Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Live in the moment, My Spiritual Journey Part 7

(photo is me and my eldest in 1997 at a Parade)
Back to the Spiritual Journey. So if you have been following this spiritual journey series you know that I left off in 1997 where I was following coincidences and involved in an unrequited love. I had been welcomed into the family of my unrequited love, to be included into all their family events.
Through this I learned all about Mexican customs and my first exposure to Real Mexican Food, Jaliscan Style.

One Saturday after a big bar-b-que party the night before, the muchachas were outside sitting on a couch which was placed under a large Douglas Fir Tree. The blue couch was supposed to have been hauled away but someone moved it there and it became a favorite place for people to relax that early summer.

So there I was this Saturday early afternoon and someone had offered me a beer and I accepted and a group of the girls asked me to join them. I remember this moment so very clearly there was banda music playing in the distance. The girls were talking, and I didn't understand a word, but I sat there and I enjoyed the moment.

I just sat there relaxed and I enjoyed the sun, the beer, the chatter, and the music. And I started to Cry. And they asked me why I was crying and I could not competently explain why.
I cried because they had taught me something miraculous. My whole life since I was very little I was always busy doing something. I was always planning, organizing, alphabetizing, writing, knitting, something. And they had taught me to be in the moment and relax. I tasted the beer, I heard the music, and I felt the sun on me. It was truly an epiphany that changed my life for awhile. I wish forever, but it was only awhile.

I lived in the moment and I lived with those coincidences until I had to get away from my unrequited love and I moved about 5 miles away.

In late 1998 I was practicing the "making a list to the Universe", which is like placing an order to the universe of what you want in your life. I was desperately lonely and my father was dying of cancer and I was still working full time (like always) and sort of living a double life. The double life was partying in the evenings and working as Administrative Assistant during the day. I wrote the list of what I want in a man and prayed and let it go to the Universe. And on December 31, 1998 I met my husband who ended up exactly what I ordered (well part at first and part a few years later).

Meeting my husband and falling in love really threw me off my spiritual path for awhile. Being lonely was really more conducive to searching desperately for my faith. But being in a passionate and rocky relationship made it so my whole life evolved around the relationship. Because for the first few years we were very rocky. Later when things mellowed a bit, I started participating in and going to church and watching on television "New thought Christian".

New thought Christian is not really conventional in the same way that Christian, Catholic, Baptist, and Mormon are. I mean they had a church and they had groups but it was very open and the core message was always how to be kind, how to open blocks in forgiveness.

And through the death of my Father, and the tumultuous relationship with my husband (then boyfriend) I listened to these cd's and watched the televised church episodes relentlessly. The church I am referring to is The Living Enrichment Center, and Mary Mannin Morissey. I've mentioned before that if anyone knows her they know that she was involved in a big scandal several years later where her husband embezzled money from the church, but I don't even care about that. That pastor got me through some of the most difficult times I've ever had in my life. I still have digital versions of her talks that I still listen to them in times of difficulty. She makes me laugh and cry and open my heart just by hearing her beautiful stories. She has a gift and I still follow her to this day regardless of what happened. Here is a link to her most recent website : http://www.marymorrissey.com/ I wish I could get my hands on all her old cd's and video's " Life Keys" really are/were wonderful.

And then... life happened. We got married, and bought a house, and had 2 more babies. And I faithfully let myself quit my well paying Executive Assistant Job to stay home with my children. I tried to watch Mary on TV and read the occasional book. Then Mary's scandal happened but I sort of missed that somehow. And in 2007 I moved to Mexico.

Mexico was a huge process in my faith. It tested my faith. Again... Mexico took all of my faith and all of my learning about how to be and how to love how to be positive, and put it to the biggest test I've ever experienced. But even though I don't want to live in Mexico again, I must say I personally believe everyone should do it. It teaches you about yourself and it teaches you about life and the world. It helps you to understand the Mexican culture in a way that only living in Mexico can.