Monday, August 22, 2011

policemans hat

1989 - High Rocks - what was in my head

If only I had a blue hat, like him. That man over there. Seeming so powerful and awake, savage? He looked at me with pearcing eyes. My bikini was green and he thought he smelled alcohol on my breath. I want to take that blue hat away from him and throw it in the river.

present day:

Sometimes to this day I look at people and I try to guess who they are and what they are thinking. When the evening comes and the clouds are gone, I will look out the window and envision another world, another world for the taking, where I am free and run away. But would I really be happy? The grass is always greener, the key is spirituality.

This is me trying to write freely, no editor in my mind. I was 18 when a cop gave me a minor in possession because I looked HOT in my florescent green tiger striped bikini - it was 1989. In Clackamas county court it got dropped, I was prepared to fight it, but he didn't show up. That day the cop gave me a ticket he told me " If only I was alittle younger maybe we could go out on a date." Just another day in abuse of power.

Last night we were driving back from Seaside Oregon,

I read an article in Glamour 9/2011 issue, about there still being a 27% gap in salaries of women and men doing the same job. How can I go for my dreams but be seen as a good person. Women doing the exact same actions as men are still perceived negatively for going for their dreams.

Puerto Vallarta girl in Portland

Friday, August 19, 2011

When I started this blog - it was to connect me to people

At the time I was in Mexico and feeling very disconnected. Now its been a few years nearly 3 years. And I feel like I want to write anonymously again, but I can't. Last night I was laying in bed thinking about my life and how it is very essential that I do my spiritual practice, but I get so caught up with all the BS that I often forget, and I start feeling depleted. The Course in Miracles really helps me, but still I feel like I am missing something, which is the writing. Its like a strange catch 22. I have the blog to journal. but the journal isn't private anymore. And there is too much at stake to tell everything. but I still yearn to create, i still yearn to make music, to dance, to be sexy. I met my husband December 31, 1998, and now its nearly 13 years later, and I still want to have fun, and be crazy and do fun stuff. And I've been under way too much stress for a few weeks. Guess what else is freaky, a talented girl who just graduated from my school in the film department is getting a job working in a restaurant. You know what? I know too well the take the job to get by. Its a mistake. I think when you graduate college you shouldn't take jobs to get by you should take entry level jobs instead. That way at least you'll be in the right industry.

Well, I have some editing I have to do, and some homework. And I just helped my mom move from one facility to a nursing home.

busy busy busy.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Big news - Immigration wise

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Weird in P-town episode 3 to come soon

We had plans in July to film the robin hood festival but due to a family emergency it got cancelled. This month we are filming the Portland box car races. Saturday the 13th 10am at MT tabor. I'll get the episode done as soon as I can.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Howdy peeps

I've got lots going on, I'm enjoying my summer, my mom isn't doing too well, her pancreas has shriveled up and she has hardening of the arteries and is being moved to a nursing home. But I have a good friend that lives close to me and my I'm on number 42 of my course in miracles. I'm doing the affirmation that money comes to me easily and effortlessly. Still getting A's and B's and I'm currently in an environmental science class, Art history class, Production Planning class, and Reality Media class where we are filmimg dodgeball league.