Monday, May 31, 2010

Here is what a sleep study is like - for all you curious folk

I thought I'd type up really quick what my sleep study was like in case anyone was curious.

I arrived at the building at 9:30 pm waited in the lobby for a few minutes with a lady that is doing the sleep study for a 3rd time. She had heart problems and Sleep Apnea evidently. A sleep technician that is a graphic artist by day picked us up and took us each to a room that was basically like a single hotel room at your local Howard Johnson. There was a sleep number bed and a small bag with toiletries. I talked with the technician who was not a nurse by the way, but was an expert at the equipment. She had got into doing this line of work form her own sleep study. It was funny even the security officer said he did a sleep study.

Then I watched an introductory video explaining how everything would go, and I filled out a questionnaire. Next the sleep technician came in and had me try out different masks while connected to the sleep apnea machine.

Can you imagine me with that oh so sexy machine on every night. When I mentioned how attractive it is the tech said that people usually feel better during the day and therefore more sexy in that sense so it is worth it. We will see what happens. Anyway, so I liked one more similar to that, the smaller one made me feel like I was drowning. Then I took that off and sat still while the sleep technician attached around 100 wires to my body. each one that was on my scalp she had to scrape my scalp with what felt like a razor blade, and I had a cheerful conversation the whole time. She cleaned the area where she scraped with something and there was a stack of bloody qtips next to me, so unless it was bright red cleaning solution, I'm pretty sure that was blood. Not really sure how many wires she put on but it must have been literally 50 maybe more that checked for brain waves, eye movement, teeth grinding, limb movement, breathing, etc. etc. etc.

So finally the tech goes out and speaks to me through the speaker and asks me to move my eyes, and hold my breath, and move my limbs. then finally she comes, turns off the lights, says if I need anything just speak out and she will hear me. I hope I didn't fart, how embarrasing.

Then they watch me all night with an infrared camera and wake me up at 6:30 am I took a shower and tried to remove all the glue stuff out of my hair and voila. It was over.

illegal european immigrants!



I've been writing about alot of stuff that hasn't really jibbed with my blog reading list... but today I finally found a bunch of similar blogs. I used to be an American in Mexico and I've been stuck in that blog crowd, it is such a warm bunch of bloggers, but I've realized now that I am back in the US and more an more an activist for human rights, immigration reform and environmental issues, I need to broaden my blog explosure, because my message isn't getting out to the right demographic. Anyway, I love this video. It came from this blog: http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/ This is one point I've been writing about lately.

:)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Lots of interesting stuff today - Natural gas cars - Protest vigil about Arizona law

I had the sleep study done last night - the sleep technician was very talkative and informative somehow we drifted from parenting to environment to her car. She drives a Honda Natural Gas car and drives from Portland to Seattle for GET THIS $5.00 she says her husband commutes all month to work driving for $13.00 a month. I want to check into this a little more and maybe write a paper about it for my argumentation class. Here is a link to the car she drives. http://automobiles.honda.com/civic-gx/

Got home this morning with a vague memory of sleep talking and a bunch of glue in my hair from all the nogiles (sp?) .  The technician said I gave quite the performance.
Then we were off to the children's museum on the train. 

Then we were on our way to the vigil - below is part of a performance before the vigil and march - it was very funny.


There was the seduction of ICE and the Arizona law enforcement then Arpio gave the bride away.  And just as they were about to get married a guy with a sign that said community broke out in an ICE ICE  baby rap. It was very entertaining.   There were a few performers - folk music style talking about the issues.


Then we marched. And we chanted. At first we chanted in Spanish. But I truly think the issue isn't just about  Mexicans. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge supporter of Mexican immigration, legalizing illegal immigrants that are here to better their lives through working.  But this issue is about everyone. It is about one hate group trying to control the whole deal, they are starting with Arizona.
I have to say I am proud of myself. I do alot of advocating on the internet. I ALWAYS CONTACT MY LEGISLATORS. It's easy and it is something you can easily do from anywhere if you've got an internet connection, including Mexico or outside the country. Go to http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml if you need help with that. Anyway, this is a civil rights issue. This is about everyone, some people say it isn't only about immigration and civil rights its about giving the  police more power.

And so I liked it when we chanted in English too. That's all I'm saying.   I really enjoyed the experience too. However, there were a few socialist groups out there, and I'm not into that.  I'm not trying to start a new government party. I hate to say it but my battle is closer to home in my heart. People say we need to put our personal issues aside, but everything in this world is bias.  Most people just don't know what they don't know. I've lived in Mexico I've been around racist people, I've got personal immigration issues. Of course I'm going to want that first, its only natural. But I too want other issues that are important. Like the Dream act. I am for humanity, man. 

Yeah I said man. I guess that grass roots stuff is rubbing off. I liked marching today. We must get our voices heard. Write your legislator. stop being lazy. talk to each other, people have to start educating the people that are beliveing all the mis information. 

god bless, 
Puerto Vallarta Girl In Portland

Birthright Citizenship take that away and the native Americans will be alone here in the USA

Right now there is a lot of Hoopla about certain hate groups wanting to end birthright citizenship - I will say over and over, the same people saying this would be ruling their own families out of the picture using the same logic.


I got a good chuckle out of this:   As recent as 112 years ago the following language was used in immigration court of law in determination of someones immigration status. 

United States v. Wong Kim Ark, 169 U.S. 649 (1898)

The principal alternative system, jus sanguinis, used in most civil law European countries, grants citizenship by descent or blood -- that is, according to the citizenship of one's parents. This system obviously could not have operated in the United States at its inception, where, except for American Indians, the inhabitants were citizens of other countries.

