Saturday, November 29, 2008

Fireworks in the air, doors wide, upon Christmas Season?

Bless-ed are these days upon us. Bless-ed they seem to open our hearts. Often we are not aware of the way they affect us until they are gone.

I smell the minty smell of the dish soap and think of a few moments ago when I was up on the roof-top terrace. I could hear the sound of a fiesta one street away and hear the sound of an accordion playing and the group undoubtedly buzzed off their drink of choice, singing the famous Mexican melodies together.

As I took down the clothes from the clothes-line I could smell the smell of the fireworks the children were letting off in the streets below. I watched an attractive man walk down the street, he was not aware I was watching, and he paused directly in front of our house for sale. He waited right in front of our house. I wondered why and realized it was for some firework, I could not see, to finish, and then he was on his way. Just then the lady across the street came out into her garage to peak out the window to see what was going on. In that moment I lifted my head to the tropical jungle surrounding the city, and the white fluffy clouds that were lower than the mountain tops.

And then my gaze grew lower and I could see up my street to where some balloons were strewn across the street from one side to the other. Off in the distance I could see the tops of some homes in a slightly newer area strewn with Christmas lights.

In my mind I imagined my friend, who wrote to me today, sitting inside her house and looking out the window imagining what it is like here. She looks out her own window and sees the rain pouring down. I know there the temperature is low. And here I am in a different beautiful place and I am missing the Christmas’ that I grew up with, the Peacock lane, the Willamette River parade of boats with Christmas lights, the no longer Meier and Frank 12th floor Christmas tram, seeing your breath, and the rush of the season.

There is no rush here.

Since I never committed myself to be here I am unable to celebrate the season. The commitment phobic I am. Or am I? I’m so committed to moving with the flow and being open that I am not committing to my own traditions. I am cheating myself. I am cheating my children. We do have fun, but I feel like it is all or nothing. I must be in Portland to celebrate the Christmas I know. It has to be cold outside, or it’s not Christmas.

I am grateful though. I am grateful for this cozy little house, and my cozy little life, and the unexpected miracles that happen everyday.

Bless-ed are these days upon us.

Friday, November 28, 2008

The Perfect Facade of Home Life

Back to a schedule with the children. I've posted it on the fridge. I don't know why, but all this time with us all together (meaning e home too)here in Puerto Vallarta, I have not been able to keep a schedule.

The down-side I hate schedules, but they are sort of necessary for the little ones. For example when it comes to breakfast, snack, activities, home schooling, lunch, cleaning, naptime, and chores.

So yesterday we started it again, Yay! And they LOVE Activities. Activities is where I take a basket and I have all these small folded up squares that have an activity(with picture) listed on it. Here are some examples, a song, follow the leader, ring around the rosy, art, or exercize. Then the children choose one out and we do it. We do about 6 of them and then move on to the next part of the schedule. They love it that Mommy plays too.

Somehow, it is easier to be a Mother, Wife, and Writer, when my Husband isn't here for part of each day. Enrique worked his first day yesterday. He didn't even get home until 8:00 pm. But I was happy to see him. And I felt more feminine. I wanted to rub his back and make him feel better.

When he is here (ALL THE TIME) it is like he is expecting me to do things when he wants it done. But I have my routine. It may be a lazy routine, or a different routine, but this is what makes me feel like everything is getting done. I do everything I want to do all day long, teaching and caring for the kids, house, and myself, and then before he comes home, I clean the house (quickly), make sure dinner is made, and put a little makeup on.

He comes home, the house is calm, it has been a tornado all day long, but all he sees is a clean or cleanish house, children calm, me pretty, and we talk about our day.

This facade is not possible when he is here. The house is more chaotic, more stressful, and never a break for anyone. And I have no reason to rush around at a certain time of day and clean.

But now, it is all coming back. I'm hoping until we get our future figured out, we can do our schedule. Go to the beach in the evenings and weekends, and enjoy the remainder of our time here in sunny tropical Puerto Vallarta. A great place to vacation by the way. See my ehow on fun things to do in Puerto Vallarta on a budget, because it really is a blast here!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Dream Act or My dream? They need it even more than we do.

The fan swirls around above me as I see the shadows on the ceiling. In November it is warm. I like it here in November, the weather is warm but cool enough to use a sheet to sleep. Warm enough for the low setting on the ceiling fan.

In this time in my life I find myself at a crossroads again. I have trouble sleeping. At this point, our financial situation has not gone as planned but we still have hope. I am DYING to go back to Portland. And Enrique and I have been struggling in our relationship. We have been arguing and talking about our relationship and about who we are and what we want. But it is clear we Both want to be together.

Those freakin Immigration laws….. We still have to wait to see what we are facing. Some days I feel nervous. But in general I have faith. Faith that everything will be ok. Faith has always worked out for us before.

Today we walked to the store. The truck needs some work done on the Transmission and we don’t have the money at the moment to fix it. Luckily we are about 10 minutes away from the mall and Wallmart. The streets are dusty with sand here. And the roads are bumpy. Here they have a cobblestone type of road. Some areas the stones are packed with sand, other areas the stones are firm with concrete. (this is a picture of our street where our house is)

When you go to Wallmart you see all the cruise ships across the way. It always surprises me that people go on a cruise and get off the ship to go to Wallmart.

June and Jimi were happy to get out today. Poor Jimi, he has been very moody and I think he is sick.
Today Enrique applied for a job and got offered the job. He told them it didn’t pay enough. It is installing doors and kitchens. This is the closest job they have to his trade, and I was upset. I didn’t understand why he didn’t take it. He said he didn’t take it because he thought I would say it didn’t pay enough.

Earlier in the year he would say he was going to go get a job and I would say… don’t do it, we need to finish the house…. But now the house is done and we have had it on the market 2 months.

Then no matter what I do, to express my opinions it is like I am turning a dial on him. He uses my opinions for a reason to do stuff and an excuse why he didn’t do something. I want him to show who he really is. Stop letting me dictate everything. And then blaming me later when he doesn't like how things turned out.

We won't be celebrating Thanksgiving this year again, but even so I am thankful. Thankful that everyone is basically well. We have a cozy nice house to live in. We have food in the cupboard, beautiful lively children. I still have interenet, thank god, we still have cable. And we live in a tropical paradise where we can go and hang out in the warm ocean waters when ever we want.

I just miss my family and my friends, and my city. And I hope we will be back soon.

Our DS-230 appt should be in January. But not sure.
Have you seen this website
they are organizing ideas to get in front of the new president so that certian issues that people vote for will be put at the top of the list. I voted for the dream act.
Enrique and I talked about it, and it really did bring me to tears. But even as hard as it is for us to be here, or have to be apart if I go back to the US before Enrique can. What is far sadder is the affects the immigration system has on people who were brought to the US when they were under the age of 16, grew up as an American and then graduate from school and have no where to go.
They can’t work, or get a drivers licenses. I said to Enrique, that we should vote for the Dream act on, because they need it even more than we do. And it is hard to sacrifice something so very core to us, but it is true, they need it EVEN more than we do.
Now pray for us please. Pray for a miracle that the immigration laws will be repealed, or updated in a way that we can come back. Back home, where everything I know is, where my son is, where my mother is, where I have lived my entire life, in Portland, Oregon.
God bless and thank you.

