Sunday, April 25, 2010

Life as my mother's guardian (and as a college student & mother of 3)

(Back story: My mom is Bi-Polar Schizoid Affective and has been sick since I was a child.  Since my dad died in 1999 she has been declining rapidly. She stopped getting to normal stages since 2002 meaning that she is severly delusional and has had to be hospitalized or in a facility. Also - since I moved to mexico in 2007 she started declining even more rapidly. I came back to the US 1 year ago and have been her guardian since last fall)

This is how my Mom looked in 2005.

I'm pissed off because my mom has had to get brain surgery and now needs a more invasive procedure done  (thats not whats pissing me off i MEAN IT IS but I am praying she will get better after this)whats pissing me off is that the hospital and the facility where she is at don't take the time to go out of their way and keep me informed about what is going on.

 I go to visit her every week but I visited her daily when she was in the hospital and had the surgery.  She looked so very feeble. She's aged like 20 years in just 5 years. I guess that is how the brain works...

 Anyway, after the first surgery they called me and asked me to choose what rehabilitation facility for her to go to. So I went over to the one that was by my house and talked to them and chose that facility.

Then about 4 days later I get a call from another facility saying they just admitted her. I called the hospital and complained that they didn't' inform me and then emailed over to the hospital my guardian information and said they should be keeping me informed in the future.

Then I contacted the rehabilitation/nursing home they sent her to and went in and promptly signed paperwork and all that, I was sick for a few weeks and but my family went to visit her a few times while I was sick,  I asked for some of her funds to be sent over form the normal facility so that I could go buy her some of the things she needed, she seemed to be coming back to normal and I wanted to buy her the normal things she used to like before she got water on the brain.

Then all the sudden the hospital doesn't keep me informed about her status, and they move her back to the normal facility and I contacted them about taking her out and taking her shopping, (note: I have legal right to manage her money but I signed it over to them so that they would give her a weekly budget) and they actually responded back to me as if I was trying to steal her money! I'm like I signed it over to you... anyway, now she is declining again and has to go in for something tomorrow and again the freakin hospital isn't keeping me informed.

I'm so frustrated. I went to see her the other day and they said she was refusing to see me. She has never refused to see me in her life. And I demanded that I see her. I got scared as if they were actually not letting her see me. I demanded to see her and they let me see her. She did seem like she was becoming how she was before the first surgery, but they proceeded to stay in the room (2 of them) while I wanted to talk to her. It was weird. were they worried for my safety? come one, if she was delusionally saying something about me, they should realize she is delusional with all the delusional things she says about everyone. Usually it isn't me, usually it is about where she is at.

I doubt anyone can relate the the severe mental illness issues but jeez. I cannot stand that they are treating me like I am stealing her money, and/or visiting her for some hidden purpose other than for her well being, come on. She's been sick for over 30 years. She doesn't have any freakin money except social security, most people that are as sick as her, their families abandon them, but we still go visit her every week if we can, get a freak-in grip peoples. damn.