriousness of the misconduct involved.
Legislative Language
SEC. XXX. WAIVERS OF INADMISSIBITY. Section 212 of the Immigration and Nationality Act (8 U.S.C. 1182) is amended by inserting the following subsection (c)—
“(c)(1) Notwithstanding any other provision of law, the Secretary of Homeland Security or the Attorney General shall waive the effect of the following statutory provisions unless it is found that the balance of favorable and unfavorable factors on the totality of the evidence weighs against granting the waiver:
“(i) Any one or more grounds of inadmissibility (including any requirement of permission to reapply for admission and any application for relief from removal) set forth in subsections (a)(2), (a)(4), (a)(6), (a)(7), (a)(8), (a)(9), and (a)(10)(except subparagraph (A)) to permit an alien to receive an immigrant visa or be adjusted to the status of lawful permanent resident; or
“(ii) Any one or more grounds of removability set forth in section 237, except subsection (a)(4).
“(2) Favorable factors shall include:
“(i) The amount of time that has passed since the events or conduct that is the basis of the inadmissibility;
“(ii) The extent of rehabilitation and remorse demonstrated by the alien since such events or conduct;
“(iii) The duration of legal residence in the United States;
“(iv) The presence of family members entitled to live legally in the United States; AILA InfoNet Doc. No. 13030851. (Posted 3/14/13)
- 14 -
“(v) The provision of economic and social support to family members entitled to live legally in the United States;
“(vi) Property owned by the alien in the United States for personal or business use;
“(vii) Social, economic or cultural contributions made by the alien to his community in the United States or abroad;
“(viii) Honorable service in the armed forces of the United States or of an ally of the United States;
“(ix) The extent of any hardship that would be suffered by the alien or any person entitled to live legally in the United States due to the alien’s inadmissibility; and
“(x) Any specific benefit that would accrue to the government or citizens of the United States by permitting the alien to become a lawful permanent resident.
“(3) Unfavorable factors shall include:
“(i) The seriousness of the conduct that is the basis of the inadmissibility;
“(ii) Commission of serious crimes or significant immigration violations in addition to the conduct that is the basis of the inadmissibility;
“(iii) Specific harm caused to the national interest of the United States by conduct of the alien;
“(iv) Any specific detriment that would accrue to the government or citizens of the United States by permitting the alien to become a lawful permanent resident.
“(4) The absence of one or more favorable factors shall not be construed as a negative factor and a single favorable factor can provide sufficient basis to grant a waiver.
“(5) Permitting spouses and minor children to live together in the United States if one of the spouses is a citizen or lawful permanent resident is a specific benefit to the government and citizens of the United States and shall be given conclusive weight in favor of granting waivers in the absence of unusually serious negative factors.”
### AILA InfoNet Doc. No. 13030851. (Posted 3/14/13)



How are the 60s still an influence when it comes to minorities? (pick one minority)

I wrote this paper for my history class that is about the 60s.

Ongoing social and economic “progress” of “minorities”

 Part 1, How are the 60s still an influence when it comes to minorities? (pick one minority)




First off this question is flawed. Take a look at our census from 2011 pictured above . There still persists this misconception and idea around the issue of minority. According to this there are basically only WHITE people and BLACK people. If you do the math 78.1 % White people, 13.1 % Black people. That is 91.2% of our population with a few other specific ethnicities called out. I do think there is a bigger issue that is a problem here. Hispanic is a category not even related to the fact of whether you are White or Black. And where are the Irish, Italians, Russians, Middle Easterners, and Latinos etc and how can we still be so stuck on color of skin? Why is there even this lump of white people and really what is white anyway? We always hear all this harping about illegal immigrants in our country. Evidently they are mostly white but I don’t think all the racists in Arizona would say that. The USA is and always has been the great melting pot of the world. You say pick one minority but that is very difficult for me to do because the whole idea of what is a minority is difficult to describe. Sometimes people try to say women are a minority but they are 50% of the population and that is not a minority is it? How are the 60’s still influencing minorities? I think the people in the 60’s who used to fight for free love, the idea to make your own way and drop out from society all got mortgages and families and bought right back into that government machine that they were so against. But, there is one way that the 60’s live on and that is this issue of what we call the fight for civil rights but was really the a fight for human rights. The fights of the 60’s helped the American society as a whole to shift its thinking paradigm but there is still that line drawn with black people on one side and then everyone else on the other side. I think that is a flaw of the violence of the time. It reminds me of the article where a black man went into a white restaurant dressed as an African and was treated with complete respect. There is and was a different issue going on, which is power and control of black people and somehow since the 60’s through that fight and the anger of the whites towards blacks, that anger has switched sides. After a few hundred years of abuse and repression black people are still pissed off, understandably so but clearly not over this issue.

Part 2, Exactly what is that influence?