FINALLY The final update to bring you up to speed of my life in Mexico

  • In the end of January 2008 I went to visit Portland for 2 weeks, to do my taxes, visit family and friends and take care of a bunch of stuff. At the same time Enrique went back to his home-town by Morelia, Michoacan to take photos of his cousins wedding.

  • In the spring I had a falling out with my teenage son. But we ended up patching it together a little bit better. All via email and texting. In the spring we went on a day trip through Quimixto with my neighbor Rosa and I stepped on a Manta Ray when we went on a boat excursion.
  • End of April we went to visit my in-laws and I started developing high blood pressure, which makes me feel like an old lady.

When we came back to Puerto Vallarta, we finally got my Father-in-law to come too, as well as my Mother in law, and we did tons of fun stuff after we spent a few weeks just taking them to the dr. They were in pretty bad shape. My mother in law had foot surgery and misc. problems. And my Father in law blood sugar was crazy high, blood pressure was crazy high, had a fungus on his skin, some kind of blood infection. We got him doing way better. and then forced him to stay longer than he wanted and they left the evening of fathers day after we went to sea life park. Here is a picture of my parents in law and me, and here is another picture that day where it looks like a dolphin is smiling at June. Sad to say this was the last day we spent with his Dad having fun and talking. Until we got the call in September.
  • So while they were here I had some type of attack. The doctors wanted to say it was a panic attack. I think it was like a pre-heart attack. What happened was I stood up suddenly in frustration (because June pushed Jimi into the wall), I had a crushing chest pain, yelled "call 911"(which is irrelevant here), sat down, everyone stared at me, and didn't do anything, I laid down on the floor and fainted for a second, my whole body got cold with a cold sweat. Finally Enrique slowly drove me to the hospital and my blood pressure was high, and the EKG was slightly off but not alot. They thought I was just another American lady having a panic attack, while on vacation. After that, I continued to have uncontrollable blood pressure after my in-laws left.
  • In July my 16 year old Son came to visit and at first we were getting along great. But he made it clear that he felt it was a huge sacrifice to come see me. It was weird because when we moved here I thought how fabulous it would be to be 16, and be able to spend summers in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. But he didn't have any sense of adventure and only wanted to stay in his room on the computer or texting his friends back in Clackamas Oregon. He did invite a few friends to come but with the new passport requirement it didn't work out. The week before he left I had to have surgery. I had a kidney stone.

Here is the front of the house before

Front of the house after

  • Meanwhile since we moved in we have been remodeling but during these months when my In-laws were visiting and my son was visiting, we employed an Abanil to work on the house to get some stuff finished to get the house ready to sell. This is a brick work person. His name is Donalto and we paid him more or less $250 dollars per week. He does much more than brick work. Enrique worked side by side with him and resented me for being sick. Here are some before and after pictures. I designed everything and they would do what ever I asked (in regards to remodeling the house).
  • Here is the Kitchen before Here is the Kitchen After
        Here is the roof before converting to a terrace Here is the roof after it was converted to a terrace There are many more before and after photos but I'll leave it at that for now.
                    Finally there is the trip to Morelia when we got the call at on a Saturday night I believe it was August 30, 2008 10pm. I just had a stent removed from my surgery and we got the call that Conchis (that's my father in laws nickname) had a heart attack. The next morning we drove the 8rs there and that week was a terrible terrible week. I don't want to depress everyone so I'll leave it at that. And then the rest of the blog brings you up to date. No more Old blogs. Yeah!!!!

                  Tuesday, November 25, 2008

                  The blame that comes with Divorce - Originally written March 15, 2008

                  He didn’t see his mothers eyes, he didn’t know. When he left to his fathers house so excited about something special to do when they got together.

                  And she didn’t know when he acted up at home after childcare that it was really a compliment, that he felt more comfortable with her. In her child psychology research that is what they said, but it was hard to believe.

                  And time went on. Living together and weaving through life. Until she found out what else she didn’t know……her ex husband and family were saying things about her to her 5 year old son. And on to 6 years and 7 years and 8 years. And on.

                  One day when he was 12 years old on mothers day, he told her. He told her all the things they had said through the years.

                  And she started telling him back her side of the story. But it was too late. He didn’t believe her now.

                  So the high road didn’t pay off. But when will it? When will he forgive her? The lies that were embedded into his mind. Such as everything was her fault.

                  He shut the door in her face so many times. He shut her down so many times. She didn’t know what to think. Did he even love her?

                  When she asked him this, he said that she hurt him even more, and then he went to talk about it with the same people that told him it was all her fault.

                  She couldn’t win. Everything she did she couldn’t win. And she still has hopes, one day, he will see her value. He will see that she offers Love, intelligence, and creativity.

                  The day when he comes around and sees her for who she is, they will talk. And spend time, and have fun and enjoy life together.

                  And she prays for this and always has hope that it will come soon. That he will accept her love.

                  The science of relationships and love - Originally written End of Jan. 2008

                  Why can you live everyday the same and then all the sudden you get in a funk It's like you lose your shiny fun-side to the people who you spend the most time with.

                  Its weird, it doesn't matter where you live, your house is your house, your problems are your problems.

                  There is always laundry to do, if you run, if you leave, after awhile there will be laundry there.

                  I moved from Portland, OR, USA to Puerto Vallarta, Jal. Mexico. I still have 3 kids. One that I wish wanted to spend more time with me. I still have a husband I cherish. I still have that feeling like I want some time alone. I still have that feeling like I need more independence. But now I have a new thing.

                  I have a knowledge of what it is to live in a city where you don't know anyone and all you have is your close family.

                  And now I'm going back to Portland for 2 weeks. I'm going to be away from my husband for 2 weeks, and my little baby boy.

                  Because my husband can't travel to the US, he's not legal there. And I'm not gone yet and today I already miss him.

                  Why does it take these circumstances to bring the apreciation of things back to you?

                  Why do things lose their lackluster when there is nothing to break up the monotony?

                  Cold Portland or Tropical Puerto Vallarta you need those interruptions, from work, grocery shopping, laundry, dinner, feeding the children, everything, you need something to slap you accross the face, so you can REMEMBER:

                  THIS IS IT!
                  THIS IS FABULOUS!
                  CHERISH THIS MOMENT!

                  Today I had my little baby boy in the shower with me, he'll be 2 the end of May. And when he was clean I called my husband to come and get him, and when he was leaving, my baby wanted to give me a kiss bye bye 3 seperate times with his little lips puckered. When he was only leaving me for a few mintues.

                  I thought, in that moment, I have to remember this, I have to record this moment, etch it into my mind, because it will leave and I will forget.

                  There will always be more laundry and dishes, BUT THIS, THIS IS WHAT COUNTS!

                  The song The Scientist fromt he Wicker Park soundtrack, always makes me FEEL. If you like romantic stories with longing, you have to see the movie Wicker Park.

                  Got Culture - My trip to Morelia, Originally written Jan 2008

                  The Drive:

                  The drive is around 8 hours. We went the way that is cheaper, it takes about ½ hour more and has a lot more curves but saves around $50 dollars from the toll roads. The only catch is in the curves the kids get sick and cranky. As your driving through the tropical mountains of Jalisco you see areas that look similar to places in the US. In one area I always feel like I am in Bend Oregon or Northern California on the drive to Reno.

