Monday, November 30, 2009

Another Quote sent from Mary Morressey

There is a Chinese proverb that says if you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Don't we all know that this is true?

Friday, November 20, 2009

even more awesome bumper sticker - about strong women

today I don't have a blurry picture, but the words stand alone:

Well Behaved Women

Rarely Make History

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Live in the moment, My Spiritual Journey Part 7

(photo is me and my eldest in 1997 at a Parade)
Back to the Spiritual Journey. So if you have been following this spiritual journey series you know that I left off in 1997 where I was following coincidences and involved in an unrequited love. I had been welcomed into the family of my unrequited love, to be included into all their family events.
Through this I learned all about Mexican customs and my first exposure to Real Mexican Food, Jaliscan Style.

One Saturday after a big bar-b-que party the night before, the muchachas were outside sitting on a couch which was placed under a large Douglas Fir Tree. The blue couch was supposed to have been hauled away but someone moved it there and it became a favorite place for people to relax that early summer.

So there I was this Saturday early afternoon and someone had offered me a beer and I accepted and a group of the girls asked me to join them. I remember this moment so very clearly there was banda music playing in the distance. The girls were talking, and I didn't understand a word, but I sat there and I enjoyed the moment.

I just sat there relaxed and I enjoyed the sun, the beer, the chatter, and the music. And I started to Cry. And they asked me why I was crying and I could not competently explain why.
I cried because they had taught me something miraculous. My whole life since I was very little I was always busy doing something. I was always planning, organizing, alphabetizing, writing, knitting, something. And they had taught me to be in the moment and relax. I tasted the beer, I heard the music, and I felt the sun on me. It was truly an epiphany that changed my life for awhile. I wish forever, but it was only awhile.

I lived in the moment and I lived with those coincidences until I had to get away from my unrequited love and I moved about 5 miles away.

In late 1998 I was practicing the "making a list to the Universe", which is like placing an order to the universe of what you want in your life. I was desperately lonely and my father was dying of cancer and I was still working full time (like always) and sort of living a double life. The double life was partying in the evenings and working as Administrative Assistant during the day. I wrote the list of what I want in a man and prayed and let it go to the Universe. And on December 31, 1998 I met my husband who ended up exactly what I ordered (well part at first and part a few years later).

Meeting my husband and falling in love really threw me off my spiritual path for awhile. Being lonely was really more conducive to searching desperately for my faith. But being in a passionate and rocky relationship made it so my whole life evolved around the relationship. Because for the first few years we were very rocky. Later when things mellowed a bit, I started participating in and going to church and watching on television "New thought Christian".

New thought Christian is not really conventional in the same way that Christian, Catholic, Baptist, and Mormon are. I mean they had a church and they had groups but it was very open and the core message was always how to be kind, how to open blocks in forgiveness.

And through the death of my Father, and the tumultuous relationship with my husband (then boyfriend) I listened to these cd's and watched the televised church episodes relentlessly. The church I am referring to is The Living Enrichment Center, and Mary Mannin Morissey. I've mentioned before that if anyone knows her they know that she was involved in a big scandal several years later where her husband embezzled money from the church, but I don't even care about that. That pastor got me through some of the most difficult times I've ever had in my life. I still have digital versions of her talks that I still listen to them in times of difficulty. She makes me laugh and cry and open my heart just by hearing her beautiful stories. She has a gift and I still follow her to this day regardless of what happened. Here is a link to her most recent website : http://www.marymorrissey.com/ I wish I could get my hands on all her old cd's and video's " Life Keys" really are/were wonderful.

And then... life happened. We got married, and bought a house, and had 2 more babies. And I faithfully let myself quit my well paying Executive Assistant Job to stay home with my children. I tried to watch Mary on TV and read the occasional book. Then Mary's scandal happened but I sort of missed that somehow. And in 2007 I moved to Mexico.