This is congressional testimony in 1995, WALTER DELLINGER, Assistant Attorney General Writes: "A bill that would deny citizenship to children born in the United States to certain classes of alien parents is unconstitutional on its face.
       A constitutional amendment to restrict birthright citizenship, although not technically unlawful, would flatly contradict the Nation's constitutional history and constitutional traditions."-see: http://www.justice.gov/olc/deny.tes.31.htm#N_2_ scroll down to note NUMBER 9 to see what I am referencing. 

112 years ago is not really that long ago. 




Thursday, May 27, 2010

I have another idea for people that want to advocate

The same people that are pushing these Racist Arizona laws through are also starting to say they want to repeal civil rights amendments from 1964. I think we should rally not only Immigration Reform groups, and latino groups,  but also African American groups to join together to fight this together. This is ridiculous, absolutely absurd, we cannot let them get anywhere.

I'm extremely swamped right now with the sleep study - tomorrow, and classes, finals coming up, and my family,  but I will post more information about this soon.

Meanwhile check out "http://immigrationmexicanamerican.blogspot.com/  for more information about this. The lady that does this blog is very knowledgeable and has a former career doing research.

photography and photoshop class

Here are a few things I whipped up lately.

This is "the dance" taken purposefully out of focus - yet I think it turned out beautifully this piece is called a diptich.

This is "her expectations" done in photoshop



This is supposed to be my interpretation of the fable the tortoise and the hare

Tea Party Politics are not Christian

I am not a hard core religious person but I do believe what this person is talking about is a good point.   Racism is not christian, if you are interested in this topic take a look here.

http://blog.sojo.net/2010/05/27/how-christian-is-tea-party-libertarianism/

Immigration Reform Advocacy

Now days it is very easy to be an Immigration Reform Advocate. There are several ways you can do it. You sign up on a cell phone text list,  email list, or face book  and they send you links and texts when it is time to act. If you are passionate about this issue I suggest you do it. We must get our voices heard. This is a crucial time in our history and we must stand up and make our voices as loud as the anti's. We cannot let a few people with hate speak louder than millions of people with intentions for humanitarian rights.

Here are some groups that make it easy to be an advocate with your cell phone:
firm: http://standing-firm.com/2010/05/27/statement-by-firm-our-five-point-plan-for-comprehensive-immigration-reform/#more-5071 - text  "justice" to 69866

Reform Immigration for America: http://www.reformimmigrationforamerica.org/GWO/sms.html?gclid=CP2yqZCI86ECFRhZbQod7mwZlw

ON face book
Reform Immigration for America: http://www.facebook.com/reformimmigrationforamerica?v=app_2344061033#!/reformimmigrationforamerica?v=wall

Cuentame: http://www.facebook.com/reformimmigrationforamerica?v=app_2344061033#!/cuentame?ref=ts

by email/fax through email:

http://causaoregon.blogspot.com/ (oregon only)
http://www.americanfamiliesunited.org/
http://americasvoiceonline.org/

I know there are more and if you know more please post in the comments section

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Silent protest - we should all rise together and wear the flag in protest of Racism

This is to Everyone who is in the United States! I think all of us Pro Immigration, Dream Act, Family Unity, any person of color, anyone with a tan, anyone who is an immigrant, anyone who knows an immigrant, anyone with a heart - we should all rise up and wear a t-shirt with a flag. We need to remind everyone that all skin colors are American. That our civil rights protect us regardless of immigration status, that is how our Civil Rights are written. We are all patriots to this wonderful melting pot of a country - we ALL Belong here! I think we should Start Advertising the American Flag with this message.
The anti's try to act as if the American Flag is validating their negative hate, but to me, it is a symbol of the melting pot of America. From Obama to the white Americans In Arizona who supported the hate law, to the little girl recently shot and killed in Arizona by a drugged out racist - WE ARE ALL AMERICAN. We must stop this hate back and forth and unify.  I think we should start a movement and everyone for Humans - for Immigration - for families being unified - anyone who knows what it is like to move so you can work to feed your family - anyone who has a dream for a better life - anyone who can sympathize that some people risk their lives for that dream - anyone who wants the hate to stop - anyone who is caught in the middle of this and still loves the people on the other side of this issue - anyone who has kindness for people in their heart - anyone who wants to be like Jesus - anyone who thinks that people are fundamentally good - anyone who cares about the children and  wants a future for them with happiness and understanding - lets start a movement, lets wear t-shirts with flags on it and show that we are all united? We are all american in our heart!  Being American is not based on color!

Who's with me?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

A Moment of Clarity - Get busy living or I'll stay busy dying

Amidst weird sensations and dizziness.  Pains that come and go. Calls to the doctor and eating completely different and still only losing a total of 3 pounds. I became convinced I really am dying.  I've already started drafting letters to my children in my mind telling them how much I love them and my expectations for them to be good honest, hardworking people. Most of all my wish for them is to chose happiness and follow their heart. To keep faith even when there are no signs.

My shower started and I heard the music.  Right before I got in the shower I added a few songs from my collection on my phone to a playlist and played it for my shower.  Now days cell phones miraculously have your music collection on it and a tiny speaker that plays better than the ipods and mini speakers of 2005.  I was thinking if someone would have told me back in 1985 that in 25 years I could play all my music from my own individual cordless phone, I wouldn't have even been able to imagine it. Technology is such a wonderful and perplexing thing.   So I was there gently swaying to the music and feeling very sensual in the shower. The warm water running over my soapy body and my music playing.   It reminded me of the person I am.  I felt so alive in that moment and I realized I must get busy living or else I am just staying busy dying. When I feel fatigued I have a terrible time getting out of the house. I get a mental block about leaving the house sometimes.  But we know that if I get out I always feel better.