                  The Posadas:

                  When we got to El Alto de Aviles, Enrique's town, it was already time for the Posadas to start. Now if you aren't familiar with the Posadas this is something very special many people do in Mexico during the Christmas season. In fact what I experienced as their Christmas season was not at all similiar to what I am used to. It IS ABOUT celebrating, but it is not about gifts, other than the posadas.
                  It starts on the 16th of December. Every night for 9 days. Every evening when the church bells ring around 6pm, everyone gathers at the Church to participate. They start on the walk around the town. This walk represents when Joseph and Mary were going around looking for shelter. All the children and many parents gather and walk around stopping at each house that has an nativity scene. Maria leads everyone who participates around the town leading the singing. She sings loud and off key but it is utterly charming and heart warming. At each house someone goes into the house and then they sing songs answering back and forth. The group asks please let us in we have no where to go, etc. and the house rejects them, until at the end you are at the church. Then they give out gift bags that contain fruit and candy. All of the streets are decorated elaborately with streamers going from one side of the streets to the other side. It is quite amazing. The funny thing is that it always starts with like 10-25 people and ends with about 200 people. People from other towns come, which is sort of un fair but I guess a lot of people go to different town to get as many posadaas as they can.

                  The only problem I had while I was there was.. caring for the children:

                  There is one major problem that is there. Taking care of the children. You can't keep them clean. You can't keep them safe. There are hazards everywhere. When I said to Enrique I don't know how anyone could raise children in that environment he took offense because he said that he grew up there. I said well, if we lived here I would have areas where the animals stayed on their side, and there wasn't dangerous places a baby can go. I get pretty umm how do I say Pre Madonna ish over there because, there are so many hazards and things to look out for I go on strike. I'm like if I had my way, there would be gates so the children can't crawl out anytime they want into where all the goats are. The chickens and turkeys wouldn't be walking around pooping on everything. And The spiral staircase that goes up to a dangerous platform with no fence would either be gated off or there would be a gate at the top or even a different type of stairs.

                  So I guess my point is I get a little upset not having control of my children and what they are doing and experiencing. Now the children love this. They love getting dirty and don't mind having to change 3-4 times in one day. They love running around being wild. The one thing I do appreciate is at least their property is fenced off from the street.

                  I guess another pet peeve I have about being there is the bathroom. It is pretty nice since we fixed it up. However, you have to go outside to get to it. I am the kind of person that usually has to pee in the middle of the night. So navigating a dark concrete yard with obstacles, rats (I've heard) and a large dog that gets loose sometimes at night, is not fun.

                  Regardless of all these pet peeves I've just stated, Maria is my hero. She is not perfect. But she has a great sense of humor, she's raised one of the best set of children I have ever met. 2 girls and 5 boys most of which are fabulous, funny, and forgiving. Hmm that's a good set of f's. And if she can do it for you and you ask, she will. Her gift to you is caring for you.
                  So that was my trip to Morelia, what do you think?

                  Party like a Rockstar - Originally written Dec 2007

                  I used to want to be a rockstar. I wanted to be wild and crazy and unattached and creative and do what ever I wanted, when I wanted!

                  Then one day I realized that the reason I had wanted to be famous was only because I wanted to be loved.

                  One day with spirituality and time I discovered that I didn't want to be something just so I could "Show them". I realized all I really want to do is to live well, practice faith, good will, kindness, and creative visualization. Because in doing that anything that I want for my world will come to me.

                  Sometimes for just a split moment I still wish I could be a rockstar, but then I realize how wonderful my life is. And I find other outlets for my creativity.

                  Besides... in my days between marriages and the grief of my father dieing of cancer, I did party like a rockstar for almost 2 years.

                  And it was an empty life.

                  Sunday, November 23, 2008

                  Bickerland - Originally written Oct. 17, 2007 <-------

                  How did we get to bickerland?

                  Head pounding, I'm over the ear infection but the head is still pounding.

                  Driving (well me I'm riding), looking for the "Mano a Mano" (classified ads of PV). Where do they sell it?

                  Trying to find a song on the homemade cd's, getting sick of a lot of these.

                  I finally find one that we want - The Rain, by K-OS. We sing.

                  "Mommy, why are we going over here...?" Says my almost 5-year-old daughter.

                  I answer her and then... "June put your seat belt ON!" Why does she push so hard.

                  Baby cries, "Uh ohhhh", looks down.

                  "Oh you dropped your bottle?", I say and look around on the floor in the back for it.

                  We stop at a second OXXO (like 7-11) Enrique goes in this time..

                  He comes back and looks at me weird, hands me back the change, says with an irritated voice "It was ONLY tres pesos!"

                  As if I had compromised him by handing him 7.

                  So we head on our little trip out of the house, towards the Soriana (like Super Wallmart, or Albertson’s, or what not)

                  So far we have joked a little bit.

                  Then "The way I live" by baby boy da prince comes on. We start to sing it.. But a nearby car has the base up so loud that it starts rupturing my eardrums...

                  I turn down the song in our car to make sure it's not our base that is bothering me.

                  I say, " Can we figure out who has their base so high and stay away from them.."

                  This is evidently too much. "How am I supposed to do that?" Enrique says.

                  "God why do you have to snapp at me, my head hurts. Just thought if we could listen to where it was coming from we could stay back...”

                  He replies incredulous.."Listen to what you said.."

                  "I'm sorry if you had ear infections and a sinus infection you'd know why I can’t handle that.. it makes me nervous or something..."

                  We both get pissed off bicker a little bit more.

                  And we get better, and we each try to make a joke. And then we bicker again... till its time to go to sleep.

                  But HOW DID WE GET HERE?

                  To Bickerland?

                  That is what I need to creative visualize.

                  I need to visualize us happy, joking.

                  I am funny and witty and nothing bothers me. I am healthy and light.

                  Maybe we can get out of this place we are in...and go back to balancing our energies because we are so different.

                  Goodbye bickerland, hello happiness!

                  Friday, November 21, 2008

                  Back in the day when Melony visited, Wednesday

                  My very gorgeous and vivacious friend decided to come visit me starting Wednesday November 12 to Wednesday November 19, 2008. Boy did we have fun!

                  My husband did sort of FREAK OUT on me because I wanted to spend half of the time alone with Melony at the hotel, the other half with my family and her together. We had tons and tons of catching up to do. Back in Portland we used to go to lunch every week. We'd go to the local old-fashioned pizza parlor and let the kids run around every Tuesday and gossip, laugh, and catch up. Then I Mexico

                  She is the first and only friend that has been able to come visit me. I say "been able to" because it is a considerable expense, but she got a great all-inclusive deal at a resort for the price of somewhere around 100 dollars a night plus airfare. Here is how the week went:


                  Picked her up at the Airport. Her room was fantastic, directly on the beach, not just a view from a distance, you look down and you could see the beach below and hear the splashing of the waves very loud. So we put on our bathing suits and went to the pool and hung out and had a few drinks. Then we walked in the sand back to her room and stopped and chatted at one of the Palapa's. It was around 11pm when I got home, but we only picked her up at 4pm so it seemed short.


