Friday, October 28, 2011

based on some input from class I re-edited the self portrait and DECIPHERED it below

There is several messages in this short film. There is the idea that I am searching for peace in a world of chaos. There is also the concept that your actions in this life carry through to your childrens lives, and that how we are will affect our children in their future so be careful how you are with your children. Also in the short - when I am grabbing toward beautiful things, which represents the search for inner peace and beauty, when you hear that my instructors tell me to think more critically it turns out I am reaching for a blackberry plant. ... there are lots of little clues and deeper meaning.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

confirmed.... Italian Mafia In Puerto Vallarta working in Time Shares

I don't want to mention the name of the resort I worked for in Mexico, for approximately 1 week. I was fired because I couldn't lie. I decided just now to google them to see the progress of their scam. No changes, hundreds of people, probably thousands of people were scammed.

But I saw this post by a new member of a forum that was discussing whether they would get their money back. It could very well be a tactic to make sure people don't fight for their money back.. who knows.. it scares me. ... (copied and pasted)

Antonio is the leader/god father. Johnathan is his son. Nico is his cousin.
Some of the other names you mentioned are his captains. He is American/Italian
Mafia and he is a sociopath, most likely a psychopath. Although he can be powerfully charming and convincing if it benefits him, he has no conscience, no morals, no principles, and is capable of most anything. All carry concealed weapons (and for good reason!) and body guards abound.

My advice is to stay away from the (name deleted) . If you knew the history and actions of these individuals, you would realize you are into something horrible. I know them better than most and if you knew what they have done to people and their money, you would be shocked.

10s of millions have been made and there will be nothing to show for it for the poor people who have invested and trusted in him.

I knew when I met the head guy that he seemed like a Mafia head.

So glad I didn't continue working for them, it was hard though.... they wanted to pay me 17,000 pesos per month. Its like about 1500 dollars a month. When most people with a college education in PV get like 5000 pesos a month. It was very cool. But it felt wrong, if they didn't fire me, I would have quit anyway.

Its just a trip to read it so plain as day. Makes me a little paranoid.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Thank you Blockbuster for staying around. The real world vs. eworld - Blockbuster comeback

I don't really follow the stock market but - this morning I googled a thought that ran through my head. Anyone out there switch back to Blockbuster after Netflix raised their prices...? I was getting bored with Netflix anyway, so we started another 4 week free trial with Blockbuster. And you know what, I bet if you walk into a Blockbuster this evening it will be just like I experienced,  it will be hopping just like it was 2002. On Sunday night, it was busy, there was even a line to get out with 2 cashiers working. (background) The last few times (before this) I went into Blockbuster it was D E A D.  I mean, no one else in the store quiet enough to take a nap, not even music going or a movie in the background. But now its busy again.

If you don't know already when you have a Blockbuster Online Account you get your movie in the mail and then you can also exchange your movies in the store for no fee, even for new releases. And the best thing is, Blockbuster always has movies before everyone else does. Well that is how it was in the past, I hope that stays the same with Dish owning them.

To be honest, there is something fun about getting the family into the car and excitedly talking about what movie you want and then wandering around the store and physically looking for that movie you want to go home and watch that night.  It's more exciting than putting a Netflix on your queue, or watching a Netflix movie you totally get into and having it stall at the precise moment when you are dying to know what happens next.   The other thing is, it's fun, every time you get a Blockbuster movie in the mail, you are motivated to watch it sooner, because you can go to the physical store and trade it in as soon as you are done.

At this time Blockbuster doesn't have full streaming capabilities .....yet, however, I guess since Dish Network bought them it is coming soon.  But as far as the Dish Network issue.... here is my issue with the whole thing, If you are paying, what ever exorbitant fees for Dish Network, why do you need Blockbuster?  However, Dish is smart to buy Blockbuster and get those contract commitment phobes out there, like me.  Note to Dish Network, if you offered a cheaper set up fee with no annual contract or I should say no 2 year contract, I would probably have Dish Network right now instead of cable. I don't like any contract that makes you pay a fee to cancel.  Just sayin.

