I finally had my turn last night to see a portion of Revolutionary Road. I saw just enough of it to be thought provoking. When I moved to Mexico I was like Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio about to move to Paris. I didn't see enough of the movie to see whether they actually did move or not... but by the way they were talking about moving and the peoples reactions it was just like when we were about to move. I was a stay at home Mom. We had a nice house. I loved it. It was big. Swingset, double car garage. It was an older home with charm. And I was .... bored...... So we moved to Mexico for many reasons. But one of the reasons were in all seriousness... "Why the heck not?"
Part of me has always liked to say weird stuff to surprise people. I think most people are walking around like robots and not that much happens that is thought provoking. And so here I come. At least they can make fun of me... that gives them something to think about. "Wow can you believe that woman, who does she think she is." Look at that flat ass. Gross her boobs are so big, eewww.." I wonder what they say? I think I really need to hear it! Most likely it is simple and to the point, "What a bitch!" or "She is weird".
But back to my problem again... so I offend people and then, they don't want to talk to me anymore. Unless they get to know me really well or are forced to spend day after day around me, I usually grow on people, Or do they pretend to like me because I used to work for powerful people????? hmmm.
I am very intense. that is another issue. That I cannot change.
There is one person I met that reminds me alot of myself that I had in 2 of my classes. I watched him stammer and go the long way around to get to his subject, in attempts to be eloquent and then end up usually saying 'Fuck you!' to the rude people. He reminds me of me to some extent but everyone really loves him... I'm again wondering if it is because I am a woman. Look up directors and see how many are women?
How do I overcome this abrasion I'm finding myself in. Suddenly I am acutely aware of how I offend people. Its getting picked for teams in grade school all over again.
I don't really know what I am asking for but if this post inspires something in you... tell me about it. Please.. It feels like this puzzle in my head that I am just wrapping my head around. Do I need to read 101 ways to be eloquent? I just made that up. but I am sure if I do a quick search at the library website, I'll find something along those lines. How to schmooze people.
I can schmooze... I can be charming. Ok I feel some affirmations coming on.