                  I woke up, did laundry, and chores around the house, tried to go to the Dr. with e and the Kids but the Dr. wasn't there yet so I got over to the hotel around 10:15 am. We had planned that she would attend a time-share presentation in order to get some tickets free for day trips. So I told her I'd go along for morale support.............. uh ohhhh................. They started serving us drinks in the morning. It's a long story but they tried to get out of giving us the gifts after she said she wasn't interested and by the time 12:15 pm came we were seriously buzzed and talked them into giving us the gifts anyway.

                  So we were running around from her room to the pool and talking to the vendors on the beach. Somewhere in the early evening my husband was calling me and he got a hold of us in her room. All I remember is that he was saying I had to leave now, and that he was outside waiting for me, and I said, "NO! Stop calling me, we have reservations for dinner at the Sushi place."

                  Anyway, since the kids were sick and went to the Doctor, I still don't understand why he was running around on the beach with them. I think he was jealous I was partying and he was with the kids. But at the time I thought, SO WHAT. I hadn't been able to spend time with my friends for over a year and a 1/2 (except for a short trip with my daughter last February). After our Yummmy yummy sushi and stir fry, I was so surprised it was so good, we were saw like 5 different sets of fireworks. Every night the Pirate ship does fireworks, and then also when people have weddings they do fireworks, so if you are on the beach at night, you get a show as good as most 4th of July's in the States.

                  Anyway, we had a blast running around all-day and drinking and I got home at 11pm to a furious husband, who wouldn't speak to me.

                  For some reason I wasn't really sick from all the drinking. But at the same time I was very tired and didn't want to drink, so I could feel good for the boat trip on Saturday. I invited Enrique to come to the Hotel with the kids and me and we could hang out all day. He was angry and refused. And even said he wouldn't go on the (now free) cruise on Saturday, and the Jungle trip on Monday. The kids played on the very large jungle gym, like what is standard now in parks in the US, but they don't have those here (thats a whole other story).... And then we spent time on the beach. Since the kids were sick, I didn't take them in the pool. Melony got the front of her hair done in those tiny braids. Enrique texted me and told me he was sorry and that he over reacted, so everything was ok again. In the evening we went back to my house and I showed her my cute little house. Then she borrowed my internet phone and ended up going back around 9:30pm. To her dismay, because she wanted to Party.

                  Saturday: (Note - I didn't get good pictures of the waterfall, because the batteries died on the camera!)

                  This day was amazing. We started the day cruise at 10am which included breakfast, lunch, snorkeling, beach adventure and drinks. They didn't start serving drinks till around 12pm but made up for it later.

                  When we stopped at the first beach we rode horses up the amazing waterfall. That was crazy. You walk up to the horse guy, he says here is your horse, you get on and the horse starts walking, who needs time to get to KNOW YOUR HORSE... RIGHT? And, of course... my horse was the wild one. And I was holding my daughter on the front of the saddle. At first when he walked he didn't want to keep up with Enrique and Melony and then after I nudged him a bit he didn't want to walk slowly. It scared the you-know-what out of me when he started to gallop up this path that was full of rocks and quite steep my foot fell out of the stir-up and I was scared my daughter and I would fall off. But finally I got control of him, got my foot back in.

                  I got the biggest jolt of adrenalin I've had in years. It sobered me up for the rest of the day. I kept drinking and never got drunk all day long.

                  At the falls you park your horses and then walk up a small trail where there are rustic restaurants and several views of the waterfall. Then you can get in the water and swim right up to it. Melony was already over by the waterfall and I was swimming across the deep part, and then.... there is this guy out there supposedly to help people... if the current gets too swift. Well the current was a little swift but the only problem I had was that the FREAKIN ROPE for his life saving device got wrapped around my FREAKIN NECK and I was treading water and trying to get it off at the same time. I swallowed a tiny bit of water and started coughing.. Other than that, no problem.

                  When we headed back down, I switched horses with my husband so I didn't have to tame that wild thing... and then Melony's horse decided to take a run. Unfortunately for my husband he was very confident on the horses and never got that adrenalin jolt, that both Melony and I got. Unfortunately, this resulted in him getting blubbering drunk, and even passing out on the drive back from the hotel to the house, a total of 5 minutes. It was bad, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

                  Sunday: Note: I have THE AWESOMEST video of us at Sr. Frogs, but at 58mb I can't get it to upload to this site, or Youtube. I'm going to keep trying and I'll post it in a later blog. The video is of Melony doing a tequila shot hanging upside down and then being spun around 2 times. It looks so Awesome.

                  This day I was feeling fine, I got up and did some running around, then headed over to Melony's hotel around 1pm or so. Went in the pool a bit with the kids. We really didn't intend to go in the pool since the kids had been sick, but once they just sort of jumped in...we did too, in our normal shorts and shirts, Melony with her 7 different bathing suits sort of raised an eyebrow.. but.."Whattayado?". Later on we went to "The Malecon" and it was ridiculously crowded, more than normal. We saw statue guy and the clown then finally ending up going to Sr. Frogs. Melony decided to be the first person to do this stunt to get the free shot of tequila. And I can't wait till I get it uploaded because you want to see this it is quite a sight


                  Husband still fussy, I was not feeling too well. Melony was still a little pifft that I made her leave Sr. Frogs after she made her new 15 minute friends with some ladies from Canada, and then I was ready to take them So that night on Monday she met some people at the hotel and she scheduled her own going out to the bars.... I stayed with her and had dinner with her and my daughter at the SUSHI place again. Then we helped her pick out her cutest outfit, and then got home about 10pm.

                  But hey as for the night before and the ladies from Canada... don't get in MY Face trying to act like I'M WRONG TO PROTECT HER, when you just met her... right?


                  The day started out TERRIBLY, E and I had a huge fight. (really bad one) But finally he realized he was being ridiculous and said I could go.

                  I got over there in the morning so we could do the morning water aerobics she was doing everyday. And believe it or not, she was out partying all night and STILL got up and did the workout.

                  We spent a quiet day just her and I and some drinks but not too much. We had another horseback ride planned, that she negotiated $25 for 2 horses, for 45 minutes. Great deal huh? So we did that see the pics

                  And then I got a call from my hubby saying he got a babysitter and wanted to go out with us. So we did. We went out.

                  Melony and I were both not planning to go out to the clubs, but he wanted to, so we did. I didn't even get a chance to dress up. It was good we went out though because I miss that side of E. He is really cute when we go dancing.

                  I just couldn't stand the music they had at first at the Hilo. It's a cool club, the dance floor lights up and they have these gigantic statues inside, like 75 feet tall.. but I'm not into the 70's and 80's music they were playing. Good thing was she loves that. I'm more into 90's and newer music when I go to the club. I love hip hop and rap, some rock, and raegaeton... We got everyone home around 1:30am


                  Time to wind down and take her to the airport. This week did so much, we never did do the jungle tour, but it's ok, I've already been up to where the movie "The Predator" was filmed. It really did go fast, but we did so much it was fantastic.

                  Now I'm still recovering and it's Friday.