Mexico was a huge process in my faith. It tested my faith. Again... Mexico took all of my faith and all of my learning about how to be and how to love how to be positive, and put it to the biggest test I've ever experienced. But even though I don't want to live in Mexico again, I must say I personally believe everyone should do it. It teaches you about yourself and it teaches you about life and the world. It helps you to understand the Mexican culture in a way that only living in Mexico can.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What really happened in 1996 when the Immigration Laws got all messed up

Ok so we...... meaning us who are dramatically affected by the immigration laws.... we are all aware that in 1996 the laws changed right?

And when we tell people we are American Citizens and married to a foreign man and they are banned from the USA, people are like... What? All you have to do is marry them right? and we are like. "People always say that, but ahhhh no, it's not that easy, not since 1996"

So have you ever wondered what exactly happened in 1996?

Why on earth would the Clinton Administration do this to us? I've always thought it had to be Bush somehow... but it wasn't.

Well I got it answered today. Here is the answer to this question about how the immigration laws got totally screwed up in the first place.

But as of now this is Chisme, which I encourage you to fact check, as I will..... I do need to verify all of this, but this has been told to me in a phone conversation with someone who is very politically involved in immigration issues. If you want to check it out and post a link to some of your findings in the comments that would be great, but here is the story I heard today.

Back in the day on Wednesday, or 1996 there were some major "balancing and passing the national budget" issues going on. In fact there was something going on with Newt Gingrich and the Budget.

The government came to a standstill/gridlock and this is what happened: The only way they could get a budget passed (and get the government back to work) was by the Senate and House passing the budget. But what the Republicans did was to attach an Immigration Amendment to the budget.

When it got to Clinton for signature.... and the entire government was gridlocked and stuck, it was inevitable that Clinton had to sign this bill, because the government has basically shut down without it.

And my contact also mentioned to me that the republicans thought this was going to curb illegal immigration but in truth it had the opposite result. Because after that immigrants found out that they could not travel back to their home countries seasonally without having permanent effects on their immigration status. Because if they got caught at the border they would lose their ability to get legal for 10 years, 20 years or lifetime. So instead of curbing illegal immigration it actually made it so that illegal immigrants had to stay in the US, and then later on they would miss their family so more of their family would come.

I believe this is true because with Mexico specifically, everyone that I have ever met from Mexico did not come here thinking they wanted to stay here. When they first came they just wanted to make some money so that they can go back and have a better life in Mexico. But with the way the laws are written, especially since 1996 once you come you are stuck, and you have to choose one country or the other.

Please comment and add to the story, or even discredit the story if you know more info. But I do find this highly interesting.

Puerto Vallarta Girl in Portland

awesome bumper sticker about screwing

Its blurry I was at a stop light. It says:
Fighting for Peace - is like - Screwing for Virginity

Determination Alienates me - Kindess redeems. Both are necessary.


Determination is a lonely road paved by ambition. Isolating you(me) from all the people who have buried their dreams and can't forgive themselves. I want to share my ideas and inspire but face to face my existence and determination trigger something that scares the average person. Why can she do her dreams when I cannot let myself? Lets be honest here. Part of it is because I am a woman. I am bold enough to believe I can do nearly anything I want. Who gave me that right?

When I speak of my ambition or personal accomplishment I just want to share it with someone. But it can be taken as boasting. It makes me want to curse because I just want to talk about my life with someone. It is hard being the listener for so many years and when I have something I want to talk about it is not meant for comparison. It is only my thoughts coming out and my relentless ambition. I don't want to apologize for letting my light shine. I didn't think I had to anymore.

Aren't we all searching this life to figure out and to play the music in our hearts? Just like in my favorite song, posted in an earlier blog "All IN" "I want more laughing and giggling, need more passion and wisdom, give some and take some, I don't want no fake ones, if I need new friends then I'll make some. Spend half my life on the search for nothing, I came up with something, It's on again! I Found myself by the river and jumping, its all or nothing gotta be all in. be all in, gotta be all in, be all in, yeah its all or nothing......." later it says, "Its all or nothing baby, its never ever maybe, YOU THINK I MIGHT BE CRAZY... but I gotta be all in!"