This idea brings up a bigger issue. Sure I buy stuff online that I can't find easily or cheaply locally. Sometimes, I don't want to drive around to 5 stores looking for something I know I can find much cheaper on or ebay. And with my free student prime membership on Amazon,  I get free 2 day shipping.  I do love option that Amazon has offered me. However, I LOVE browsing a store like say ...Target for example and buying what I see in the clearance isle, or the newest fashions or what ever. If you need something specific and you cannot find it at your local Target, but you love Targets stuff, go online and search their website, often you can find it in the clearance area. They do charge shipping for items under... I think it's $50 orders, but its often still worth it,  I bought a cute bathing suit for my daughter online on Target, which was out of season at the local Target, for only $4.98 last week, and a very cute summer dress, also out of season at the local Target for $4.98.  but they charged me 5.98 shipping, still worth it. If I bought those 2 items at the local target, *(which they are out of season so it won't be available till next year) the price would have been about $35.

At one point it seemed our world was headed to a.... everyone stays home and works in their pajamas kind of world. But that has sort of gone full circle, it works for some people, especially people who move internationally and want the US dollars. And then it also seemed like everyone started moving to a online shopping community, but honestly, some peoples only option to get out of the house is to go shopping.

I finally think, I mean forsee, that our future is not only an E world, with online shopping, online movies, and telecommuting, but it is a well balanced world where we do go out and we do interact with the world.  So Blockbuster, I know you changed owners, but I just want to say, thank you for hanging in there Blockbuster, its like getting in touch with an old friend and realizing why haven't I seen you more?

Retailers out there, be savvy, you still have a market you just have to know how to wager it. Kudos dish.

PS. Netflix, why mess up a good thing, you really messed up with the split and rasing prices. . You had that wallmart mentality going for you... now your screwed.

Monday, October 17, 2011

After the freakout

So on Friday, I sort of got pissed about the whole thing but by the end of the day when I was bugging E at work he said he almost cut himself and I felt really bad.  And after that I felt over it. What happened was I had texted back and forth with the girl, in spanish basically telling her why she crossed the line. I was not upset with her when I found out about this thing, I was upset with my husband. But when she called him on his brothers phone all sneaky like, I was upset with her. I start the conversation out in a rather, immature manner. I sent her a text that said, "Say hi to your husband for me, is he cute? "  She responded by saying that she did not have a husband and that I had nothing to worry about etc etc. When I asked E about it he said that he didn't know why she said she did not have a husband, but she told him she did. I think maybe she "doesn't" have a husband now because she doesn't want me to tell him about the situation.

In other news, I spent the whole weekend with my family. We went to the park on Saturday, for a little bit, and yesterday we went swimming at the community center.  I did not focus on my homework enough. And that is what I must do right now, reading and writing, and planning future projects.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Does infidelity cause brain damage? My windshield is chipped, so to say. ....

So it's interesting the stages we go through of processing information.  I found out about the phone/text relationship that E established with this ex girlfriend from when he was 14 years old... She has 3 children and lives in Texas supposedly. I hope she really does live in Texas. Her phone number is a texas phone number, so I'm hoping she is still there.

And I took it well, and calm. And I surprisingly did not make a big deal about it. Which may be a bad sign.  I've always known this about myself.... when I freak out about stuff it is because I care, and when I am indifferent.. that is actually a bad sign.  At first I felt sort of indifferent. And a fews days have passed, and enrique's family is making jokes with him about how he got caught. And he is laughing about it.

I don't know if I mentioned it but that chick called my husband after I sent her a message, but here is the thing she called him on his brothers phone.... Here is her picture... Her name is Norma Samano. My little girl just said that she is pretty just now.. I saw some of her other pictures...This is the best of course.

I'm very mad at her for calling my husband after I told her I knew, and to stop contacting him. And he told me.

For some reason today, I guess my mind is mad... I felt like doing revenge... like doing the immature act of publicly sending her a message, but I resisted. And... well she isn't going to see this.. First off I don't even know if she speaks English. Anyway, as hard as I've been trying to be forgiving - I'm feeling petty and revengeful. And maybe this put a chip in my windshield and we all know, once its chipped usually it means you are going to have to replace the whole thing...

** update - does infidelity cause brain damage?  Or immaturity?  I swear I just texted this girl and told her " Say hi to your husband for me, is he cute?"  What is wrong with me?

Monday, October 10, 2011

Marriage has it's ups and downs photo post... soliciting relationship advice see the end of post

Within the first year....

I'm sort of down today... Ok I am not sort of down, i'm down...  Hubby and I have a long history. We actually met before my dad died. But unfortunately, E never met him.   Soooo Here we are in the first year.

Very close to when we first started seeing each other
still within the first year
This is 2002ish, just after we bought our  big house, and before he cut his hair.. sexy man. 