                  Thursday, November 20, 2008

                  Creative Visualization and my Life

                  This Article was originally written in November 2007

                  Just over 10 years ago, I came out of my first marriage and developed a life philosophy based on creative >visualization and coincidences. Which in part came from readinig these 2 books.

                  I still use the creative visualization but I haven't experienced as many coincidences. The idea is that everyday there are a number of coincidences that you experience and if you follow the coincidences they will lead you to your most divine destiny.

                  Well, for some reason coincidences had dissappeared as I began my life with my 2nd husband Enrique.

                  We both only started this for fun.
                  Was I going in the wrong direction? Or did I just stop noticing them because I was content?

                  Since then we've had many wonderful experiences. We now have 2 children and live in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

                  The economy is booming here, and we are dabbling in real estate. Before I was with my husband I was totally in love with a man who only wanted sex from me. This lasted a year and 1/2. Though I put on a tough front I was devastated. During this time there were hundreds of coincidences that pointed my life towards him. But why.. when it clearly would never work.

                  Anyway, one of last times that I encountered that man, he tried to flirt with me and I told him I had come to a realization. The only reason I had become so obsessed with him before, is because I secretly knew it would never work. And I needed time to heal. This could be why so many coincidences pointed me towards him. I'll never know for sure.

                  Later when I was ready to really be serious and I relaxed my grasp on my desire for that man. I prayed to God to send me a man who would love me completely and be there for me. And within 3 weeks Enrique showed up. That is when the coincidences slowed down for the first several years. And then once we decided to move to Mexico 6/2006 I started noticing coincidences again. Even more-so once we came to Puerto Vallarta.

                  Now Enrique and I experience concidences all the time. One thing that comes to the top of my head is that we hear our song all the time. Dido's "Thank You", You might not think that is a big deal but then take into account that we are down here in Mexico. Way down South. I've heard it in grocery stores, on radio stations that play almost pure spanish music, and on a spanish cd in the style of Bachata that had a cover of Thank You. Maybe this means we are meant to be here in Puerto Vallarta.

                  We are really lucky. Just chilling in Puerto Vallarta. We go to the beach like I used to go to the park in Portland. We've spent 7 months together as a family on vacation. And the economy here is CRAZY BOOMING. Real Estate is going nuts.

                  If you are curious about the idea of coincidences playing a part in your life... take a look at this website " or go to amazon and look up those books. You can read exerpts from it to see if it is something that might work for you. For me I just made a request to the universe and did affirmations and 90% of the things I prayed for appeared.

                  Maybe these things can work for you. I'm going to try to re-connect by re reading the Power of flow. God Bless

                  Wednesday, November 19, 2008

                  The fast lane in Puerto Vallarta

                  Wow, I haven't blogged since the day my friend came last week. It has been an INSANE week. Been partying like I was on vacation. My friend came and she was dying to cut loose, but I was trying to balance home life, husband, family, and my wild and crazy (and flirty) friend since last Wednesday. She left today and I am going to miss her dearly, but I am glad to go back to normal peaceful life, and our normal goals, which don't include tequila shots and wild club hopping.

                  Ok. I'm going to see if I can download some of the crazy stuff we did this week, video and photos, and everything. Today I am just recovering from being out at the clubs lastnight. Did you know that here you can party at the club as long as you still have money. It goes ALL NIGHT, and the clubs here are just like the US but maybe even BETTER! Though I personally didn't stay out that late, some of the people at the Krystal hotel, that my friend met said they kept partying from 7pm until 10 am the next day. Wow. unbelievable.

                  But don't worry, my very latest night was 1:30 or something last night.

                  Most nights I was at home by 11:30 pm or way earlier, which bothered my friend a little because she wanted to PARTEE.

                  Anyway, let me see if I can get organized and upload and write and all that, maybe tomorrow.

                  Wednesday, November 12, 2008

                  What happened to the job you wonder?

                  Well, I am writing this now.. present day, November 2008, NOT 2007, I guess I left this out of my blog last year. There was a lot going on at the time.

                  The first day I went to work, A BIRD POOPED ON MY HEAD. I knew in that moment that it was not going to work out. But I did not turn around and leave.

                  What I liked about the job: Having a place to be my own person. Getting up in the morning and getting dressed up and looking nice. Talking to the Sales guys. And getting paid.

                  What I didn't like um getting my first check and being told I was being LAID OFF - 1 WEEK LATER.

                  But of course the reason I was laid off could have been for a variety of reasons, here I will make a list of possiblities of why I got laid off:
                  • The lady I was replacing was training me, but didn't know I was replacing her and started sabatoging me and my training
                  • I told the big boss/owner I didn't like how they were running the deals
                  • I told the girl who was training me "Dorota" a Polish girl. That I thought something wasn't quite right in the business and maybe they were scamming people.
                  • I was an illegal alien in Mexico at the time. So they would have had to adjust my status.
                  • When I interviewed I appeared subservient and smart, but when I worked there, I am not at all subservient, though I am smaart, I am very outspoken, and sometimes a little bit obnoxious... if you haven't already noticed.
                  • I read through their contract and told them it had to be re-written. I made a huge list of updates.
                  • I told them I wasn't comfortable lying to people and that Dorota is really good at it.
                  Well, do you know what... it turns out that is a scam. Belaire Vacation Club is a total scam. The head guy and brother are straight out of the Sopranos. The head guy appears to have had facial plastic surgery. And after several years they have taken peoples money and still not built anything. I'm glad I was only there 1 week, so that I don't get indicted somehow.. lol.
                  Anyway, there is a link attached to the blog below where I talk about getting the job. I knew from the moment the bird pooped on my head.. there was something wrong, and I was right. It's a year later, and they have barely started anything on the construction, while other resorts have gone from breaking ground to opening in 1/4 of the time.

                  Almost forgot where I am.. Oh yeah.. I'm in Mexico

                  This article was originally written November 2007,

                  We've been in Puerto Vallarta for about 5 1/2 months, Mexico 7 months. Puerto Vallarta is a very modern city compared to where my in laws live. My in-laws live on a ranch near Albaro Obregon, Michoacan around 8-9 hours from here, depending on traffic. Not what Americans picture as a ranch. But El Rancho is basically when people have their farm animals at their home. Doesn't matter what size of property you have, such as in the US, when you think of a Ranch, (atleast in my mind) it is a large property, fields, cows, and horses. But here it can be a small house where they have only a few livestock.

                  Here in Puerto Vallarta it is very modern so I don't think about it much while I am here. With all the modern convenciences that are here like:

                  -Pizza Hut and Dominos
                  -Hooters (2)
                  -Starbucks (3)
                  -Outback Steakhouse
                  -Office Depot
                  -Office Max
                  -Burger King (2 or 3)
                  -McDonalds (2 or 3)
                  -Mail box plus
                  -Carls Jr. (2)
                  -Subway (3 or more)
                  -Home Depot (in construction)

                  Well you get the point..

                  There are more. Anyway, with all of the modern American stores around sometimes I just lose the awareness that we are in Mexico.

                  Until - I see a chicken.

                  Which is a farely common sight, to see a chicken wandering around.

                  The other day I was pulling up to the VW dealership and there was just a chicken hanging out pretty close to the road. I thought.. oh yeah.. I'm in Mexico.