The main thing I realized is that I need to play more music. I always come alive with music. And I used to express myself through dance.  I don't have a stereo right now and that is a huge disadvantage. I left 2 of my stereo receivers in Mexico I had one with a tube in it from the 70's that my dads friend gave to me way back in the late 80's.  It has a rich sound and  I love and miss it. I always want to keep it. Also there is a newer technique one that is good. Anyway, I was not able to bring them back with me on the plane because they are heavy.

This is my vow. I will now concentrate on enjoying my moments (with music) dance more. And focus on living !

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Immigration Reform is going to pass

Here are my thoughts:

I believe that immigration reform is going to pass  for family unity. And I believe that this Arizona issue is the fuel on the fire that is going to propel it.  I believe in the law of attraction and that is the only choice I have to believe for my family . - any support I can help generate towards that goal is partly selfish to my own case. But I believe  in this for the country as a whole -  because we are a nation of immigrants.

Every American (that isn't 100% native american) has ancestors that were immigrants so everyone should support this. Anti's out there - stop segregating your family from this issue, imagine if it was your ancestors, grandparents, parents, great grandparents,  going through this same issue. If the law was passed that says children of Immigrants are not Citizens... you wouldn't even be here now. Don't let the hatred of racism skew the basic civil rights we have.

Government Conspiracy - as always - food-immigration-war contracts-what next?

Yesterday in my Argumentation and Research class we watched Food Inc. http://www.foodincmovie.com/about-the-film.php
One student that I actually enjoy talking to (it's hard to believe but I do), is very opinionated. God forbid Republican, and I think probably quite racist based on some of his comments.  I'm NOT saying I agree with him on ANY level (I DON'T) -  I have opposite views from him, (though I do try to see through peoples exteriors as a spiritual practice) and he is quite intelligent, his voice sounds exactly like Woody Harrelson, which is ironic because Woody is very liberal, anyway it is just amazing the things that come out of his mouth. He is rather brainwashed. I'm not sure how this happens to people....? Its as if some people buy everything they read in the general media. They just take what they were given and run with it.  Then on the other hand maybe those people think the same thing about me when I say, Government is founded on conspiracy.

Here is how yesterdays conversation went. We were watching the first part of Food, Inc.   It was sort of surprising, I found it surprising because it is a movie about how yet another facet of government, one so very intimate to every single american "Food" is controlled by the rich and powerful, for the financial gain of the rich and powerful. In other words, the people that regulate the laws and enforce laws, and create and audit the laws of FDA and food and agriculture related laws, are all former employees of the 4 most powerful food/grain/seed companies in the world.  My Woody Harrelson look(&sound)-a-like classmate was aghast. He said "Well.... thats just not right, that's a conflict of interest".

I had to chuckle to myself, because he is a military man and just last week told me that an american life is a more valuable life than people from other countries, and blah, North Korea,  blah blah Iraq, blah blah un civilized countries. And I said "It all depends your point of reference. If you are in North Korea and you asked them, they would probably say a North Korean life is more valuable to save, etc. etc.  Or how it is probably the same  in Mexico which I noticed as a minority living in Mexico so it is a revolutionary concept I know to us Americans. We are really so arrogant and we don't even know it. Anyway, point is- food, tobacco, immigration, war supply government contracts are all a cog in the huge government conspiracy of the rich who are controlling the government.

How could he really not realize that?

