Thursday, April 14, 2011

Lesson 4 - thoughts - and health insurance

So today is lesson 4, it "These thoughts do not mean anything. They are like the things I see in this room."

Description: it says start by just paying attention to your thoughts for 1 minute. Then if you come across unhappy thoughts use this idea to apply to them. But to label your thoughts good and bad is missing the point of the exercise. After you examine your thoughts you then can say "This thought about _______ does not mean anything it is like the things I see in the room".

My interpretation: Again it is trying to break down all the busyness that has us disconnected from god and from love and forgiveness. These lessons are still very young in the concepts, so you have to just let go (if you decide to do this) and relax... This should not be scary, I read somewhere. If it is very scary maybe you are not ready to do this. But even so paying attention to your thoughts is very important for everyone.

We should all be paying attention to the crap that goes through our heads.

Soooo yesterday I had my first shakeup. I was very elated by my experience of the morning and then in the afternoon I found out I lost health insurance. And that is unsettling because I take many medicines for hypertension, thyroid, arthritis, etc. So I found myself trying to use these exercises to calm myself. Like today I am still scrambling to find a prescription drug assistance program in the meantime. I figure as long as I get my prescriptions worked out everything will be fine. But it is scary. Not feeling secure to go to the doctor when you need to is very stressful.

So I tried to use these concepts and everything happens for a reason during my Scriptwriting class last night and you know what... I was very happy. I love that class and was able to let go the attachment I had to those feelings for a few hours.. But I woke up and felt stressed again about it. Thank god  for todays lesson - my thoughts don't mean anything.. :)  .... here's to trying. I am always trying to stay positive.

On another note...  I decided today to start posting a photo a day. This is a snapshot of my vans. Yes Vans. I am 40 years old and I bought vans. It all started when I was working on the feature film and the producer had these awesome shoes... and so yeah... I bought vans.  I know I am "trying to dress like a 20 year old" but oh well, I like it.  I'm not wearing mini skirts anymore... that was my thing up till like 37... I'm tooo fat now.

Ok. so lets see how todays lesson works  all this meaninglessness in my head.