If isolation is the price, I have to pay it.

In this life, I'm striving to be kind, I often swerve in and out of kindness. I want to stay on that side of the road. This life, this journey, is a spiritual journey, to me, and it takes determination to be spiritual, it takes determination to uplift, it takes determination to be positive, and I am determined. And I hope to be kind. No I am determined to be kind. NO matter what. It is a HUGE STRUGGLE. One of the most difficult struggles. NO THE most difficult struggle to be kind. A wise person who studied all religions as his life work, was asked "In all your studies can you summarize all religions in one phrase?"

He said "It is the practice of being kind. " Dear god, please help me to be kind, because I've already got the determination. And I know with time my kindness will bounce back on me again.

Thank you god.
Puerto Vallarta Girl in Portland

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Student Film - a Poem

To you I am intense and overbearing
To Me I am inquisitive and friendly
To you it is an assignment
To me it is one step closer to my dream
And to you it is a due date
For me its my name and the beginning of a trademark
To you it is only a piece of a puzzle you must complete before the buzzer rings
To me it feels like a last contribution before I die
To you it is a learning experience
To me it is an inspired divine expression

The conundrum - My spiritual Journey Part 6

So in my last few spiritual journey posts I brought you to when I was introduced to Creative Visualization and the Celestine Prophecy (ie. coincidences and Serendipity) Ok,

So I got the apartment and I started doing creative visualization and I visualized and prayed for a new love. And then a man showed up at my door 2 days later and he wasn't what I thought I wanted so I told him we can't be together we can only have sex. This is how I got involved with a Mexican man. The one before my husband. So this is all fine and dandy till it turned into an unrequited love. I've mentioned this before on my blog in case you don't already know - unrequited love is when you love someone and they don't love you back. Like in the movie "The Holiday" when Kate Winslets character loves Jasper who keeps coming into her life but doesn't really love her. That was me.

During this stage of my life I got into the coincidences theory. And totally honestly coincidences are extremely exiting. They bring a whole new element to your life. Suddenly you feel like you are living in magic and joy and when you follow coincidences it makes you feel purposeful. And the theory is that if you have coincidences in your life it is like messages from god that you are on the right track.

But here is the conundrum, and issue, a problem in the philosophy, it is the chicken egg thing. ... . . . . . . Later on after this part (part 6) I got into "The Secret", there is almost 10 years between the coincidences phase and the law of attraction phase and this is a HUGE ISSUE in my philosophy:

Are coincidences real or are they by-products of the law of attraction? Anyone have an opinion?

Here is why: I spent nearly 2 years pining for, sleeping with, and drinking my sorrows away because all of the signs and coincidences were pointing me towards my unrequited love, but now in retrospect it may have all been forced (and law of attraction) because I was thinking, and obsessing, and living next door to him.

Here is the core question? Are coincidences stand alone divine gifts or purely a law of attraction by product?

Wanting to know your thoughtful feedback.
Puerto Vallarta Girl in Portland

National Victory, according to this Lou Dobbs has done his last episode on CNN

Here is an email I got - today to see more about this go to: http://AmericasVoiceOnline.org/AdiosDobbs

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: "Adam Luna, America's Voice"
Sent: Thu, November 12, 2009 10:49:23 AM
Subject: Lou Dobbs on CNN? Not Tonight!


Last night, Lou Dobbs aired his final broadcast on CNN.

Tonight, when viewers tune in to CNN primetime, the hate TV will be gone. CNN President Jonathan Klein said, "Lou Dobbs will carry the banner of advocacy journalism elsewhere."

Dobbs's hate speech will no longer carry the CNN stamp of approval.