Monday, May 17, 2010

No drinking water is safe! - Paper for Argument and Research Final Draft

No drinking water is safe
Would you be shocked to hear that there is no 100% pure drinking water in the entire world?  What if I told you that all water on the planet Earth has chemicals, and harmful elements?  When I first started researching drinking water my first assumption was that if you go to a remote enough location such as a remote mountain top spring, you could find pure water and if you used a basic filtration system to take out diseases and microorganisms you would be left with 100% pure drinking water.  And then I started considering how Acid Rain works.  According  to the EPA’s What is Acid Rain?  the likelihood is that even in a remote area there will be chemicals in the water (EPA).  I intend to show in this paper that there is no 100% pure drinking water in the entire world.
 Perhaps you might respond that in the US the Environmental Protection Agency requires municipal water sources to filter out harmful chemicals.  I think you may be surprised to know how many chemicals are out in our environment.   According to The Toxicity Data Landscape for Environmental Chemicals  “The European Union’s Registration, Evaluation, and Authorization of Chemicals  released its first set of registered substances, which contains >140,000 entries” . The Journal also states that  in the US there are “in Excess of 75,000 chemicals, which is the estimated number in the Toxic Substances Control Act” Lastly it states that “In the United states and Canada an estimated 30,000 chemicals are in wide commercial use” (Richard Judson et al 685).             
According to the National Primary Drinking Water Regulations  the EPA only mandates removal of  88 contaminants from the US drinking water systems .  Of these 88 there are still allowable limits in parts per million which means vaguely 1 drop of the substance within an Olympic size swimming pool.  My point is these chemicals are mandated removed  yet they are still present in minuscule amounts.   Some of these toxic chemicals are the same chemicals water municipals use in waste water treatment and are cancer causing agents or have other adverse health effects (EPA 1-6).
You might respond to the presence of  these chemicals being in our drinking water it is much  better than the alternative of dying from viruses and bacterial infections, and I agree, but I think that the general public has a false sense of what our drinking water has in it. Water is the basis of mans survival, yet we have no idea of the effects of all the unknown chemicals that are undoubtedly in our drinking water.
Let’s look a little closer at chemicals and how they are identified and the probability of whether there really are unknown chemicals in our water system.  We have to first consider how chemicals are kept track of.   The EPA started the process by categorizing types of chemicals explained In The Toxicity Data Landscape for Environmental Chemicals  which shows that  there are approximately 23 categories of chemicals, and these chemicals can overlap into 1 or more category (Judson et. al. 688 table 1).  Then let’s consider what the current monitoring regulations are. “In 1977, the U.S. EPA published a rule to assemble and inventory of chemical substances currently in commerce. This inventory , commonly referred to as the TSCA Inventory “.. “The TSCA Inventory is composed of  approximately 85,000 chemical substances.”…  “Originally this inventory was updated on a 4 year cycle” but now it is updated on a “5 year cycle”. I read that and wondered why are they lowering standards for regulating chemicals. Then in the next paragraph I read that “Before 2006 the IUR list contained chemicals that were manufactured or distributed in the US in amounts in excess of 10,000 lbs. /year.  The 2006 IUR regulation requires manufactures and importers of certain chemical substances to report site and manufacturing information for chemicals manufactured or imported in amounts in excess of 25,000 lbs. /year at a single site.” What I don’t understand is why with the huge problems chemicals are causing to our environment why are regulations being loosened?  Then I read something else that seems particularly interesting to me it continues to say that “The full inventory, including both confidential and non confidential substances are maintained by US EPA and Chemical Abstracts service and is not available to the Public. “ What I am wondering is why is there a confidential list of chemicals that is not available to the public? Also on that page is something interesting that refers to our topic directly and it is The topic of chemicals as drinking water contaminants it says that “The U.S. EPA develops drinking water standards and identifies lists of potential drinking water contaminants because they are anticipated to occur in drinking water supplies and may have adverse health affects. “  This paragraph says that initially they evaluated “a list of” 6000 chemicals”. (Judson et. al 686-687)  If you  read the The Toxicity Data Landscape report and then take a look at the National Primary Drinking Water Regulations  (EPA 1-6)  and count the contaminates  you can ascertain using simple logic that there are over 140,000 chemicals in our environment  30,000 that are in common use by companies in the US. There are 6000 that the EPA decided might be a risk to the water system which “cause adverse health affects”, yet only 88 are tested for and mandated to be removed. It is painfully obvious and inevitable that our drinking water has more hazardous chemicals then we as a society are aware?
Christine Dell’Amore of National Geographic News writes “A team of researchers in Washington State has found traces of cooking spices and flavorings in the waters of Puget Sound ” … “University of Washington associate professor Richard Keil heads the Sound Citizen program”… “Of all the flavors trickling downstream, artificial vanilla dominates the sound, Keil said. For instance, the team found an average of about six milligrams of artificial vanilla per liter of water sampled.  The region's sewage runoff contains more than 14 milligrams of vanilla per liter. This would be like spiking an Olympic-size swimming pool with approximately ten 4-ounce (113.4-gram) bottles of artificial vanilla” (Dell’Amore).  After reading that I believe that they found that vanilla in the water because they specifically tested for it. Which goes to prove the high quantities of unknown chemicals in drinking water.  But as you can see when the EPA is only mandating removal of 88 types of contaminates, how do we really know that there are not thousands of hazardous chemicals in our drinking water. The answer is we don’t!  It is entirely possible if you remember the numbers 88 chemicals we test for out of over 140,000 documented non confidential chemicals.  
 You might hear all of this and then say to yourself,  ‘I’m just going to drink bottled water from now on’.  The truth is there are even less regulations on bottled water than there is on tap water.  Not only that but according to Devin Dwyer of ABC News that “In a study of 188 bottled water brands by the Environmental Working Group -- a nonprofit public health advocacy group -- only two brands listed specific water sources and treatment methods on their labels and offered a recent water quality test report on their Web sites. .. Jane Houlihan, an Environmental Working Group researcher says 25 percent of bottled waters are simply ‘tap water in a bottle’”(Dwyer) When it comes to bottled water there is also  the danger that the plastic releases BPA into the water. BPA is a chemical that affects your endocrine system, causes cancer, and fertility problems. Though experts are trying to link BPA to a particular type of plastic it seems evident that studies are not conclusive and we really have no way of knowing if  so called “safe” Plastics are actually safe. Even the EPA states in its brochure Bottled Water Basics “Neither EPA nor FDA certify Bottled water” (EPA 7)
 Fine you say, you will drink filtered tap water, but did you know in recent years, due to the growing costs of copper piping, building codes have changed  so that our drinking water is brought to us in PVC pipes.  PVC is one of the most toxic and carcinogenic plastics out there.  You say, oh you heard about that, that is why the PVC pipes are lined with another material.  But I pose the question of what happens when that material is broken or breaks down, then the water will have contact with PVC pipe.   Right now our water problems are at an epidemic. Humans have to have water to survive; this is a serious issue that requires serious action.  We may not see the effects of these chemicals immediately but as a society we need to start paying attention to what goes down the drain, and what goes into our water system. Contrary to popular belief there is no avoiding this issue.



Works Cited
Dell'Amore, Christine. "Cocaine, Spices, Hormones Found in Drinking Water." Daily Nature and Science News and Headlines | National Geographic News. National Geographic Magazine, 26 Feb. 2010. Web. 17 May 2010. .
Dwyer, Devin. "Bottled Water Better Than Tap Water? - ABC News." ABCNews.com - Breaking news, politics, online news, world news, feature stories, celebrity interviews and more - ABC News. ABC network, 8 July 2009. Web. 17 May 2010. .
Environmental Protection Agency. "Drinking Water Contaminants | Safewater| Water | US EPA." US Environmental Protection Agency. Version EPA 816-F-09-004. EPA, n.d. Web. 17 May 2010. .
Environmental Protection Agency. "Water Bottle Basics." EPA. Version 816-K-05-003. EPA, n.d. Web. 4 May 2010. .
Environmental Protection Agency. "What is Acid Rain? | Acid Rain | US EPA." US Environmental Protection Agency. EPA, 8 June 2007. Web. 17 May 2010. .
Judson, Richard, Ann Richard, Tala Henry, Todd Holderman, Philip Sayre, Shirlee Tan, Thomas Carpenter, Edwin Smith, David  Dix, Keith Houck, Matthew Martin, Robert Kavlock, and Vicki Dellarco. "The Toxicity Data Landscape for Environmental Chemicals." Environmental Health Perspectives 117.5 (2009): 685 - 695. Academic One File. Web. 4 May 2010.


