Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Interesting study of Love, personal control, and mental Health

BACK STORY: Ok, so this isn't a real study its an observation I have made about my mother. (New readers:  My mother has a severe mental illness that is similiar to schizophrenia Its called bi-polar schizoid affective. I grew up without a traditional mother..... due to her heavy sleeping 16 hours a day and hospitalizations)

Here is a photo of my mother in 2006. At the time I came to see her about every 2 weeks - she actually lived in a studio apartment.  And she also had some control of her own life and was virbrant. I came to visit her once every month.  This is shortly after my little guy was born. She was delusional but generally in good health.

Abtout 10 months later I moved to Mexico and only saw her once a year when I came back to visit Oregon.

When I came to visit her the 2nd time I cried. She had lost a ton of weight and could only cry about delusional terror she experienced.  I'm sure there was some truth behind it, I couldn't imagine being institutionalized.  But she had reached a point where she was a danger to herself so had to be hospitalized. I had trusted my brother to visit her and care for her while I was away but he was busy with his family at the time and didn't do it.  That day in the hospital I was so very sad because she had really aged 20 years in 2 years. How is that possible?

 I lived in Mexico exactly 2 years and then 2 more months that summer. So at first when I moved back to the states I didn't see her very much.   And she was hospitalized and not allowed to go out.  Once summer was over I started college and simultaneiously became my mothers guardian. This was exactly 1 year ago.

For some insane reason, 2 days after I was officially her guardian the system immediatly moved her 2 hours away and out of the local mental health system.  So sad to say, even though I was here in the US and in our city, she was not here and I was only able to drive down to visit her 2 times in 6 months.   I made a bunch of phone calls about getting her moved back up here and I complained that it was unfair they made me the guardian and then moved her to Eugene.  But, I was told that there was nothing I could do ladee da da da.

Well, hmmm its funny how fast they don't want her down in Euguene, when she wasn't easy money.  4 months into it  she deteriorated  to violence and had to be hospitalized.  That was extremely unlike her, she had never ever been violent in all the years I have known her.

And coincidently, suddenly a place in Portland became available.  She is still in the same place now. Which I like by the way.  She came into this new facility giving all the staff the impression that she was a totally different person she is, she even hit a male nurse one time.  Then she started to have severe demensia and it was recognized that she was having neurological problems.


After several tests it was determined that she had  a Hematoma, or  collection of liquid (blood) in her brain.  I know its freaky, but bear with me. Here she is a week after her surgery.

When I was in Mexico I prayed that she would get better. I prayed so much. After the surgery I prayed that she would recover, better than normal that maybe this hematoma could be a miracle. The Dr. told me if that happened that WOULD be a miracle and was 99% unlikely. But as you know....  I believe in miracles.

 OBSERVATION - MENTAL HEALTH VS. CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE AND BEING LOVED BY YOUR FAMILY: 
Ok to the observation. I've been going to visit her nearly every week, she has developed some interesting delusions about where she lives (this behavior is her baseline). She believes there is some kind of issue with the lights where they are trying to control her brain so she keeps her head covered at all times.  The purple here is a visit about a month ago. Thank god she agreed to take off that purple thing when we went out.  She really is quite entertaining though with her outfits always so colorful and sometimes embarrassing but I've gotten used to it.

Ok so here is the interesting part.  There was a huge issue with her money.  To sum it all up, her payments got all tied up and wouldn't be released and I had to fight to get it back. By the time I got it back she had to spend a sum of money in 1 week (last week) or it would lower her monthly payments. Soooo we went out and bought her all sorts of things she wanted. New mattresses,memory foam pillow, TV, a small recliner, bedding, clothing, anti aging moisturizer, cosmetics AND took her out to eat a bunch of times.

 This was a few days after that at the IHOP  with my eldest son the 2 littles ones are there too.  My eldest son said she seemed normal. In reality she is still delusional  but she is thinking much clearer, and so much happier.  I saw her 5 times last week and its amazing. How amazing it is that with all that shopping and choosing what she wanted, and where she wanted to go (with not much resistance from me) And all that loving attention that she is bouncing back.  

ISN'T IT AMAZING WHAT LOVE CAN DO!  Money doesn't hurt either :)

Thank you god for answering my prayers. I am very happy she is doing better. 

PS  - Immigration people it was MY Mexican husband who taught me how to deal with my mom. He taught me to just go with what ever delusions she has and things go smoother, and taught me to not be embarrassed about it.  That has helped me so much.