                  I got a Job in Mexico

                  This article was originally written on October 29, 2007

                  Yes folks. I went on my first real interview and I got the job.

                  It's not american dollars. but it's kinda close..

                  So... a really experienced neighbor friend of mine is the Manager of the reception desk at holiday inn and she makes only 5000 pesos per month...She's been doing this for 6 or more years and took college courses for this vocation.

                  I just went and got a job starting at 17,000 pesos per month. It's not american dollars, I used to make a little more than twice that much per month at my last job but this is Mexico and I feel blessed to find a job like this. Plus raises are in my future and I get my own office. The only perk I know about so far is that I am going to get tailor made suits to wear. And hopefully I can use the resort with my family, but who knows on that one.

                  Also haven't worked outside the home since 2004 so I feel very lucky.

                  The job is:
                  This is a legal verification officer at a brand new resort


                  ps. I don't have to speak spanish...Because I can speak it but it is broken spanish...

                  Ok so now I'm a circus freak? (Not for the Squeamish)

                  This article originally was written in November 2007,

                  Let me just start by putting up a picture of my lovely little daughter/monster and nephews/monster's. We went back to E's town for Halloween 2007. It does seem appropriate with the title of this article.

                  Mexican Doctor discovers deformity.. on me?

                  Torus palatinus: Ok, well... I'm down here in Puerto Vallarta. We've been here for 7 months. I'm learning all the different medical theories and practices that they have down here.

                  For instance, I'm sure you have heard of this new thing in the states where you can go to a Pharmacy such as Rite Aid or Walgreens and get an immediate appointment for around $50 dollars more or less. Down here there are these Pharmacias Similares everywhere, and you can get an appointment immediately for $30 pesos thats about $3.00 dollars folks. That is good. Bad part is one day I'm pretty sure that I saw the doctor park his Taxi Cab so he could come to his 2nd job, lol.

                  Observation: Mexican's believe that if you have a cold you cannot drink or eat anything cold or submerse yourself into anything cold. This is a very hard one for me because the coldest day we have had around here lately is a high of 93 and a low of 75. This one causes quite the argument around my house.

                  That brings us to todays topic... Before my eldest son (15) went back to Portland in the beginning of August we all went 24 ways to the wind swimming. We went to the ocean beach, water park, restaurant with a pool, Sea life park/water park, fancy resort pool, and wading in the kids pool at home. With all this swiming and then going in and out of A/C, I of course got a TERRIBLE EAR INFECTION. So I got referred to see a specialist which only costs $250. pesos, basically like $25. dollars.

                  So I'm at the Specialist. He puts a camera in my ear. On the camera you can see my ear canals are swollen, more so on my right ear. Plus there was alot of stuff in there. So he proceeds to CLEAN MY EAR. Yes CLEAN MY EAR. It was like getting a dentist cleaning but ... IN MY EAR! He scraped the sides of my ear canal, he squirted a liquid into my ear and VACUUMED IT OUT. OVER AND OVER AND OVER- AND SCRAPED AND VACUUMED. Ok enough with that..

                  Anyway, I had said my throat was sore so he did the customary stick a wood stick in my throat and say ahhhhh.. And then he said you probably already know this but you have a Torus Palatinus? A lump on the roof of your mouth.I'm like "What????" I felt it with my tongue... "The roof of everyone's mouth isn't round...?" I asked.

                  Then I felt back and the lump seems larger than I remember my mouth being...and I started to stress. Of course my first thought is always brain tumor... I'm crazy like that. Then I started to think about it. I've always sort of made fun of my Husband because his fingers curl. He cannot put his hands flat. It is some genetic thing in his family. I know one of my legs is 3/4 inches longer then the other one, but has never really caused me a problem. And...I'll come out and say it now: ONE OF MY BOOBS IS SLIGHTLY BIGGER THAN THE OTHER.

                  My little baby son has this thing by his left eye. It looks like a tear duct, but it isn't where the tear duct should be it is 1/8th inch away from the eye closer to the nose...Here we are a family of Circus freaks...

                  What a trip it is to find a huge lump inside my mouth that I never noticed and none of all the dentists in the States ever said a word. One last thing, I guess it's common, like 13% of all people have this.. but who knew.

                  Tuesday, November 11, 2008

                  You just can't expect your man to be everything for you.. I know.. but I still do...

                  For right this minute, forget getting up to speed on the last year. I just want to talk about right now. I'm listening to a rap song right now, Bandahood, "Da me lo que quieres dar, te necesito para respirar. "
                  That song stirs me up inside. "haremos el amor hasta llege la manana, y tu me lo das yo te lo doy. "
                  It's just, I want someone to love me like that! Listening to it makes me sad and mixed up to think about it. Why do I do that to myself?
                  For those of you who don't speak spanish the lyrics are more or less (anyone correct me if I am wrong), "Give me whatever you want to give me because I can't breath without you" Then later it says, " Lets make love until the morning comes, give it to me and I'll give it to you" The song keeps repeating that I can't breath without you. It just sounds really passionate in the song and in spanish. "Te necesito para respirar."
                  I am like that. I describe things like that specific and passionate. My husband gets all freaked out and like a deer in headlights when he is faced with expressing his feelings. That is so mean to say, but I guess I knew that when I met him, he was 21 and HOT! Now... even though I still think he is HOT and sweet... I ...I want a freakin passionate intelligent conversation.

                  This photo is in 2002 I think. We met in 12/31/98.

                  Truth is, you can't expect your man to be everything for you... I know this. but being isolated in Mexico, (isolated with my family? )A dream on one hand, but without friends and live interesting conversation.. It's hard.

                  Hey guess what? Tomorrow one of my very oldest friends is coming to Puerto Vallarta for a week. Yea!!!! This will be my first visitor. Her dad came in September but that is when we were in Morelia and Enrique's dad was dying. So I didnt' get to see him. He is like a combination of Chevy Chase and Tim Allen ... Anyway, she is staying at a resort and we have fun stuff planned.

                  This photo is in 2003.

                  Anyway, obervation today: My 6 year old girl has an attitude. I mean I know that she is spoiled. I was making pancakes and the first one did not come out quite right. I was trying to make a octupus or monster and when I flipped it, it fell apart. So I split it up and gave part to my 2 year old and the other part to June... "You want me to eat that?" OH my god!

                  This photo is from July 2007

                  So e (thats what I call Enrique my husband) just came home... I've included some pictures of him, for your entertainment, if you like that sort of thing. Shameless huh? He has gotten a little thicker in the last year, but not too bad. I just told him "I'm pimping you out baby" (referring to putting his sexy pictures on the internet)
                  Anyway, if anyone thinks that is true, you have NO idea what a Jealous biotch I am? But since I am in mexico.. I figured why not?

                  Monday, November 10, 2008

                  Getting up to speed on the blog

                  Well, I started this blog on myspace last year and then in the spring I became ill and pulled it. So that explains why it is a year off right now. I am trying to get all my old posts into this blog.

                  What I've noticed in doing so is that I am missing my Son's visit. He came to visit me from July 5th to August 5th 2007, and he had already grown a lot since April 10, 2007 which was the last time I had saw him, at that point.