This is when before 2 years were up he went to mexico and I was so lost without him I drove down to central Mexico by myself... that's my car... I'm the one taking the photo of course. And this place where we were waiting, a make shift chiropractor office. those scare me...

this is just after we married. But because he went back to Mexico, he missed the deal that Clinton signed on December 20, 2000 that would have gotten us everything we wanted

Just after Junie was born....I was on Maternity Leave... 

Teal with Junie

Junie was under 2 by now I had quit my job I think.... This photo was at bagby hotsprings....  I love this... I know its risque... but it really was innocent..  My nose looks so much better when  I'm thinner.

Me pregnant with Jimi in 2006 9 month pregnant

When Jimi was born  - less than a year before we moved to mexico.

Just after we got to Puerto Vallarta...

One year there....

The Summer when I had already moved back but we went back for the summer. 

Well, the uploading feature is giving me problems -so I can't get as many posted as I wanted...... but what I am getting at is on 12/31/2011 it will have been 13 years since we first met and started seeing each other.  We had 2 years of rockiness and pretty smooth since then.

Over all its been very solid the whole time.. I hear 13 is a dificult year, but I am committed and I love him, and I am still attracted to him.  It's not easy, its not simple, I'm a hot blooded woman just like everyone else and I have people I feel attracted to, but with my marriage being strong I don't seem to have a problem keeping it in check. Here is the thing, Enrique added an ex girlfriend's sister to his facebook. I said "be careful" ,and "what are you going to do when the ex girlfriend adds you." He said it wouldn't be a problem.

Then she did of course add him, about a month ago. (I just found this out last night) Then I guess one way or another the ex girlfriend got his phone number and she lives in Texas, supposedly. And they started texting and talking on the phone... etc... So I figured that all out yesterday, because I saw her on his facebook, and I asked and (I know him VERY WELL AFTER 13 YEARS) and he lied right to my face and said that was not his ex. His ex was Nora not Norma... and I forced him to tell the truth, which little by little he did, but he would lie first until I would make him tell me the truth. And I kept offering just tell me everything, you know I know how to check up on the phone.

So I look up the texts and he was texting her like 3-8 times a day his side, and her back the same amount, and talking on the phone to her 1 to 3 times per week. And .... 

Well, what do I do? I find myself attracted to people here and there....  but I always, ALWAYS talk about my husband a lot and well, try to ignore it. 

Should I trust him? 

He say's he is really sorry, and he feels bad for not being honest and he says that he will not lie to me anymore. And I accepted my part in it. Maybe I have been focusing on my career tooo much... 

any advice anyone?

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Brookie Singing - with the Bed of Roses Song...

a friend of mine had a birthday party for her daughter yesterday and she said she wanted to have a music  vidoe on youtube singing it.... so I had her sing the song 4 times, really in formally... and put together this music video today....

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Does Simvastatin cause weight gain?

Since the stroke in May of 2010, my doctor put me on simvastatin a medicine which lowers cholesterol. Now this medicine did help to lower cholesterol and the other medicines have enabled me to live a normal life.  But I noticed that I gained 15+ lbs since I started college. Now I'm wondering if the whole time the weight gain was because of the Simvastatin.  I'm saying that because I've been off of it for about 3 weeks and I've lost 8 lbs without trying, I'm doing the exact same thing that I've been doing since I started taking it. Which is barely eating half the time.  So... does it cause weight gain?  I personally think it did. I'm hoping to get down to my normal weight of 160ish. Of course i'd like to be thinner, but I've been at a terribly high 180 to 182 for awhile now - so at this point my normal weight would be great, and I could not for the life of me figure out why I was gaining. I'm thinking now it must have been the Simvastatin.  If I google it all I can find is that there is no conclusive evidence that it causes weight gain. What a crock. I get the feeling that unless 50% or more of people have a certain reaction they say there is no conclusive evidence..

*** update/well, I'm not sure but I gained a few pounds back so maybe  it was just a coincidence... we will see, if my weight gradually goes lower and lower I will know.  I was also taking amlodipine with simvastatin so it is good I quit because there are new studies that show the combination is not good.

This little guy was born knowing how to charm.

And the thing is he doesn't have that evil personality that some charmers do when you turn your back. I know what your thinking... how would I know your his mom.  He really is a sweet boy. Who tells ladies, "Your beautiful". Everyone loves to hear that.  He is funny he tells jokes, and does a beat box.  He always says off the wall little jokes that crack us up. He is 5 years old and concerned that I have his hair done a certain way...  But not overly concerned. He makes requests to wear certain outfits because he wants to look handsome. This is a photo from a few months ago he wanted to wear that outfit, but I made him put the white t-shirt on too.