MLA formatting by BibMe.org.


Saturday, May 15, 2010

This whole Arizona thing must eventually come out to be a blessing.

It just has got to. I don't know if I am overly emotional right now but this whole division of people who are for or against immigration is just breaking my heart. What I don't understand is that 99 percent of all Americans are born from immigrants. Even if it was a few hundred years ago there are immigrants in your family. Whether you are brown or pale truth is, unless you are not 100% pure native american your family at some point immigrated to the US.

Most people have no idea how hard it is to come to the US. I was on the train the other day, and a lady was chatting away and somehow the issue of Immigration came up. She was saying how her mother was a deputy in Washington county, Oregon and that it is really sad how if they pick up someone for a minor offense and they are hispanic AND alot of people just never got around to doing their paperwork and even if they have 5 kids and have been here 27 years, even if they don't have any famiily in Mexico they are still deported.

I appreciated her caring tone, but she made it sound like that same old story.... people say, get at the back of the line don't sneak in. WHAT FRIGGIN LINE? for mexicans it is vitually impossible to immigrate legally. and up until about 2008 there were plenty of jobs for everyone.... anyway... that's wants been bouncing around in my brain.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I never wanted to be a Poor me

Somehow since 5/4/2010 when I found out I had 4-5 strokes in the last few years, I've become what I've NEVER WANTED TO BE. a poor me. I hope to come out of this soon. I am coming out of it little by little. First off my poor me is I'm gonna die. Then it is I can't eat anything I want. I am on a very strict low cholesterol diet, and low sodium diet. Plus I'm taking SIX medications. ok... poor me. I was a little upset about that. And the experience of all this poor me, gives me the feeling like I want to get drunk. But I don't of course because per the pharmacist I shouldn't drink. I haven't drank much for years and years, like once a month, or maybe get actually drunk maybe 1 time per year. Then I started looking up marijuana. I rarely smoke marijuana but when I used to have terrible PMS it would help me. I did a little research, not too much, and my initial findings are marijuana could cause a stroke. So this is when the poor me peaked. On Monday I went to the sleep doctor and the sleep doctor told me no tv for 1 hour before bed and no computer for 3 hours before bed, this is in the event that my sleep disorder is causing me blood pressure problems. That was the topper. Basically I have lost all my freedom of choice.

#1 before this happened I was already eating more healthy - not perfect but lots of veggies and lots of whole foods - but now I've lost the option to eat pizza and hamburgers
#2 I always had the option that I could release my stress by drinking. I don't use this option, but believe me, I always know it is there. Just in case. so I lost that.
#3 that goes ditto for marijuana
#4 now I can't even go to sleep when I want? I'm supposed to sleep everynight at the same time - that is too freaking much!

These restrictions got me questioning the big picture.

die/ or live depressed?

Of course I want to live but wtf?

and hey, wouldn't anyone be pissed off about this?

But I'm back in school this week and getting a grip on everything.

don't feel sorry for me though. I seriously DO NOT LIKE BEING A POOR ME. pLEASE ONLY JOKES, NO PITY HERE k?

As Arizona - signs another racist law to NOT TEACH mexican ethnic studies - the city of LA Boycotts Arizona

BELOW IS THE ARTICLE BUT FOR A QUICK INTRO SEE this blog (CNN VIDEO): http://immigrationmexicanamerican.blogspot.com/2010/05/racist-arizona-passes-law-to-ban-cesar.html


HERE IS ANOTHER ARTICLE ABOUT IT
Ariz. governor now targets ethnic studies
By Valerie Richardson
The Washington Times, May 13, 2010
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/may/13/arizona-governor-now-targets-ethnic-studies/

Arizona Republican Gov. Jan Brewer, already under fire for approving the nation's toughest illegal immigration law, has again run afoul of liberal activists, signing a bill Wednesday that targets ethnic studies programs in schools that critics say unfairly demean white Americans.

The law, which takes effect Dec. 31, would prohibit courses that promote resentment toward one race; that are designed for students of one race; that promote ethnic solidarity 'instead of treating students as individuals;' and that encourage 'the overthrow of the United States government.'

The proposal was the brainchild of Tom Horne, Arizona state superintendent of public instruction, who has long battled with the Tucson Unified School District over its Mexican-American studies program, contending that it promotes 'ethnic chauvinism' through the use of textbooks such as 'Oppressed America' and at least one guest speaker who said, 'Republicans hate Latinos.'

Those who contend the law promotes racism are missing the point, Mr. Horne said.

'It's the opposite of racism,' said the Republican, who is running for state attorney general. 'We're trying to get schools to treat students as individuals and not on the basis of race.'

Still, reaction to the law has been swift. No less than a United Nations human rights panel issued a statement the day before the law was signed, warning that it violated Arizona's obligation to 'promote a social and cultural environment conducive to respect for ethnic and cultural diversity.'

Supporters of the ethnic studies programs have argued that enrolled students perform better than their peers who don't participate in the program. Two Oregon State University researchers released a statement Tuesday saying that the law 'could negatively affect students' academic achievement and reverse academic gains made over the last several years.'

Sean Arce, director of the Mexican-American studies department in the Tucson school district, said the district's ethnic studies program conforms to the law's guidelines.

'In no way do we teach the resentment of any particular group of people,' Mr. Arce told the Arizona Republic newspaper.

The new law comes amid growing aftershocks from the state's new illegal immigration statute, which gives state and local police the right to arrest anyone reasonably suspected of being in the country illegally.