                  I think perhaps I didn't blog about it because I was just so busy at the time. We went to the Zoo, Pirate Ship, the Sea Life Park, Cascades, and much more.

                  Oh yeah... I remember the day we went on the Pirate ship, I was really pissed off at my husband, maybe it was the all inclusive margaritas or what ever, but I was thinking things weren't going to work.

                  Well, that was a year and 3 months ago and we are still going strong, though to tell you the truth, when Enrique is stressed about dinero he is VERY CRANKY. I'll just leave it at that.
                  Stay tuned, soon, I will have everything to this point. Meanwhile here are some pictures from when my son came last year. So you don't miss out on the whole story.

                  Sunday, November 9, 2008

                  Why did we move to Mexico You Ask? and What I have learned so far.

                  This article was originally written on September 15, 2007

                  Recap... Last year (2006) around may or so we started talking about moving to Mexico. Around July we made our mind up for sure....We sold our house and left for Mexico 4/5/07. We've been here in Puerto Vallarta 3 months...

                  In reality we ALL KNOW that these kinds of decision are not black and white. They are not motivated by only one reason....I must say a hundred things fuled this decision. I'll list what I can think of right now.

                  1. My In laws never having met my children. or vs. versa...
                  2. Not being able to comfortably afford our 5 bed 3 ba. house we were buying.
                  3. Wanting to spend more time together as a family. Since Enrique was having to work 6 days a week to not even make enough to cover the bills... he was always too tired to do anything...
                  4. Wanting to shake things up.
                  5. Wanting some inspiration.
                  6. Wanting to see what our relationship is made of.
                  7. Wanting to travel.
                  8. Wanting Enrique to not feel illegal.
                  9. For Fun
                  10. a quest... to expand my theories on the meaning of life.
                  11. Adventure
                  12. Just why the heck not....
                  13. Tired of everyday feeling the same...
                  14. Putting my beliefs into practice. If I believe that anything is possible. Bring it on.
                  15. I wanted to have someone who could take the kids so Enrique and I could go on dates....
                  16. I sorta felt like an orphan anyway. With my mom in the hospital and seeing my brother only a few times a year. And, my dad having passed away in 99... No close cousins... Yes, I felt like an orphan.
                  17. I feel like Teal is old enough to handle all this and it will be REALLY cool for him to come visit me...
                  umm. Well you get the point...

                  Here are the things I've learned so far.

                  1. Being on vacation is a TON of work. It's just like real life.... lol and you HAVE TO make time to go to the beach, etc..... everything is still all there....laundry.. dishes... etc.

                  2. Being on family time all the time is actually more work than when Enrique worked all the time...Because there is no one to take the kids and we never go anywhere seperately. I don't have the kids on the same kind of schedule as before, where i would clean and cook at certain times of the day...

                  3. I don't have any personal time. And I miss having time alone during nap time etc....

                  4. One of the things I was looking for I found before I left.... When all my friends and family knew that we would be moving they wanted to spend time with me before I left... And those times were some of the best times I've had in years. Now I miss those times.... I kept having the excuse.. Well we are going to go do THIS or do THAT because I don't know how long it will be till we can see each other again.

                  If I didn't leave WOULD we have done those things...? Would it have been so important.. ? Who knows.. But it was a blast.....

                  5. Enrique and I still never spend any time on dates. We went out 1 time while Teal was here in July.

                  6. Enrique and I still disagree on the importance of puting time together alone as a priority in a family. He thinks we had kids so we should always be with our kids. I believe if you don't invest in keeping fun and passion in the mariage by going on dates etc. there won't be a marriage.

                  7. My mother needs me there. I DO have family. People actually Miss me...

                  8. I miss having friends TREMENDOUSLY. I miss the times partying and dancing... I miss having someone to tell when I don't feel happy. (which I am pretty secretive about this but sometimes... I'm sad and I need someone to talk to) Since My dad died I didnt' really have anyone to tell on a normal basis if I was feeling blah... Or sometimes.. I am just blah. and I try to seclude myelf when I am blah. but I miss having friends to talk to. Actually, I miss that when I WORKED with friends and I would see them everyday and then if you felt blah... they would just walk by and KNOW... So I guess that part is more about working outside the home....

                  9. I'm really attached to Enrique's siblings and cousins back in Portland.... The other day on webcam I was so so so so so so happy to see all of Enrique's family together.. It was for the purpose of Maria (my mother in law) to see them but I was very happy to see them too.

                  10. I JUST want to see some people I know....I never really even knew Josephina, Enrique's cousin that well but I was dying just to see her face in El Alto - Enrique's town... because I had seen her in Portland before and ...It felt like I sorta knew her... Just grasping for someone that I knew.

                  11. I feel like I don't want to go back to the US permanently until Enrique and I can FREELY fly back and forth. With his parents getting older and I care for them SOO much. That I don't want to hear on the phone that they are not doing well and not be able to visit them. Someday that will happen. No one is immortal.

                  12. I can adjust to just about any living situation, but as I already knew.. I HAVE TO HAVE MY OWN SPACE....

                  13. I thought Mexico would be soo differnet but here at night when we are just chilling in the house the only thing that is different is there isn't wall to wall carpeting in the bedroom, and it is hot all the time.... Other than that... we have or can find just about everything we want...

                  14. How can we go back to not living in warm weather again.... and not living by the beach.... but I do miss the pine trees. absence of Mosquito's. using a blanket when I sleep. And well maintained parks... sane drivers... probably more, but that is all for now.

                  Saturday, November 8, 2008

                  The haunting of the fling and the trip to Tia Maria's

                  This article was originally written on August 26, 2007

                  Last night I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that I showed up somewhere and it was supposed to be that Miguel my ex-boyfriend was there and he was dressed in a tuxedo and he didn’t really look like Miguel, his hair was strait and long and kind of like when we first met but his skin was really clear and he looked younger. He approached me and Enrique was there with me. He had a box for a ring in his hand and he started to ask me to marry him. I was looking at him incredulous and I stopped him and said… “You can’t ask me to marry you because I am already married to Enrique.” It was sort of matter of fact. He seemed sort of upset but was sort of like he figured it was that way or something. I remember thinking would it have been more kind to let him go through the whole thing and said no…?

                  I just don’t know why he keeps showing up in my dreams. Or my thoughts even. It’s been 10 years. Isn’t it weird. 10 years ago we saw each other for 3 weeks officially. Then I impulsively broke up with him for a stupid reason and spent the next 3 years regretting it. During 1 ½ of those years we were on again off again sleeping together. I moved out of those apartments where I kept seeing him all the time September of 1998. I continued being obsessed with him for around 1 more year. Even though I was seeing Enrique. It truly was unrequited love. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it is when you love someone who doesn’t love you back.

                  After Enrique and I got married 3/2001 I never really talked to Miguel again…. I saw him one day when I was driving down 96th street, he was standing in front of some house. Then I thought I saw him another time in front of a different house mowing a lawn one day. That would have been in the year 2004 or 2005. Then just a few days before we moved to Mexico 4/2007 I saw him at IHOP. I was tripping out. I looked terrible…. He didn’t look too good either, but when he smiled and talked, the old feelings came to the surface a little bit. I said "Hi" to him and he came over after a bit to say hello, he’s very personable….
                  I introduced him to my Sister in law and 2 smallest children and he blurted out something like… “I thought you couldn’t have kids…?”

