Thursday, November 6, 2008

Settling down and thankful for faith and love

This article was originally written on May 28, 2007 12:43am

I just finished watching the movie Invisible and it inspired me to write. The trees in the movie reminded me of Oregon. I felt a surge of longing for Oregon. It’s just that when we are there it is very difficult to enjoy the weather because it is so cold and rainy. As well as Enrique is working all the time. Right now we have been looking at a bunch of houses. Today we only looked at one. But we are getting to know the areas. The kids seem happier. Enrique and I seem happier. I kept telling Enrique that when we get a normal house type setting we will be happier. I think he didn’t believe me. Today we went to the public access beach. It is located right in between two hotels or resorts. The sand is really beautiful. Actually this part I think is the prettiest part of the beach I’ve seen. There is pure sand without large pebbles. Our apartment is actually only about 5 minutes away from the public access. And, today some guy that Enrique was talking to said that there is a house close to here for sale in our price range.

At the beach we were only there for about ½ hour and then I think what looked like perhaps a baby jelly fish landed on Jimi’s leg. And then also I saw some bees. After the ½ hour Jimi started to cry terribly. So we had to go. And Enrique was being quite irritated. He recognized that Jimi was hurt before I did, but I tried to calm him down. Jimi was crying and crying and I said please go get me a bottle of water and the towel and I will try to clean him up and Enrique was sort of accusing in a way. He said "No I think we should go!" And I said can you bring me that so that I can get him ready to go.

Also Enrique has been a bit weird in the the fact that I need help calling people. It’s like pulling teeth all the time to get him to help do stuff. I don’t really understand why? Years ago it used to be because he thought I was always bossing him around so any time I asked anything he would ignore me.

Moments ago I Looked down at my large breasts and realized that they are sagging a lot. The magic number must be the 3rd child or perhaps it is the age 36 but now they just aren’t perky. Even just 1 ½ years ago 2 people told me how perky my breasts were. Not any more.

Anyway, back to how I am feeling. I feel a little home sick for Oregon but I want to bond closer to my family.

A few days ago Enrique called his mom to say hi and ask how they are doing. One of our dreams was to have them come to the beach with us. He was going to invite them or feel out the situation. Somehow his mom mentioned something about what happened with him the night before we came to Puerto Vallarta. Evidently the tables are now turned. When we left from there she was very sympathetic with me, I had told her everything that had happened and she said she was sorry that happened to me.

Then somehow the gossip had come around and SHE NOW BELIEVES the gossip. Enrique was very upset that he couldn’t change her mind. She now believes that I had somehow over powered Enrique, which is impossible, and threw him on the ground and kicked him and left him there to die. This is very strange to me since when I came to her door he was about 1-2 minutes behind me. There is gossip all over the little town. Enrique takes full responsibility for it but still he feels bad his mom doesn't believe him.

I told him that situation is like a voice mail from god. “Hi you guys, this is god. Um Enrique I know you were thinking at some point it would be better to live in your small town, but hey, I think you made a good decision. That is a good place for you to visit but not to live all the time. Just wanted to tell you that. Thanks for your gratitude, give me a call sometime. “

Enrique sort of smiled. It was weird, awhile ago I would say.... before I was pregnant with Jimi. We were really happy. But the pregnancy was hard on me, and therefore hard on Enrique. Then he was born and he is wonderful, but as far as romance, we just don’t have time for it. Then we made the decision to sell the house and all that and well, we just haven’t been that close. The worst part is ever since this trip started we have gotten along worse than any time in our entire relationship. The other day we actually had a point in the car where I was telling him he doesn’t have any balls and he was telling me what a bitch I am and we both asked the other "Why do you want to be with me?"

But somehow that moment passed. And we were like, "OK, What do you want to eat?"

Then we’ve gotten better since then.

We have this 3 bed 2 bath apartment with a sorta big kitchen. We’ve been buying some stuff and looking around. We’ve been making plans. Enrique wants to buy a nicer house and fix it up.

When I watched that movie "Invisible" I started to miss my Son a lot. I have a 15 year old son still in Oregon, and living with only his father for the first time in his life. It has been hard getting along with him too, but I hope that we get along better when he comes to visit. Also I do need to call my mom. I haven’t spoken to her for awhile.

Here in Puerto Vallarta it is so humid that you have to shower 2-3 times per day just to wash off the sweat. At night we aren’t having much problems sleeping because the ceiling fans seem to keep us cool. I don’t really care much for A/C.

Well I’d better go.

PS Thank you god for everything wonderful in our lives. The beautiful sunset, the feel of a clean floor on our feet. The soft kiss of the air from the fan. Making love and reconnecting to my husband. The first steps and walks with my baby. Singing you are my sunshine to my little girl before her bedtime. Holding my childrens small hands in mine. Rubbing the shoulders of my husband. The nice brown tan I have. Our new flat screen TV. And faith and love.