Thank you for speaking out and being a part of this victory. You helped us raise money to put an ad on TV called "CNN: Drop the Hate, Drop Dobbs," which argued that 260 hours a year of extreme, anti-immigrant programming was simply unacceptable.

Your hard work surely helped CNN cancel "Lou Dobbs Tonight."

Please tell your friends the good news, and ask them to join us:

http://AmericasVoiceOnline.org/AdiosDobbs

Lou Dobbs gave the Minutemen vigilante group a national platform, spread lies that immigrants bring leprosy to the U.S., and implied that President Barack Obama is an undocumented immigrant from Kenya.

Lou Dobbs was one of the main forces of fear, lies, and hatred in the immigration debate. Thanks to voices like yours, he will no longer be on CNN.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of Lou Dobbs copycats crowding out the conversation on immigration in Washington. We're going to need every voice we can get to fight their extremism and stand up for a better America in the months ahead, with immigration reform on the horizon.

Please help us spread the word and grow our movement for change:

http://americasvoiceonline.org/page/m/327374be/1fb65eef/1ec4213a/6f202735/1495436941/VEsC/

Most importantly, thank you for being part of this tremendous victory.

Sincerely,

Adam Luna
America's Voice


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Elegant Veterans Day Concert - Monday night




My Son is in the "A Choir" at his High school and his group was invited to sing with 2 other A Choirs to sing for a Veterans Tribute at the Portland Schnitzer last Monday night.


I sat there overcome with emotion as my Son sang Yankee Doodle Dandy (and other songs). But this was no simple Yankee Doodle Dandy this was A choir with around 200 very accomplished choir students singing it. In the very moment of Patriotism I looked around and I saw the luxury and the arbitrary yet beautiful extravagance and I heard the words they spoke in the following speeches. And all I could think of is my husband in Poverty in a 3rd world country and unable to be with us. Me in my heels and luxury and him on cold concrete floors and no kitchen sink. It was the purest most beautiful music I may have ever heard.

And a man sang the star spangled banner reminding me of our nation and he spoke of all the wars from the revolutionary war and forward and the music that went with it.


And then they spoke of the war with Mexico, and I felt like God was telling me something.


I just can't believe how big my baby boy is now.


And then later Dennis Marcellino sang "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and the Kingsmen played some of their music Cherokee Nation and Louie Louie and Born to be Wild. These were all popular during the Vietnam war.


Later a group of people played the "God Bless the USA", country song from the Gulf War, All the while I felt a weird bittersweet feeling about my country.


I love my country, but I really wish they would let me have my husband too.


Regardless my son had such a cool experience, he got to sing onstage with Real Rockstars.


Puerto Vallarta Girl in Portland

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

GERARDO NARANJO, DRAMA/MEX


I just saw this movie on "On Demand" and it is really really good. All you folks in Mexico you should see this movie, it really captures the feeling of Mexico and keeps you wrapped inside the movie the whole time. It feels real. Like you are a character in the movie. It takes place in Acapulco. Four Stars.
One note for those of you in Mexico - the movie that was out this summer that was about a storm that happened on vacation to a mexican family that vacationed in Cancun. Is sort of similiar to this in a way, but this is much better.

The Vacuum Cleaner - My spiritual Journey Part 4

NOTE: PART 4 AND PART 5 POSTED IN OPPOSITE ORDER
I can't remember which started first for me Creative Visualization or Eckankar so I will start with Eckankar because it didn't last long.


After several years of being lightly involved with IANDS (Portland chapter of the International Association of Near Death Experiences) I got some information about Eckankar. I decided to go to a few meetings which were very different from anything that I had ever experienced.

