Friday, September 16, 2011

Spoiler Alert - Hard Candy the movie - and memories it brought back.

Ok, so I've been in finals, whew so glad that is over. And I've been doing ton's with my webshow I have a new host Tiffany Forni, she is beautiful and exciting.  But what I wanted to talk about today is this movie that tottally tripped me out last night.  Hard Candy, so if you want to see it don't read this.  Anyway the tag line is Teenager Hayley has her own reasons for spending time with an older man she met online.  My husband understandablly did not like this film because of how it seems Hayley castrates the man. While watching this I was so terrified she was going to become the victim. I did not want to see that.  I was actually very happy that she was appearing to be the sick one, but really its hard to say if she is that sick or not, that is a matter of opinion. What Hayley is, is a vigilante.

***this turned into a walk down memory lane and sort of went off subject but bear with me.

I'm not certain if I've written it here or not but,  I was a very promiscuous youth from 13 to 18, then I was in a very monogamous relationship from 18 to 27. While I was watching this I remembered several instances when older men tried to ... court me ??? I guess you would call it... when I was a teenager. I think only 1 time did I do anything with an older guy, which I've always regretted, but it was voluntary. Unlike most promiscuous teens I never...... ever.... did anything with a man without being in total agreement, and I was never involved, except that 1 exception of 1 time, with an older man. However, I can remember several stories of how older men acted interested in me, but thank god I never fell for it. I am and have always been a very strong and independent person. I think that is because I had responsibility at such a young age. That is why this movie is so interesting to me, it felt like it was me at first.... The movie starts with a person online chatting with someone and flirting but with heavy sexual undertones. Now that part does not remind me of me, I never did that in advance of meeting someone, and hey when I was a teenager, there wasn't even the internet yet, that came in my 20's.  So she goes and meets this guy this is Ellen Page from Juno, is made up to look so very 14 years old, and tomboy ish.  It was utterly disturbing. The guy she is meeting is a supposed photographer who is handsome. She teases him and gets him to take her home, but she really has to prod him to do so, he doesn't immediately take the bait though he seems like he wants to. There is some foreshadowing, she acts happy but they show nervous looks on her face. At the time you say to yourself. "No dont' do it, if your not comfortable don't do it!".... I was very scared at this point that the film was going to be a standard, she is a victim film and he was the crazy.  They get back to his house and she talks him into having some drinks. Now at this point...  I had to pause the movie to tell my husband about all these stories that I just happened to recall in that moment.

Wow it is so scary when I think about it and what was happening at the time, REAL LIFE 1984 ish The Green  River killer for info about the green river killer click here and scroll down to the section "The History of the Green River Killer"  The Green River Killer was killing girls from my area and where I was hanging out. And,I Even knew of a girl that was killed who my friend knew, that was evidently a prostitute her name was Wanda.   Wanda is not on this list, but in that story (the link above) it is evident they did not find all the victims. Ok. So thats setting the stage. It was the 80's I had big hair and spandex.

I was promiscuous, but I didn't mess around with an older guy until 1988 in Sacramento.  But I did hitchhike often.  My friend and I did get into cars with guys we'd never met, but usually they were about our age and were party'ers with long hair and looked like Poison, or how Motley Crew used to look.   We liked our hot rockers I tell you. We did meet alot of them.   And we partied constantly... Just like that popular song right now.. last Friday night.  Except we didn't' look like that, we were hot, and there was no internet.  We used to get kegs and take them everywhere, I had fakeID since I was like 14.
Oh my god I was watching that video, I had those ear rings. there is a girl in red, with hoop red ear rings, I had those when I was 14.  gosh I wish I had my year book.... from middle school.   Ok, now I'm really getting off topic. Oh my god is that Kenny G?   Wow, well, I usually never have time to watch videos.

Ok I'm going to list the memories that came up when I was watching that movie last night:
  • About 1984 I got a ride from a guy that drove me to the end of my street. I was like 13/14 ish and I remember having a really interesting conversation with him, but I thought it was very strange how he was so fascinated by me, he was like 34 or something and he thought I was the best thing ever, he said,  and he never tried to touch me but we had a long conversation, he was ok looking but I was not the slightest bit interested in a grown man. IF my dad knew he would have literally shot this man. At the time I had no idea what was really going on. He was nice and funny and wanted to continue to be "friends" but I never saw him again. I just said, "I gotta go" and went home, and never called him even though he gave me his phone number. 
  • 1984 I was hanging out in the wrong crowd with I think this tall friend I had named Joanna and me somehow met a coke dealer who had a red corvette. Anyway I vaguely remember being told the benefits of hanging out with this guy. But he was creepy, a drug addict/dealer. it was weird so I never saw him again, and I didn't even like coke anyway. 

