Friday, December 23, 2011

Stardom? where does it come from .....and... I love Queen Latifa

I was sitting and reading an article in Essence about Queen Latifa. I am not black but I had lots of air miles to use up and magazines were free, and I like to read a variety of stuff. Essence does a little bit of ... "we are different from other women" meaning black women face different issues. I think it is true, after about a year of reading the magazine I think its true. Black women have to fight even harder than white women for the same things. They want to support their men and their men have gotten this track record, very generally speaking here, of not staying with their women. Also black women have had to become tough. I am not certain that a chip on the shoulder is necessary, but again - generally speaking here, I can see how it has come about, its been a rough ride. I mean I've had a hard life too. I was brought up in poverty. I hope to never become that kind of tough that is cold and scary though, that happens to some women whose life has been too hard.

Honestly, I have to say, most of the time I have not wanted for much. Not to say I was not poor, I was very poor, but over all god has always come through. There were a few times in my childhood, teenage years, and when I lived in Mexico I had wants and needs that were not met - like I could not afford soap or food, or utilities. I have become a strong woman also.

I sat and I read about Queen Latifa. She is about 2 years older than me and she still has her parents. Such a lucky women. I've been an orphan since 1999 - technically speaking, since my father died and my mother has been severely mentally ill . I really don't have any family support. Her mother was an Art Teacher and her Father a Police man (a good one). She is really a great example of someone with a solid upbringing, but also with that element of risk that I believe is necessary to open your mind. There has to be some adventure in your life, I believe people should not be too safe, or let fears control them.

According to this article which I recommend. queen latifa that apparently you cannot read without a subscription, her brother was just that element that helped her have the right balance. And her slightly older brother was smart and adventurous. She had a perfect balance of personalities that left her able to absorb necessary components to be very well rounded. I read this well written article about her wondering why I am in the situation I am in. (moment of poor me - as an ophan - god has a plan) and I thought of this issue - I mean there is this quote (and I'm certain I'll mess it up a little) but a star is someone who rises or fights their way to the top. A leader is someone who helps the people around them rise to the top with them.

When I was 17 I had these creative energies and hardhsips brewing in my soul that I wanted to express, I had a burning desire to prove to the people that used to make fun of me that I AM special. One boyfriend told me it was a just a dream and I'd never be anything.

And then... then I got older and I had a few more issues and I systematically worked through all my burning issues and fears and lost that feeling that I wanted to rise to the top. I was content to accept my mission that on any given day as an Executive Assistant, wife, and Mother my personal challenge and mission was to uplift the people around me. Not career-wise or business-wise but on an interpersonal level of empathy and compassion that I saw a friend of mine do, by the name of Rebekah. Now rebekah had this way of intelligently and very aware exude kindness to people of any type. She had an issue with me once because I had a desire to shake things up. I had a desire in about 1997 to be in the face of people who held onto the idea of social restrictions too tightly, and I wanted to splat out obnoxious ideas to them to shake them up. And she thought that this concept was on the side of rude and less kind then was necessary to be a good person. I am not certain where I stand right now on this issue but part of me still wants to be a rock and roll Joan Jett crazy drinking party girl, who breaks boundaries, by proving that a woman can be a good person, live assertively, be a good friend, be honest, be promiscuous, be spiritual, be intelligent and a good business woman all at the same time.

That is what I am fighting for, I suppose I am a feminist of some kind. I still want to break boundaries. My favorite conversation topic is sex. but you know what? I have faith stronger than steel. I have compassion for every person. And My children love me, and my husband loves me, and I love myself. I'm always working on that but I do.

I just want to say that Queen Latifa ROCKS, and she may have had a foundation we do not all receive, but we can all be like her. We must be brave, and we may be fighting adversity. We can all be strong, and we can all be honest, and we can all be kind. Even if everyday you work at a 7/11 or just take care of your children. Our energies are like a pebble that is dropped into a pond, the ripples get bigger as they go out farther. You may just say one nice thing you were thinking but that energy affects a person who then carries it on to the next person, in a pay it forward fashion.

Merry Xmas - we all have something to give even if it doesn't feel like we are making a difference, we are. Whether you are Queen Latifa or a stay at home mom, or a factory worker, or a college student. We do make a difference...EVERY DAY.

Puerto Vallarta Girl in Portland