I had read the book they give. To me it was a little weird for some reason, which is funny since I was into the crystals and had an out of body experience as a teen. Anyway, I was at a session or meeting or what ever you call it and we were doing Hu. Hu is humming, or chanting and they believe in Eckankar that the tone of Hu brings you closer to God so everyone chants Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu over and over. Ok so then we do a meditationi and visualization process. And next we imagine our mind empty and blue, because blue is God, they say. Next we imagined a marble rolling around inside our mind and clearing out blocks. If your mind runs into something that is ok. When we were done we were encouraged to talk about what we experienced with our marble. So I told them what happened to me, nonchalantly and was greeted with a room full of gasps.

My experience was this. The marble was rolling around my mind and I saw my grandmother, who died when I was about 8. My grandmother said "Trust Harold, you are the same as Harold". So we completed the meditation and I told the class that experience and then I said, "I have no idea who Harold is, I don't know a Harold" (when I was 17 I did hear about a guy named Harold - that was a friends so called "Sugar Daddy" but I was certain it was not him). They all pointed to the wall. Harold is/was the High Priest or what ever you would call it in Eckankar. Everyone was amazed. I don't know if I am/was completely shallow at the time because I didn't feel anything about Harold except a little freaked out. He didn't look trust-worthy to me. I thought his eyes were lying. Here is Harold and you tell me what you think. So that was the end of Eckankar for me, I just could not shake the not comfortable feeling.





Then one day at Bearly Used Books in Portland, I traded in some romance novels and grabbed a little book that looked interesting. Creative Visualization by Shatki Gawain. That book was a HUGE turning point in my life and in my spiritual Journey. Creative Visualization was a book which was written in the 70's. It is so much more than just Creative Visualization. It does have a little bit of far out stuff but it makes so much sense and really explains the universe. It helps on so many levels. I would HIGHLY Recommend this for anyone who is looking for something in their spiritual journey and is open to bigger possibilities.



I started reading this book little by little I had just split from my first Husband, which was a fake marriage, a 'I got knocked up or I would have never married you' marriage. But it did bring me my fabulous beautiful son. Anyway, I was finding myself again. I just got my own place and I didn't have a car and I didn't have much money and I didn't have furniture.


Ok so I started practicing the methods in Creative Visualization. It goes something like this 1. relax, 2. Use a meditation technique, 3. visualize what you want, 4. Do affirmations of what you want as if you already have it, 5. do more affirmations throughout the day saying that you have said thing or characteristic .



I used this method and within a week I got a great apartment which only required me to pay a small amount of money to move in. I got a car where I didn't have enough money to buy it but a complete stranger said I could pay the additional $100 dollars later on. And People started calling me out of the blue because they either wanted to sell me (on payments) or give me things that I needed, all which I had visualized for. But the most amazing story was the Vacuum. I had just picked up my son from Daycare across town from my new apartment. I was thinking how I was going to have a party the next day and I needed a vacuum. Just then in the same moment I thought about the vacuum I saw a vacuum on the side of the road with a free sign. I quickly pulled over and walked up to the porch and knocked on the door. I verified that the vacuum was really free. The little boy said yes, I said well, can I talk to your mom. The mom walked up and it turned out to be the house of someone I vaguely knew, but didn't know where they lived. She said sure it's free. And we chatted and that was it.



I was hooked. Creative Visualization it was. I am a faithful follower till the day I die. I just have to remember to do it. I've gotten countless things by visualizing them. And the last part I didn't say was always, always, say thank you. Gratitude is very important.


My spiritual Journey continued. This is only 1998.

Monday, November 9, 2009

World Trade Center Bombing 1993 - Long round about way to continue My Spiritual Journey - Part 5

NOTE: PART 4 AND PART 5 POSTED IN OPPOSITE ORDER.
Then came the day when I sat down with my then Boss, we will call him J. J was a warm and sweet Executive Vice President of an Investment Firm. I was his Administrative Assistant. One morning I went into his office and I was telling him about a coincidence I had experienced that morning. He said that my story sounded like the Celestine Prophecy which is crappy writing he said but an interesting concept. I said "What is the Celestine Prophecy"? He said well first I want to tell you a story.