Well, I'm writing about Jimi today because he keeps telling me he can see the future. I kind of believe him, he is one of those sensitive, patient, and understanding children. The only issue is when he is in trouble he takes it really hard, and when he is scared he freaks out.  Such as, him being a picky eater, if I say he has to have 1 bite of something that he is going to like once he tries it, for example spagetti, he will lose his mind before he takes a bite and then say,   "Oh....its yummy." That is after there has been a huge climatic argument, crying, screaming,  about that same bite.

Anyway, so he keeps telling me he can see the future. He says it like this, "Mommy, do you know, I can not only see right here but I can see in the future too".  Sometimes he explains it and I think he actually means the past? But other times he might be seeing the future, because it seems so random what he says. One day I asked what he could see and he said, "You are at your school, by the bathrooms, talking to some people".
Another issue I wanted to express is that when I do my spiritual reading everday I have a deep sense of inner peace, and when I don't, I get all sorts of strange thoughts going through my head like guilt and fear.  What ever you celebrate for spirituality remember when you feel lost, sad, insecure, or fearful, the core of it is faith. I have to continually remind myself...
Today's prediction from Jimi, in the future we will have a bathroom that is very not the current bathroom, a different one, but it is very very dark.   I'm thinking, he's in there and the powers off?

Who knows, I love my children and then grow up so fast.  Teal is 19 in college and I rarely see him.  Make time. I have to remind myself, make time to play with them.


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Here is a trailer for a film my friend is working on

His name is Aaron NC and he put this together all by himself, it is utterly amazing!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Weird in P-Town Episode 4 - The Peculiarium - Fun News in Portland

Here is the most recent episode of my webshow.. I am very thankful that I have Tiffany Forni willing to work with me on this show. She is very beautiful and exciting and fun. Here is a link to1 story about her, if you google Tiffany Forni many stories and beautiful photos come up.

Anyway, we experienced some very strange audio problems on this shoot.  I think.... aliens, ghosts, or zombies were interfering  with our mic frequencies. :)

Anyway, this one is not for the faint of heart.... Its scary....

Sunday, October 2, 2011

na na na na na.. I have a best friend now.

So I've been back from Mexico 2 1/2  years- In 2007 right before I sold the big 5 bedroom 3 bath house,  I met a girl that lived across the street. She is a pretty little soft spoken friendly latina, who was raised in the US by an American Mother, very intelligent and articulate, and talks as fast or faster than I do.  We started becoming friends at the time, and then I moved to Mexico. Coincidentally her husband is from about 10 ish miles away from where my husband is from. (My husband is from a town outisde of Morelia, Michoacan called. El Alto de Aviles, which is outside a bigger town Called Albaro de Obregon. Accross the street from the Morelia Airport. Her husband is from Zinapecuaro about 10ish miles east of there)

Here is a google map

View Larger Map
While I was in Mexico I kept in touch with her loosely and then when I moved to my current apartment I moved like 1000 feet away from her house... and we have been visiting when ever I get the chance. Our children adore each other. We did water Zumba together last week, and we have been cultivating our friendship for a few months, and now... finally now... I feel like I have a best friend again. I have some other friends that I am getting to know too, but she is someone I can open up to 100% without feeling like I have to edit anything.

I've also been figuring out what friendships do not benefit me. I have one person that was supposed to be my friend, but continually ignores any requests I have, is not considerate to my feelings, blows up at me  alot.... So that's not happening anymore.

It's nice to have a best friend again. It feels really nurturing. Ever since Darcy died, I dont' have someone who I can fully confide in....

That's all for now...

Saturday, October 1, 2011

And I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Isn't it strange when you are pretty safe confiding  your life to the internet. It's weird because I probably could type the most intimate thoughts on here and my husband would never read this blog.

I love him in many ways on many days. I heard this song Recently that reminds me ....

but the sad thing is I can write what ever I want here and even though he knows about my blog he won't read my blog. 

It's not that he cant, he can read, he is lazy. He prefers reality tv and novellas, to learning. And this is actually something I've really been worrying about. When I started college he expressed to me a worry he has.. the idea that.... one person puts the other person through college, and when they are done they leave the person who put them through college.

I thought about this and ... my opinion is... it happens because the person in the relationship who is not in college doesn't learn new things and move forward. 

and that is what I am worried about right now... Yet... I drove 3100 miles to be with him..  and he did the same for me....  but can I find what I'm looking for?  Sometimes I feel like I am satisfied with my life wherever I am... And other times I feel like I keep so busy that maybe I am looking for something.