Los Angeles on Wednesday became the largest municipality to date to announce an economic boycott of Arizona over the law.

The City Council voted 13-1 to bar Los Angeles from conducting business with Arizona unless the law is repealed. Critics say the law will promote racial profiling, a charge Mrs. Brewer has dismissed as 'just pure rhetoric.'

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has said he would approve the boycott, which is estimated to affect investments and contracts worth as much as $52 million.

As for the ethnic studies law, Mr. Horne said, it does nothing to prevent schools from teaching about students' cultures.

'We should learn about different heritages and languages, and I'm all for that,' he said. 'I'm just opposed to dividing students up and only teaching them about their own.'

Among the Arizona schools that could be affected by the law are three charter schools run by Chicanos Por La Causa, a nonprofit group that bills itself as the state's largest community development corporation.

But spokeswoman Amanda Roberson said she doubted the schools would be in danger of losing funding. Schools that violate the law would lose a share of state education funds.

'We don't think right now it's going to apply to us,' said Ms. Roberson. 'The language is very extreme - I mean, it talks about overthrowing the government - and we don't think it applies to us.'

Mr. Horne has argued that the curriculum prods Hispanic students into believing they are oppressed by whites. He pointed to a 2006 talk by Hispanic activist Dolores Huerta, who told students, 'Republicans hate Latinos.'

He also cited the use of textbooks such as 'Oppressed America,' which quotes a Hispanic activist saying that Chicanos should 'kill the gringo.' Another textbook, he says, 'The Mexican American Heritage,' promotes the idea of Aztlan, the five Southwestern states that activists say should be returned to Mexican control.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

signs that the Arizona Boycott is starting to affect the bottom line :)

Arizona Boycotts Could Hurt State's Bond Rating, Moody's Says
Bloomberg News, May 10, 2010
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/05/10/bloomberg1376-L282ZJ07SXKX-3.DTL

Arizona, where a new law aimed at cracking down on illegal immigration has drawn boycott threats, could see its bond rating hurt if protests harm the tourism industry, Moody's Investors Service said.

Travel-related spending produced $1 billion in state and local tax revenue for Arizona in 2008, Moody's said in its weekly outlook published today. Nineteen conferences have been canceled so far in Arizona as a result of the legislation adopted last month, Moody's said. While the cancellations will cost the state only about $6 million in revenue, Arizona could be hurt if the trend continues, the credit rating company said.

'Preliminary response to the immigration legislation has already had some impact on the state's tourism/travel sector,' Maria Coritsidis, a Moody's analyst, wrote in the report. 'A serious weakening of this important sector, however, could have a negative impact on the state's credit, as it could lead to further weakening of state finances that have already been negatively affected by the recession.'

Governor Jan Brewer signed legislation in April that makes it a state crime to be in the U.S. illegally and requires local police to determine the immigration status of anyone suspected of being in the country without proper documentation.

Arizona's credit rating is Aa2, Moody's third-highest rating.

Oregon Marches - immigration May Day 2010 (Music Video)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Is any Drinking water safe? (first draft)

Below is what i was working on when I had the so "alergic reaction"

I think this would give anyone a stroke.   Its all true and the purpose of this is to state a problem so that in another paper I can state a solution but damn. This is freaky! (NOTE - THERE ARE EXTENSIVE FOOTNOTES BUT THEY DIDN'T WANT TO COPY TO HTML CORRECTLY)

My paper for Argumentation and Research at the Art Institute of Portland
I am a first year Digital Film and Video Student
May 1, 2010
Is any Drinking water safe?

Would you be shocked to hear that there is no 100% pure drinking water in the entire world? What if I told you that all water on the planet Earth has chemicals, and harmful elements? When I first started researching drinking water my first assumption was that if you go to a remote enough location such as a remote mountain top spring, for example that you could find pure water and if you used a basic filtration system to take out diseases and microorganisms you would be fine. However, if you have any idea how acid rain works , you will find that even remote mountain top water will have the probability of dangerous chemicals in it.

Perhaps you might respond that the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) requires municipal water sources to filter out harmful chemicals. I think you may be surprised to know that out of over 140,000 documented chemicals UK and 75,000 documented Toxic Substances – US, as well as the EPA’S estimate that there are 30,000 chemicals in wide commercial use ; the EPA only mandates removal of 88 contaminants from the US drinking water systems. There are another 15 recommended removed contaminates , but these are non-enforceable and only recommended by the EPA. Of these 88 chemicals that the EPA requires removed there are still allowable limits in parts per million that in laymans terms means vaguely 1 drop of the substance within an Olympic size swimming pool. My point is these chemicals are mandated removed yet they are still present in minuscule amounts. Would you be surprised to know that the same chemicals that water municipals use in waste water treatment are cancer causing agents or have other adverse health effects . You might respond to these chemicals being in our drinking water that those chemicals are better than the alternatives of dying from viruses and bacterial infections, and I agree, but I think the general public has a false sense of what our drinking water has in it. And a too vague idea of how we have affected our own drinking water which is the basis of mans survival as well as no idea of the effects of all the unknown chemicals that are undoubtedly in our drinking water.