But before I get into the FABULOUS STORY HE TOLD ME here is a picture of me and 2 other ladies in the office and we are dressed up for Halloween as Bill and the Lewinsky sisters. I'm on the left.




Ok so this is the long really cool story. Keep in mind the day in J's office was spring 1998.

Here goes: He had a handmade clay tea cup on his desk and he showed it to me, J. and his wife owned an artsy Home Decor store. In 1993 J and his wife travelled to New York City to visit with a Corporate Head of the company and while they were in New York they wanted to meet with this woman who made these specialty tea cups. They drove way out into the suburbs, it may have been New Jersey and went into some old building with those old type elevators where you pull a rope to make the elevator go up and down. They went into an apartment and a man told them to wait, and they were shown these complete sets of the tea cups and became the only people to carry these original art work tea cups on the West Coast. Then they left and as they were walking they past a sports memorabilia store, J loved sports memorabilia so they went in. Inside of the store were some select baseballs from the World Series. Sorry I'm not big on baseball so I don't remember the details, anyway it was a set and he really wanted it but when they saw the $1500 price tag he decided not to buy it. His wife had some more shopping to do and he had to get to a meeting in the World Trade Center. So he was rushing to get back to the World Trade Center. Later he was in a restaurant in the World Trade Center when there was a loud noise and a trembling. If I can remember correctly he said that during this bombing, while he was inside of the attached building, he continued lunch and at first no one even realized that anything had happened for quite awhile. A 1/2 hour later the building was evacuated. (this story is really amazing because this all happened way before 9/11) here is a link to the event if you are interested - World Trade Center Bombing in 1993.



So he and his wife were still in New York and the whole city was a ruckus but the feeling of almost being affected by a terrorist act got him thinking that he really should go back and buy those baseballs. So he goes back to the shop where the baseballs were at and is prepared to fork out the $1,500. dollars when he finds out they were just sold 1/2 hour earlier.


Ok so he goes back to Portland and lives his life and then about 1 1/2 years later he gets a call from an old friend that invites him to dinner. This was like an old college buddy. He goes to this friends house and after dinner they are browsing around the guys house looking at his art and sports memorabilia turns out that his friend bought the same famous baseball set that he wanted, on the same day he went to buy in, in New Jersey, 1/2 hour before he went to buy it.

So when he sees the tea cup on his desk that is what it reminds him of. I was like wow, what a coincidence. So he said yeah.... check out the Celestine prophecy. So I did.

I agree the writing itself is not amazing, but the concepts to follow coincidences in your life are exciting and interesting. And I did practice this for awhile. If you are interested in this concept I recommend to also read, "The Power of Flow".

My spiritual Journey to be continued.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Strawberry Shortcake Festival - My Spiritual Journey Part 3

Click here to go to link on Amazon for the Book Saved By the Light
By now I was 24, I had married (reluctantly) and had a baby. My dear mother-in-law (not dear to me) suggested we go to a festival out at the Mount Hood Community College. I still felt like something was missing in my life. I felt lonely on some level that I couldn't put my finger on. And I still had an aversion to any church or institution that said "Hell", "Lord", "Apocalypse", and "Sin", I had a sense that god loved you no matter what but I still was not able to articulate it. This would have been 1995. I believe I had been to a few more of those crystal stores and felt really nice there, I picked up more books but still felt like there must be something else.

So we headed out to this event with no idea what to expect and it turned out to be a huge cornerstone of my life at that time. We had all split up and I didn't have my son with me at the time he must have been walking around with his Dad.

What the event was, was an introduction to classes and events through short showings. I remember I learned how to make "Flubber", I learned about the color wheel for interior design and I was just wandering around the Mount Hood Community College Campus.