  • Ok then there was this other bad influence I knew in 84/85 ish and she was hanging out right where the prostitutes that got killed from the green river killer were.
    Her brother was so cute, I had a crush on him for years. He looked like Gael Garcia Bernal, Yum!I saw Scott recently and he still looks good. But thank god my infatuation was over. I had an infatuation with Scott for years. I was hanging out with his sister, who had used meth amphetamines and I actually did it with her, my first time. But the way she would get money from this OLD guy named Harold. She would ask him for money, she told me she never did anything with him. Because I was against that, and I guess even with the crowd I was involved with I was still naive enough to believe that things just came free. I mean for nearly my entire life I would spontaneously get stuff for free  so  it seems plausible. I never met Harold face to face, I only heard about him. 
  • When I lived in Woodland California, a group of my friends all got a keg and we went to a concert in Sacramento. Before or after said concert we visited some friends house, which happened to be a guy that was about 32.  he had a 5 year old child, I was 16 at the time, and I remember him trying to give me what was basically a sales pitch on why I should be his girlfriend and come and be the step mother.   But I was polite and got out of there as soon as I could. There was no real pressure but still, what is wrong with these guys? 
  • I also remembered another time when I was about 16 and I had a different friend named Shelly Martinez, and she knew this coke dealer named Sparks, and we went to his house and he sort of gave me a sales pitch too, Like he liked me ... la dee da etc and why it would be good to be with him. He showed me his basement that was a marijuana growing operation that he dug under his house.
  • Then there was the time that I did the regrettable thing I mentioned earlier, I screwed around with the creepy neighbor when I lived in Sacramento. I've always regretted that, he was like 40, but that was the only time I actually did anything, and I it was consensual.  
  • My Senior year of high school, I worked at OHSU. This married guy named Don flirted with me constantly and gave me notes. At the time, I lived on my own, went to high school, drove a car, and was a file clerk 20 hours a week in the medical records department of the Oregon Health and Science medical records department. Everyday we would pick up these stacks of little printouts and pull the files. More than one time Don put little love notes into my stack.   I remember I even actually went to a concert one time  and held his hand while his wife was there. Oh my god, so scandalous. I have never been one to be the other woman, so I don't know what I was thinking, but that guy convinced me he was great. I never kissed him or anything. In retrospect he wasn't that great.
  • When I was 4 years old, my Dad's friend giving me a ride by myself. and he must have said something really bad, like touch my pee pee or something, because I remember telling him no and then when we got back I immediately told my dad. My dad was hot tempered and physically fought him and forbade him to ever come around our family again.
  • I also remember when I was maybe 3-4 years old the neighbor guy named Huey was babysitting us and he wanted me to touch his pee pee or he wanted to touch me. This guy was like 15 or 16 and babysitting us,  and as soon as my Dad and Mom came home from their date, I told my Dad what Huey had said. My Dad fist fought this teenager and the cops came and took my Dad away. 
That is all I can remember right now. But that is the story of someone who was never actually molested and someone who doesn't fit the victim profile. I guess this explains at least partially why one of my biggest fear is children being abused. I just can't handle the thought of it. 

Now back to the movie, so I am watching her playing with fire, thinking this movie is going to show her being abused, which if that happened I would probably have had to turn the movie off. I am far too sensitive, to these issues, and of these issues becoming buried into my sub-conscious to watch completely. But the story didn't go that way, it turned a corner, he made her a drink and she said "Well you know I have a rule, never to drink a  drink that was not made by yourself".. and she goes and makes a drink and then slips him a micky.  

Which reminds me of  another story that happened to me. 
  • It was 85/86 ish and Shelly and I met some guys who lived around the Hawthorne area. We went back to their house for the so called party. No one was there. It was one of those bait and switch things. and they served us some cheap champagne which I am certain had a micky in it. I started getting drunk way too fast, like after 1/2 of a glass of champagne.  I knew something was up so I made Shelly leave. I said "We gotta go NOW!" Shelly didn't want to leave but I dragged us out of there seeing double vision and everything and got us home. 
Back to the movie, she gives him a micky and you finally see who is really in charge here.   She tortures him. She searches his entire house, and does not find a single piece of porn, which very intelligently she says for a normal hetro sexual guy there should in the very least be some dvd's or some magazines. It's just the normal thing, but she didn't find anything.

Until finally she finds his safe and finds photos of terrible stuff, which you never actually see but it is represented as  horrific acts to  young girls, and  includes a girl that was missing. There were also photos of children being killed.  She tells him she is going to castrate him, she ices it and puts a clamp on it and then sets up a camera and puts in a video where she makes it look as if he is watching an actual surgery on the screen, but what he is actually watching is a video tape of a castration.  He doesn't realize until later, that she didn't cut it off. while there is this cat mouse game she keeps offering him this option to commit suicide. She finds his weakness, a woman he loved and was infatuated with, but didn't kill, and calls her to come over. And 2-3 times she gives him the option that he can kill himself and she will hide all the evidence of him being a monster. He keeps getting lose but she always gets him back in check again, with a stun gun. It's as if she has done this multiple times.   

In the end he does kill himself and of course she doesn't hide the evidence of the horrendous crimes, she just walks away. 

So I was unusually ok with what happened and my husband did not like the idea of the whole castration and all that of course, even though it didn't happen. My husband did agree that the guy deserved it.  The other thing was the character was very intelligent and articulate, similar to me, and I think the combination of the similarities of our characters, and the subject matter of castration made him very uncomfortable. 

So that is the spoiler alert and a look into some of my illicit past as a teenager.. What do you think about all this?