That is a good question exactly how has the 60’s influenced minorities. Black people fight for their rights and are still fighting for their rights. Somehow the government has found new ways to legally instill racism into our society by being harsher on blacks and people with brown skin when it comes to sentencing crimes. To tell you the truth I've written this paper 3 times so far because every time I start to write I get into a rant about what is still wrong. But I think the question is supposed to be what is better. When we started this class I was able to detach myself from all the little details and I had a better sense of how the 60’s instilled a shift of consciousness. But now afterwards I think about the activism of the 60’s which is very inspiring, I cannot for the life of me get away from what I think still needs to change. I am trying my best to focus on positive changes since the 60’s. I would have to say the biggest change in American culture is what we call civil rights but what in truth is Human rights, like I said earlier. Since the 60’s there have been great jumps in the understanding and practice of Human Rights and not treating people like animals and that women are to be treated with respect same as men. The world is not perfect but it is certainly much better than it was back then. The government still condones and allows people to be treated without their basic human rights and civil rights and that is with this label of ”illegal immigrant” which is a whole other rant about private prisons and corruption in our government. But in general there is now a sort of double edged sword. On one side Americans and even new immigrants quickly get this sense of entitlement that you just do not find in other countries. We expect our government to hand over everything to us on a silver platter. Then on the other side of the coin we rarely fight back to the government because we know the government can still do whatever they want. With 9/11, weapons of mass destruction, the Patriot Act, and policeman having ‘the god complex’ there is still an element of that same feeling that I believe was present back in the 60’s. We are all still under the thumb of Uncle Sam. Which is sort of illogical that we know we are under Uncle Sam’s thumb but we still demand the government give us more benefits. This question is a really difficult question. What is different now because of the 60’s. Black people have more opportunities, education is available to everyone, Women can chose to have children or not, and we have a black president. People know deep down that if we gather together and stand up together we can make a change. Yes the 60’s made a difference. Yes things are better. Things are not perfect. But they are much better than if the 60’s activism never happened at all.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Short bio - Cesar Chavez

Emmett Till - the horrific incident that helped ignite the civil rights movement.

Black History Month - equality - American Social and Cultural History

I have been so busy.  Soo busy with my documentary about Near Death Experiences. Trying to raise awareness of this issue.  If you are interested in checking it out go to http://cavernfilms.wix.com/survivingdeathdoc

I'm always and acutely aware of racism, equal rights and prejudice. My son showed me the below video yesterday. He is in a generation which is  RIGHT ON facing the next equal rights issue that we are all aware of and that is equality with sexual preference.

This song is by a popular group that puts together the civil rights fight with the fight for equal rights for all. Listen to the words, this song is just wonderful. There are many parts of the lyrics I love but right now it is "No freedom until we are equal, you're dam right I support it".



I'm nearing the end of my degree. Can you believe that I'm almost there? My life (other than my health issues) is really coming out the way I planned in 2006, be careful what you look forward to because it really happens. When we lived in Portland before we moved to Mexico we flat out planned these events:

  • Sell house
  • Move to mexico
  • Vacation 
  • Buy a house 
  • Fix it up
  • Spend all the money
  • Sell the house 
  • Come back repurchase what we needed. 
At that point we would be poor enough to qualify for student loans and grants and I could go to college.  We would be poor for a few years while I was going to college,  then we would purchase a house and get back to where we were before hand.  And then we will have a lot of money. We seriously have been planning to have a lot of money, so since we planned all this brokenness I'm very ready to be blessed with financial abundance. Because everything has went exactly how we planned it. I believe in the law of attraction I just know it will come.

About my history class... I'm in this class about the 60's and a first I was VERY frustrated because the class is taught by Steve Applebaum a Caucasian man who says the 60's was all about the music. And for me that didn't make any sense because to me the 60's were about equal rights and community. Though I was born in 71 I've always been interested in the 60's.  We didn't even start to learn about equal rights issues for 3 weeks.  But I'm happy now.  Our book is "The Portable Sixties Reader"  it's quite good and full of information.  We are in week 7 tomorrow and we have covered a lot of information. One thing that does frustrate me is that in the 60's the west coast farm workers primarily Latinos were fighting for equal rights and now its 40 years later and it is still going on.

We saw a great documentary about it, evidently made by Steve's friend I cannot seem to find a link when I find it I'll post it. It is quite good and covers a lot about the history of Chicanos and how they got to the point where they are now. According to the documentary Mexicans are related to the Native Americans then they were mixed with Spanish blood and are the new race of Mestizo.  I learned about this of course in grade school but it is nice to have a refresher.

Friday, February 1, 2013

The Musical Chums - this song Laurelhurst inspires me

The longer this song goes on it just keeps getting better and better.



This song inspires me. It's by a friend Brian Moodhe. I haven't seen him for a very long time. We were classmates. I think I saw him in a class in October 2012. We didn't greet each other and I was curious to see how he was, but there were so many people in that class that I wanted to catch up with I just missed him and then I think he dropped the class.

I knew that he used to be in a Metal Band - and he even gave me a cd but I'm not into Metal Anymore. I was into metal in about 1986 when I was a troubled teen. But not anymore.

Going to the Art Institute is really a trip because we are all going a hundred miles an hour trying to make our dreams come true and we look at each other like we are just classmates. But the truth is every one of us are Artists. We did not want to go to a normal college where you get a business degree, and we decided that an Art Degree might be the closest thing to what we want to do with our time/life.

The Art Institute costs probably 4-6 times as much as other colleges do. It is supposedly around the same price as an Ivy League College except it is easy to get into. However, I've noticed the only people that get past the first year have to be driven and artistic in some way. And the only people that make it to the end have to push themselves and push themselves. That might be true of any degree but I just know as a mother, artist, and college student, with health issues I often push myself to exhaustion.

I'm supposed to graduate in the next couple of terms and this video with Brian, who we had a disagreement the last time I talked to him but he reminded me with this video just how talented everyone is. It is amazing. I love this song and I think it has the potential to be big. If you love it find Brian Moodhe on facebook and tell him.