I stumbled into a dark room where a class that sounded interesting was supposed to be held. Inside the class there was a movie playing. It was Saved by the light, The Dannion Brinkley Story If you haven't heard about this story it is sort of an introduction to Near Death Experiences. I loved these sort of spiritual thriller type movies and I sat there feeling at home. And once the lights came on a Wally something or other spoke. Wally was a professor who had personally had a Near Death Experience and he spoke of a group that met locally here in Portland where people discussed their near death experiences. I had not had a near death experiences but this was the closest to an organized religious experience that I had ever experienced. The group he represented is/was IANDS the International Association of Near death Experiences So I got the information and I started going to meet with IANDS

They were held monthly and they also sent out a monthly mailed newsletter and I attended on and off for a few years. Inside these meetings people would describe their experience of what happened when they were clinically declared dead for 2 or more minutes sometimes 5 minutes. And then they would come back to life.

Up to this point I wouldn't say I had strong faith. But during these classes or meetings I felt the very closest I had ever felt to god up until that point.

Here is what a typical story would go like:

A person dies for what ever reason, they find themselves looking at their own body and people around their body, they are then pulled into a tunnel , in the tunnel some people would describe passing scary shadows, and others would describe a sort of hyper speed, some people would say a loved one would escort them through the tunnel, after they came out of the tunnel they would come up to a brilliant light and that light would be god, or Jesus, or the supreme being, and in the presence of that bright light they would receive all knowledge, and there was no time, and they were fully loved beyond anything that is even describable in words. The feeling was pure love, acceptance, and pure joy. But usually they would then be told that they had to go back, they still needed to do something. In truth they didn't want to go back because they were in that feeling of pure love.

Then they would come back and many people would fall into a depression. Other people would be totally changed. Before the experience, sometimes like Dannion Brinkley they were not nice people. And after the experience they had super human skills, psychic skills. But almost everyone their hearts longed for the pure acceptance they were given in that state.

That is what I was fascinated by. At those meetings I thought I want that. I want to feel that acceptance. But they didn't tell me how to get it. They did tell me about it though at at that time, that is what I needed. To know that somewhere there is pure acceptance.

My spiritual Journey to be continued.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Outta body experience - My Spiritual Journey Part 2

WARNING THIS IS SOME FAR OUT SHIT:

When I was an early teen somehow I got my hands on some old Edgar Cayce books, Edgar Cayce website. When I was a little girl I had gone to church with my mom and grandma and gone to church with my friends. I didn't go often and I didn't get anything out of it. I however sensed that I needed something in my life and I sensed something bigger so when I got my hands on those books I found them fascinating. For those of you who don't know who Edgar cayce is, he is a man who inadvertently found out he could heal people by thinking about them, asking the universe and he could visualize what was wrong in their body, and the universe would tell him how to heal them.

Then I met my friends mother, Darcy and she told me more about mystical and psychic things. That was when I started checking out crystals and a variety of ideas. Until one day at age 15 I got my hands on a book about Astral Projection. That actually explains how to do it. Since I had been dreaming for years that I could fly in my dreams this fascinated me and I tried to do the step by step actions to make myself Astral project. Astral Projection is when you leave your body during meditation.

When I was 16 one night I had the strangest experience. I was doing the process step by step which involved meditation and visualization. The visualization was that a beam of energy or ball of light ran over you from your head to your toes and your whole body starts buzzing, slowly the vibrations of your body rise and once it is going fast enough your soul actually leaves your body but stays connected. I know how bizarre this sounds but I kept trying to do it. One night I had an amazing experience. I woke up and my face was touching the popcorn ceiling of my room and I got scared and I was yanked back into my body. When I woke up I thought I had been struck by lightening because my entire body was buzzing like how your limbs feel when you fall asleep. I stopped doing the practice after that. But I think I actually did leave my body. I believe I had an out of body experience.


Though I have not studied this since then I do believe it happened. But to tell you the truth it was too soon in my journey and did actually freak me out.

Spritual Journey to be continued

Somewhere over the Rainbow - My Spiritual Journey Part 1

(this photo is from today by my apartment)
Somewhere over the Rainbow I found myself and I started following my heart.