Let’s look a little closer at Chemicals and how they are identified and the probability of whether there really are unknown chemicals in our water system that we are not testing for. To do that we have to first consider how chemicals are kept track of and how chemicals are considered dangerous to humans or not. The EPA has to start by categorizing types of chemicals, there are approximately 23 types of categories of chemicals, and these chemicals can overlap into 1 or more category. Then let’s consider what the current monitoring regulations are. In 1977 the EPA developed a chemical reporting rule called the IUR This inventory is composed of approximately 85,000 chemical substances. Originally this inventory was updated on a 4 year cycle but now is updated on a 5 year cycle. I read that and wondered why are they lowering standards for regulating chemicals. Then in the next paragraph I read that “Before 2006 the IUR list contained chemicals that were manufactured or distributed in the US in amounts in excess of 10,000 lbs. /year. The 2006 IUR regulation requires manufactures and importers of certain chemical substances to report site and manufacturing information for chemicals manufactured or imported in amounts in excess of 25,000 lb at a single site. “ What I don’t understand is why with the huge problems to our environment why are regulations being loosened. Then I read something else that seems particularly interesting to me it continues to say that “The full inventory, including both confidential and non confidential substances are maintained by US EPA and Chemical Abstracts service and is not available to the Public. “ What I am wondering is why is there a confidential list of chemicals that is not available to the public? Also on that page is something interesting that refers to our topic directly and it is The topic of chemicals as drinking water contaminants it says that “The U.S. EPA develops drinking water standards and identifies lists of potential drinking water contaminants because they are anticipated to occur in drinking water supplies and may have adverse health affects. This says that the EPA created a list of 6000 chemicals that could possibly cause adverse health effects which could be in our drinking water, they prioritized it to down to 528 chemicals that they did testing on and then they came up with the 88 contaminates that are currently screened for. So using simple logic there are over 140,000 chemicals, 30,000 that are in common use by companies, 6000 that the EPA decided might be a risk to the water system, but only 528 that the EPA actually tested for adverse health effects and only 88 that are being mandated to be removed. Do you think it is possible that all of our drinking water has more hazardous chemicals then we as a society are aware?

Here is an example of that logic check out this article from National Geographic Magazine - Would you be surprised to find out that “A team of researchers in Washington State has found traces of cocaine and cooking spices and flavorings in the waters of Puget Sound. ” … “Of all the flavors trickling downstream, artificial vanilla dominates the sound, Keil said. For instance, the team found an average of about six milligrams of artificial vanilla per liter of water sampled. The region's sewage runoff contains more than 14 milligrams of vanilla per liter. This would be like spiking an Olympic-size swimming pool with approximately ten 4-ounce (113.4-gram) bottles of artificial vanilla.” After reading that I believe that they found that vanilla in the water because they tested for it specifically. But as you can see when the EPA is only testing for 88 types of contaminates, how do we really know that there are not thousands of hazardous chemicals we are not aware that cause health problems present in our drinking water. The answer is we don’t! It is entirely possible remember the ratio 88/140,000 88 we test for of over 140,000 documented non confidential chemicals.

You might hear all of this and then say, well, that’s it, that’s why I drink bottled water. But would you really say that if you knew that there are less regulations on bottled water than there is on tap water . Not only that but according to the ABC Network article referenced at the end of this article that when 188 of bottled water brands were tested only 2 brands listed their sources for water. All bottled water could very well be the same water you get from your tap. In addition to this there is the added dangers of the chemicals that plastics release into the water. The chemical is known as BPA and affects your endocrine system, causes cancer, and fertility problems. Though experts are trying to link BPA to a particular type of plastic it seems evident that studies are not conclusive and who knows if so called “Safe” Plastics are actually safe.

Fine you say, you will drink filtered tap water, but did you know in recent years, due to the growing costs of copper piping building codes have changed so that our drinking water is brought to us in PVC pipes. PVC is one of the most toxic and carcinogenic plastics out there. You say, oh you heard about that, that is why the PVC pipes are lined with another material. What happens when that material is broken or breaks down, then the water will have contact with PVC pipe. It appears that our water problems are at an epidemic. Humans have to have water to survive, this is a serious issue that requires serious action. We may not see the effects of these chemicals immediately but as a society we need to start paying attention to what goes down the drain, and what goes into our water system, because contrary to popular belief there is no avoiding this issue.


FOOT NOTES: THEY WOULDN'T COPY CORRECTLY - BUT HERE THEY ARE:



REACH 2008). Environmental Health Perspectives – Volume 117, Number 5, May 2009, The Toxicity Data Landscape for Environmental Chemicals
Page 685. “The size of the Chemical Universe in excess of 75,000 chemicals , which is the estimated number in the Toxic Substances Control act, (TSCA 1976) inventory (US EPA2004b)”. Environmental Health Perspectives – Volume 117, Number 5, May 2009, The Toxicity Data Landscape for Environmental Chemicals
Page 685, “In the United States and Canada, an estimated 30,000 chemicals are in wide commercial use, based on U.S. EPA and Environment Canada Data (Muir and Howard 2006). Environmental Health Perspectives – Volume 117, Number 5, May 2009, The Toxicity Data Landscape for Environmental Chemicals
Page 1-4, US Environmental Protection Agency, National Primary Drinking Water Regulations, EPA Document number 816-F-09-004 May 2009 http://www.epa.gov/safewater/consumer/pdf/mcl.pdf
Page 6, US Environmental Protection Agency, National Primary Drinking Water Regulations, EPA Document number 816-F-09-004 May 2009 http://www.epa.gov/safewater/consumer/pdf/mcl.pdf
See Acrylamide, Bromatc, Chloramincs (asC12), Chlorine (asC12), Chlorine diaoxide (C1O2), Floride, US Environmental Protection Agency, National Primary Drinking Water Regulations, Page 1-4, , EPA Document number 816-F-09-004 May 2009 http://www.epa.gov/safewater/consumer/pdf/mcl.pdf
Page 688 Table 1. Environmental Health Perspectives – Volume 117, Number 5, May 2009, The Toxicity Data Landscape for Environmental Chemicals
Page 686-687, The TSCA Inventory and Inventory Update reporting (IUR) Environmental Health Perspectives – Volume 117, Number 5, May 2009, The Toxicity Data Landscape for Environmental Chemicals
Cocaine, Spices, Hormones found in drinking water, by Christine Dell'Amore, for National Geographic News, Published February 26, 2010 - http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/11/091112-drinking-water-cocaine/
See water Wars: Is Bottled Water Better Than Tap? By Devin Dwyer, July 8, 2009. http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Health/story?id=8031551&page=1
Brochure from the EPA – Water Health Series – http://www.epa.gov/safewater/faq/pdfs/fs_healthseries_bottlewater.pdf
CNN article about how the FDA has little authority to regulate bottled water “Is your bottled water safe?” by: Kate Stinchfield http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/07/13/bottled.water.safety/index.html
Plastic (Not) Fantastic: Food Containers Leach a Potentiall Harmful Chemical, February 19, 2008. http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=plastic-not-fantastic-with-bisphenol-a
Harvard study back bottle concern, says plastic used leaches bisphenal A, By Beth Daley, Globe Staff, May 22, 2009 http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/green/articles/2009/05/22/harvard_study_backs_bottle_concern/

