Wednesday, April 13, 2011

365 day blog posts (lesson 2 & 3) - and daily stories (2 in one sorry its so long)

oK, SO THIS is inspired from The course in Miracles - Yesterday I wrote about lesson 1 but it was actually my lesson 2.... so here I will put what lessons 2 and 3 are so that we are on the same page and I will also try to post the little miracles that happen in my life at the same time.

Ok, lesson 2 for yesterday was "I have given everything I see in this room all the meaning that it has for me."

Description: Its the same as lesson one where you look around indiscriminately and repeat this to yourself. Be careful not to be compulsive about it just try to do it with a clear head.

My interpretation: This lesson is on the way to detaching you from your illogical attachments to everything we see. I did that lesson yesterday and I went to class and it was a good class.

Before the 2 week break between terms I was stressed freaking out and all sorts of stuff and now today I am feeling great. Classes seem to be going more positively and I think I got my groove back.

Though yesterday before I left for my Sound Design class I was having problems printing and I couldn't get my computer to do what I wanted it to do. so I'm freaking out, worried I'm going to be late and I grab everything and instead of bringing a dvd with my latest movie on it I brought the whole damn computer. I'm rushing downtown and I get to class exactly on time. There was an inclass exercize where I had to add sounds to a movie clip and I think I did well. It turned out I didn't even need the item I was freaking out about printing, nor the video that was on my laptop.

Isn't that just the way life is. I used to be a master at not resisting difficult things because usually they are happening for a reason. The REASON I couldn't print and the computer was slow was because I don't even need those materials until NEXT WEEK. When things are going really difficult maybe that is the universe's sign that it isn't meant to be the way you are doing it.

Ok so to get us up to date... todays lesson is #3.

"I do not understand anything I see in this room"

Description: This is done in the same way as the previous 2 the idea is to clear your past associations with things and to understand that I don't actually understand what I am seeing.

My interpretation: I think I know what I see and that I think I am looking at solid objects and real things... but really it is all like the Star Trek Hologram deck.

Today - I went to a counselling apointment. I have never actually been open to doing counselling. I tried once years ago but at the time it didn't feel like the psychologist had anythign to offer to me. But with the death of my friend who was also 1/2 of my (friend) emotional support system I decided I needed to dump out all the stress that was in my life.

You know what? I really recommend it. I mean I usually try not to dump all my stress on people because I think it just makes the stress carry onto them. And in truth I usually am the person who hears people problems. But to go and use an EAP and talk to someone who you don't know and there job is to just help you help yourself its kinda cool.

So i go there and I dump everything in a puking out story since my dad died, driving to mexico love lost, quitting my corporate job, having more children, selling the house, moving to mexico, immigration issues, more immigration issues with Canada, college, stress, dificulty making friends, having problems with small talk and telling people too much too soon.. you know is why I started blogging in the first place. 45 minutes of me just letting it all out and a couple tears. And we set another appointment and I walked out feeling a little bad for dumping on her but she said it's her job... and then I went into the trader joes and looked around and picked out some bananas and some apples and tortilla chips and then I go to pay and the guy could not read the apple lable and its said "pink Cripps" and the guy and I started joking that the cripps took over an apple orchard and they are out there in there t-shirts and guns spraypainting the trees...

We had a little laugh and I told him I'd never been to trader joes and he reached over and grabbed a peanut butter chocolate bunny and gave it to me...

there was a time when every single place I went I would get something free.

I am so getting my groove on...

I love the course in miracles.