It all started back when I was a teenager, I had basically no spiritual teacher, no mentor, just a really great dad who had all his own human faults but somehow he was able to give me a solid start. Amongst all my rebellion and acting out and problems with authority I started searching for something. Actually when I really recall this story of my spiritual journey it always really takes me back to the day I got suspended in 3rd grade. I was sitting in the principles office and I had an epiphany. I had decided not to stress about the crime that had been comitted and the punishment that was about to come. I had kicked my teacher for taking my Avon perfume away from me. Being that I was a poor child, when I received a small Avon lotion perfume for my birthday I was fiercely proud of it. I had brought it to school and was evidently causing a ruckus with it. I was sent to the principles office and I still remember that moment very clearly. That was the moment when


I knew that time would pass. I knew there was no reason to stress because shortly it would all only be a memory.



Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Mexican Stare

Isolated as I am I tend to ramble on about things that I personally find amusing or interesting. Today will be an idea that I've been thinking about for a few days. I've changed the way I drive since I've been back from Mexico. I mean, not exactly in how I drive, but what I do when I am driving. I used to often find myself driving on Auto-pilot. My body would be safely getting me from point a to point b, me meaning me and my children or whom ever is in the car. And then I would try to recall something about the drive and basically not recall how I actually did get from point a to point b. Anyone else have that problem?

Anyway, my new thing is this: I do the Mexican stare. When I am stopped at stoplights I stare at the people on the street. When I turn a corner I stare at the people in their cars in the turning lane of the next street. Stopped at a stoplight I look at the people in the cars. I people watch as I bounce to the music.

This is very interesting because now I CAN recall my drive.

I passed the guy who was playing on his skateboard, just after I thumbed-up the older gentleman in a motorized device, after I stopped so that he could cross the intersection.

It is interesting how the human element can change the way my brain works.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Crazy mom Moment - and I'm talking about me

So here I'll start my incoherent rambling, as I do when I get little whims and I start rambling and then I have no substance to back it up... here goes:

I don't know if anyone else has seen the poem on one of the mom blogs about don't ask the mom for a donut? or something. and the mom is about to do something when she is interupted from something else, and trips over something, that reminds her she has to do another thing, so she drops something and then has to do something else etc etc. until she gets back to her pen or donut or what ever it was that started the seeming rampage but is only a small snapshot into our lives as mothers.

Well, I had one of those moments today and in the middle of the moment, which I am about to describe, I realized how ridiculous I must look if caught on hidden camera. Or how it might play out in one of my future movies.

Picture this (or don't because of how gruesome it may seem to some): I just bought another ready mop. I haven't been moping my very small kitchen or entry way or bathoom like I mopped in Mexico. Any of you girls in Mexico know that sweeping and mopping is no less than an olympic sport in Mexico but here in the US it is an after thought for these smallish apartments with wall to wall carpet.

So there I am with my ready mop, trying to print a few pages from a movie camera manual so that I can study for the movie camera test tomorrow, and I was ready mopping in the other hand, and I decided to go to print one more page as I was dying to go to the bathroom, but us mothers, can ignore that sensation for incredible amounts of time, so I start printing and I carry my ready mop into the bathroom and as I'm sitting on my potty, I notice those spots on the toilet on the middle side of the toilet that get dirty and I grab a cleaning wipe and start to clean it but I can't reach so I put a cleaning wipe on each side of the toilet in that spot, and I finish my business then I stand up. But get this, I don't pull up my pants and I have the ready mop in one hand, and mopping of course, and I am cleaning the sides of the toilet with my face above the unflushed toilet, and pants around my ankle cleaning each side of the toilet.

Has anyone else seen that poem? I'm sure in all my madness it was hard to pull out what poem is that, but if you have seen it you will know.

I have got to put more stuff like this in the movies.... or is that too real?

Puerto Vallarta Girl in Portland