Friday, April 15, 2011

I must adjust how I am doing this... #4 - 5

 Ok so I think what makes more sense is that I will talk about  how the previous days lesson affected me and then I will type up the current lesson with my interpretation.

So yesterday's lesson was "these thoughts don't mean anything."  Yesterday morning ... I was.... you know.... worrying about the health insurance issue and I had to finish watching Goodfellas for a class and do this thing called a "Plot Segmentation"  which basically just points out all the main turning points of a movie - I had taken 16 pages of notes and didn't have time to transcribe them.

I rushed downtown to meet the girls for lunch. We have just started this new thing, Thursday lunches with the girls, 4 of us Female Film Students hanging out. We are a rarity.  So while I was with one friend Kellie waiting for the other 2 friends at this place called Little Big Burger. (They give you thick tiny burgers... )Guess who comes in...? George this guy I worked with on my internship on the feature film I worked on in December.  Wow that was nice to see him! He's very cute.   Anyway, I was very happy to see him and then he left. The troupe is off to Puerto Rico soon. Sounds exotic... Wouldn't that be fun to travel around working on movies... Can't wait till the kids are bigger so I won't feel guilty about that.

Anyway so we 4 girls sit at the little table in the crowded tiny restaurant and chat. Sometimes we talk as a group.  Sometimes we talk in 2 groups, over the top of each other and with each other. We covered ton's of subjects in 40 minutes, but mostly Female Film Student Issues. We are a select breed you know. The farther I go in the program the less females there are. Anyway, I suppose I'm rambling.

Then I go to my Film Genre's class and we guess what... we watch movies and talk about them.. What could be cooler?

Then afterwards I stayed for a club. Yes, I'm 40 and I stayed for a club.   It was Improv. for Animators. Now you know I am not an Animator... so I'd been greedily looking at that club sign for MONTHS. Until I recently read the fine print... you don't HAVE to be an animator, all are welcome. So turned out Kellie went to that too. It was fun and well a little flat? The normal group wasn't there and the organizer was clearly disappointed that she was having trouble maintaining a group of regulars.  Just to give you a picture of what it is... we do activities like "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

First off I want to point out that WHEN I am doing the course in Miracle lessons... my life just comes alive with interesting and meaningful issues and situations.   Yesterday I'd been trying to remember the idea that my thoughts do not mean anything all day, especially when I would worry. So after I got home I had this realization that.... WHAT IF???? I lost my  health insurance because very soon I will not be in the poverty level and won't be able to qualify for poverty level health insurance anyway.....? How's that for ya?  It could be couldn't it?

I think often when something that we perceive as being negative happens we dive into our fears and forget what could the bigger picture really be here.   It could very well be that...

****Ok so todays lesson I waited until right this moment to read it. Lesson 5 - from the course in Miracles Student Lessons:

"'I am never upset for the reason I think'

Description: When you sense that you are feeling pain, fear, anger, worry depression, think 'I am never upset about ___ for the reason I think'. You can also say 'There are no small upsets.  They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind'.  Look into yourself for what ever is bothering you and repeat the main idea.  Do this for a minute or so - 3-4 times during the day."

My interpretation:  This is trying to get us to realize how much senseless fears and worry we go through everyday, we spend way too much energy worrying about useless stuff.

Be back tomorrow - PS the photo was from the tree by my apartments....They are everywhere right now.