Thursday, July 29, 2010

a good message from mary today

Taken from an email from Mary Morrissey

"There's a Chinese proverb that reads: if you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape 100 days of sorrow. I love this proverb and I know this is true.

Whatever might happen today that may push a button or cause us to feel reactive, let's practice bringing patience to that moment. Let’s bring compassion to that moment. From this new perspective we know that we're receiving 100 days with a much more positive outlook.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape 100 days of sorrow. Let’s practice patience today and enjoy a new, expanded, positive experience.

Many Blessings,

That is really a good message for me. With my high blood pressure I seem to explode faster than normal. I know if I practice this in the long run I feel better. Do you ever burst out angrily and then regret it later... I'm going to try to remember this.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

What to bring to mexico when you move.

I'm not in Mexico anymore. But, I know how hard it can get while you are there. Things are horrible when you don't have any money, or hardly any money and you are stuck in mexico, perhaps with serious medical problems like me. And especially if you don't have anyone to help you and no close friends.

People always ask "What is the most important thing to bring to mexico?" There are thousands of things that might be the most important thing to bring. But what I think is the most important is your faith in life. Faith that things will keep moving and that eventually everything will be ok.

If you have that in the US you have to have it in Mexico. Don't underestimate this. Because for us American Gals more often then not living in Mexico will test your faith.

Remember faith IS what you have when there is absolutely no reason to believe in anything. When everything points to the worst. When there is no verification in THIS WORLD that everything will be ok. Faith IS in that moment you STILL BELIEVE, everything will be good. And that you can find good at that time.

When I talk about this, my husband pleads with me, "sometimes you just can't do it! sometimes it just isn't possible"

And I reply with a light or a flashlight and I say look at the darkness, that is fear, and I shine the light on the darkness and I say, faith is the light. And you can't have both at the same time. When you lose faith that is when the fear comes in. Remember that, faith and fear cannot co-exist. They are opposites. You have to train your mind to have faith and catch yourself.

Perhaps these desperate times are there to teach us to enjoy our lives and live in the moment. Who knows, but the most important thing to have when you live in Mexico is this invisible thing... faith and with that you have hope.

Monday, July 19, 2010

One of those days

Do you ever have one of those days when everything FEELS emotional to you? It's not necessarily a bad day just that you FEEEL every emotion? Today is one of those days. My bp is a little high again, god knows why - when I am on like 8 medications. I hear a song and feel overwhelmed with emotion.

In my opinion it is a good thing. Usually, when I feel like this I get some great inspirations, and I usually feel compelled to act on them.

Those are the days when I remember my Dad. His photo fell out from somewhere. Do you ever do this....see signs that come from a special person you have lost. For me and my dad it is an old yellow pickup. A man thats style is like my dad. He just pops in my head.

He was my guardian, my protector, my confidant, I miss him so. he died 11 years ago and I can't wait to see him again. I hope I do someday. I hope I am like him. Actually I think I am like him in a way. but I hope I can get past his obstacles. He had dreams, like me, but he didn't bring them into fruition. I believe I can. I know I can! I can see it so clearly. I see the mansion in Santa Barbara. Its already designed.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

where I belong - a poem

whispering softly
the sounds of the window
the graceful white noise
that permeates
forget the business
to get to the real issue
heartfelt ambition
torn with the idea of fatal stillness
absolutely no hole in the universe
we are still here
coincidences abound
the sound is clear
faintly i hear it
back to my center
believing and praying
but something else
daily practice it calls
a curious call
faint as it is
I shall come to you
and get back to my center
where i belong

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Fare Nazi's - Portland's Transit Police and Abuse of Power

So we all know those people that take their job too seriously and because they are unhappy in their life they hold what ever power they have over other people to somehow make themselves feel better. I am certain the people that do this must ultimately feel worse in the end.

We used to have a mailman that went to the extreme with his little power he had. We had just moved into our first home we bought together. The previous renters were mad and took random things including the mail box. So we went to Home Depot and bought a shiny new one and mounted it on the house, because there was no post and we thought it was more convenient. Silly notion we had that the mailman would actually get out of his mail truck and walk the mail to the door. He didn't! He said we had to have the mailbox curbside. So we took that mailbox back and bought another one and mounted it in the same spot the old one had been on the fence. But the mailman still wouldn't deliver the mail because he said it had to be 5 feet farther out. So we buy a post and mix some crete and finally put in a mailbox in what appeared to be the middle of the gravel road. But yes he would finally deliver our mail. I'll never forget the conviction this man had, and his life or death serious attitude he had about that fucking mailbox.

We all experience these situations where people become memorable for the wrong reason. It sure makes it easier to pick out nice people with these people in the world. Maybe that is their purpose.

But today some this everyday abuse of power caught me off guard. I just don't understand the idea behind this, and rest assured I am going to make a stink about it, because it is seriously jacked up.

In Portland the commuter train has this honor system. You don't walk through turnstiles and put your subway coin in, you are supposed to buy your ticket and the transit authority provides some nice random inspections to see if you actually bought your fare.

This isn't really that big of a deal normally. Usually what happens - during the day with the business crowd is a few fare inspectors get on the train at opposite ends of the train and start asking for your ticket. Then if they encounter someone who hasn't paid they usually ask some questions, call it in, what ever and then get off at the next stop to write a ticket.

Today I was coming home from my very first night class since I've been at The Art Institute. I get 3 stops away from my stop and the Fare Nazi's get on. I use that description borrowed from a lady who pointed it out when this happened.

tonight -

A Fare Inspector gets on the train, yells in a militant angry voice "Everyone get your fare out" then he speaks in a demeaning way to each person and yells at anyone who is trying to get off, even if it was their stop.  He treats them as if they are eluding police. When he came towards me and I couldn't remember where I put my ticket for a moment and I could see him getting agitated. He was acting like it was a freakin drug bust. Finally,  I find my ticket and he dismisses me. So as they continued their militant exercise a guy gets on who doesn't have his fare and asks if he can borrow either mine or another girl I was chatting with's fare in case the guy comes back. I say no, because I figured if he comes back he will ask for mine again.  The train had already started to move and I was discussing how rude and militant the transit cops were being.

Welcome to Trimet, we hate you.

When I got to my stop I gave the guy my ticket. Then I got off the train.  Guess what? Right out the door there is a Uniformed POLICE officer, not tranist police but actual Portland POLICE and I see two people that got off before me and He says "Well, Well, Well, what do we have here?" in a sinister way. I mean we just freaking got off a train and he acts like we are drug smugglers? So I try to go around and he says Mam I'll need to see your ticket.

I say, "I just gave my ticket to that guy" pointing onto the train.

He says,"go get it" So I go onto the train, and grab my ticket out of the guys hands and the freakin train takes off. I had to go 20 blocks away from my stop.

What has this world come to?

#1, why are police doing this job?
#2, why are they treating people like thieves "Guilty before proven innocent?"

Thats it I'm calling in the big guns I'm complaining to the head of Trimet.

Note: posted later on - I did contact the Willamette week and gave an overview of the issue but when a reporter called me I flaked out from being busy, and never called back. I regret that but it does seem like it has gotten better since then.

Monday, July 12, 2010

We Are America » U.S. Citizen’s Wife Deported

check out this video about a mans wife who was deported. This is so many peoples story now.

We Are America » U.S. Citizen’s Wife Deported

Friday, July 2, 2010

Faux - Public Service announcement PVC and Pussy don't mix

Here is my latest finished project - I filmed this in like 45 minutes - but the editing took me a few months to get it together. (NOTE THIS IS THE UPDATED VIDEO AS OF OCTOBER 2010