the secret - email for the day and "Are compassion and determination opposites?"

Every single day, no matter who you meet in the day - friends, family, work colleagues, strangers - give joy to them. Give a smile or a compliment or kind words or kind actions, but give joy! Do your best to make sure that every single person you meet has a better day because they saw you. This might sound like it is not connected with you and your life, but believe me it is inseparably connected through cosmic law.
As you give joy to every person you meet, you bring joy to YOU. The more you can give joy to others, the more you will bring the joy back to you.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret... bringing joy to billions

When I worked in an office I used to make this statement my biggest goal. I was an Executive Assistant and I made it my life's work to try to brighten other peoples day's. I think I was successful most of the time.  Somehow I've lost that. When I was in Mexico I lost it, and I just haven't gotten it back.

Its weird how moving to Mexico changed me and my husband.  My husband actually lost his determination in Mexico - but that is all about the country, everything is harder there and he feels like there are no opportunities. He feels like in the US people take him seriously and respect him for his mad construction skills.  In Mexico I seemed to have more determination than I had before we moved, but with my determination I lost my ability to connect with people. I'm trying to get it back now with what happened. My daily compassion for every one and everything.  But I have lost my determination a little. It comes back in waves but then goes back out to sea.

Are compassion and determination opposites? Can't they coincide?

Saturday, May 8, 2010

I've lost something

I'm not exactly sure what it is...

my edge? my will to fight?

my barrier?

I cry often, reading something beautiful - http://heatherinparadise.com/2010/05/06/do-you-realize/



Hearing a song - like esta soledad (above)

My children hugging me saying "your the best mommy ever".

A movie - like Factory girl - about Edie Sedgewick and how Andy Warhol exploited her. A trusting and in the moment person who came to a drug addicted death at age 28.

I'm confused right now.   Not the confused like I"m wandering around my house and can't figure out where the bathroom is.  I'm confused like "what the fuck am I doing?"  I want to be a student. I want to make film. I want to help the earth. Oh and babies are looking really good to me, and kindness is looking really good to me. I want to be a kind person.  I want to  be a warm person.  How do you become a warm person? I think desire helps. One week ago today I had the  what I thought was ........"Alergic reaction"  I'm basically fully recovered other than the small issues listed above.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Harsh Reality

I sat there in the passenger’s seat and I cried. I held my mouth as best I could but it was still that firm involuntarily trembling pout when you want to sob and your world has fallen. We were coming back from the hospital.  I had went in with weird symptoms last Saturday and I thought that I would be leaving the emergency room with a Benadryl shot. Instead I was leaving 2 days later with 4 new prescriptions, a new diet, about 20 test results and 3 new prognosis.  I couldn’t stop crying as I tried to hide my fear and guilt.   My guilt is that I must surely die sooner than I had intended less a miracle. But I do believe in miracles. You see I found out today that within the past few years when I had these episodes that everyone tried to say was some sort of panic attack I’ve actually had 4 strokes not including the one on Saturday that’s only indication was suddenly I had slurred speech. Seems incomprehensible to have 5 stokes without a clue but when you’re only 39 people more easily categorize these symptoms as imaginary. They do the blood tests, even the heart tests but not once did anyone test the brain.  3 cat scans, several ekg’s, and 2 MRI’s later and yes I have some new prognosis.  

The guilt is that I want to be there for my children.  I feel guilty for not being there for my oldest.  I want to be there for my mom, and I want to share this life with my caring and loving husband. Also I feel like now after everything I’ve been through to get to the point of my life when I am going after my dream, I just now got thrown yet another challenge towards achieving my dream.
They watched me cry, and I know it breaks their hearts, but after seeing my grandma spend about 15 years in a nursing home practically a vegetable and unable to enjoy her life like she preferred I don’t want to live that life.   

What sucks is that I suspected I was dyeing since I first got Hypertension in mexico spring 2008, and then kidney stones.  But the messed up mindset all really started back in 2005 when I dreamt of my father, who passed  away in 1999. In my dream he was at the commuter train station and he was there to pick me up.  He told me he wanted to take me home. He seemed insistent, and I wanted so badly to go with him. I loved him more than anything for most of my life and he was always my biggest fan and biggest supporter and the smartest person I knew.   But I told him I couldn’t go with him yet. 

Fast forward to last Thursday night and I was dreaming I was sitting at an Italian restaurant with him and my mother, he looked like he did in the 1970’s and we were mid conversation until in reality my 3 year olds leg went on top of me and I woke up crankily.   I’m not sure what we were talking about but I got a sense that it was another request to go with them. Though my mom is still alive, her health has been rapidly declining.
I’ ve written about my spiritual beliefs and I really do believe in the law of attraction but now somehow I have not been able to master my health and the law of attraction  together, somehow my fears and/or realities of my health always seem to get the best of me.

Dear god please help me master this, help me erase this damage, help me overcome this challenge for my children, for my husband, and for myself.

Amen.