                  Then I blurted out…”Why do you ALWAYS say that, it’s called an IUD Birth control..” Then we continued to talk as if that didn’t happen. We chatted some happy small talk. I was dying to talk to him more, but I insulted his brother….on accident. I said something like..”So I heard JoAnne put Sergio in Jail.”
                  He was like "Yeah, can you believe that bitch. She is crazy!" He was speaking as if it was incredulous…
                  I thought …as if Sergio would never do anything wrong. I said, “Well they are both complete drug addicts why not.!” Then coincidentally 1 minute later, he had to take a phone call and said he would be right back. And then I was dying to talk to him more and was sort of waiting, and June, my daughter said she had to go to the bathroom. So I took her to the bathroom and when I came back he was gone.
                  I asked Patricia, my Sister-in-law if he said anything when he left…. And she was like … "Nope"

                  I was disappointed and she was very surprised because by looking at him and comparing him by looks she said that I hit the jackpot with her brother. I told her some of the terrible things that happened and told her I agreed. Miguel and I would have never worked out anyway, not with the things that happened between us. And his fears.

                  Enrique and I are really doing good. Its just hard sometimes, in any relationship I think it is hard but with moving down here and everything I think ultimately it can bring us closer. We both want it to work. It’s just hard.

                  As far as being here in Morelia, today was a good day. I didn’t expect it to be a good day. We went for a visit to his great aunts house ½ hour away and I expected to feel out of sorts all day long. This started to make me sad and even as we first got there I felt weird. But then I did my thing and took photos and no one seemed to care except to be a bit irritated. Then later it just turned sort of fun and lighthearted and we enjoyed ourselves.

                  Enriques cousin works at nights and hadn't slept. So she slept on a mat while we were visiting So we took a little video pretending she was passed out drunk. Here is a picture of what it looked like, notice the empty beer cans.

                  When we came back I was still feeling pretty good. I think my ear infections are gone and that must be why I feel better.
                  We’ve been talking about how after we sell this house we have now in Puerto Vallarta that we can build our house here. A little house that is for visits here. I think it is a good idea.

                  Friday, November 7, 2008

                  A Mexican Tim Curry and wife want my hubby?

                  This article was originally written on August 25, 2007

                  Living in Mexico

                  Here we are visiting my in-laws again. The night before we came we were invited to have a beer with some neighbors that live 4 houses up the street from us. The lady’s name is Judy, a very American name but she only speaks a little English. She is very pretty. I didn’t even realize she had a husband but there we were sitting at the table with her husband who looks like a Mexican Tim Curry. He also has that sort of gayness about him that Tim Curry had in Rocky Horror picture show. He made some gay jokes and I’ve heard a lot of Mexican boys are married and then secretly gay.

                  Funny thing was … I sort of got the feeling that both the husband and the wife were flirting with Enrique.

                  Weird thing was… and I didn’t even know how to receive this, Enrique wasn’t buying. Normally he cannot ignore the attentions of a woman. I started to write unless they are old, and then back spaced.. no that doesn’t matter. Started to write unless they are heavy, no… that doesn’t matter either. I’m not sure there is any reason Enrique might ignore a woman checking him out. But this night he did. Once we left and I started to think about it… this started to make me nervous. Because normally the only time a man (like Enrique) would ignore a woman’s flirtations is because he has already been involved with them and the curiosity is over. But other than an occasional hi… He would never have had the opportunity to mess around with her. I don’t think.

                  Great now I am going to be paranoid about it. I swear our problem right now is that we never have any time apart. We never have time to miss each other. We are sort of sick of each other I think. 5 months together nonstop 24/7….Except a few days here or there when I would leave to go shopping or something.

                  Anyway, with all the controversy we have had in the past 5 months he said that he was ignoring it because he is trying to be responsible and show me how much he loves me. This is something that I do instinctively when I love someone.. For him he is just learning to ignore womens attention since we met on 12/31/1998. I think he knows that I am seriously at the end of my patience of him looking at women. I mean I am starting to question our true compatibility. We are so good together sexually and as parents. But as friends it is an on and off thing. Basically he thinks I am a bitch and I think he lacks courage to be assertive. We are truly opposites. I think that pretty much spells it out. But they say opposites attract.

                  We gracefully exited the neighbors house and I am wondering if we will ever go over and hang with them again. I really need some friends here in Mexico but this lady just didn’t seem that interested in talking to ME. She kept asking Enrique if he would do a lap dance or a table dance. After we left I was thinking she must be really horny, since her husband is obviously gay. I think also she may have been a bit drunk because she was on a 10 day vacation where they were not going anywhere. I guess time will tell.

                  There are also some other neighbors on the other side. They didn’t’ seem as partyish as this couple but they seem kind of and nice. So we will see.

                  That night the remains of Hurricane Dean made it to the West Coast and there was rain, and more rain. The street was filled to the top of the curb with water. Some water was coming in the house through the bottom of the back door. We were leaving the next morning to go to Morelia to visit my in-laws so we put some bags with Sand in them because we didn’t want to come home to a house fully of damaged furniture and standing water.

                  Here we are in Michoacan again and we’ve been here for 2 nights now. I miss my house. And, I miss the heat. It is very very hot and humid in Puerto Vallarta at this time of year. But here it is quite cool. It rains quite a bit here but it also gets cold.

                  4 months of observations about Mexico

                  This article was originally written on July 30, 2007

                  We closed on the sale of our house in Portland, Oregon closing March 30, 2007. After a few days at my sister-in -l aws house we headed for Central Mexico on April 5th, 2007. It has been 4 months in total. We have seen a few different locations on the beach. We have seen some in-land cities. Zacatecas was kinda neat. Agua calientes was modern. Morelia seemed dirty and industrial on the big outside circle. Outside Morelia the small towns didn't have much to offer except a REALLY authentic Mexican experience.

                  After a little bit of searching around we decided to check out the beach experience. We checked out Ixtapa and Zinajuateneo Guererro. It didn't charm us. And we ended up here in Puerto Vallarta. I guess because of a lot of reasons.

                  Here is the house we bought in Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco. We don't own it yet but we are allowed to live in it until the transaction closes, so that will save the $500/mo rent we are being over - charged. We bought it for $450,000 pesos or more or less $43k dollars. It is quite the shock going from a 5100 square foot lot, with a 5 bed 3 ba house and a double garage, to a 1000 square foot lot with 2 bed, 1 ba. but Life is about adventure and compromise. So here we are.

                  1. It is very American here. It has all the modern conveniences I am used to. As well as I can find all the grocery products I want... When we are home at night chilling there is no difference except that it is very warm. In Portland it is only warm sometimes.

                  2. Before we moved I did a lot of research on Mexico on different websites including and I found out that real estate market is doing well in certain cities in Mexico, one of which was Puerto Vallarta. Since we only have limited funds from the sale of our home I wanted live without working and invest what we can. Essentially we are planning to flip houses. If possible.

                  So we ended up here and we found a fixer upper house. We are now about to get laminate floor installed and then build a Master bedroom upstairs. Also we are installing all new Kitchen cabinets and granite counter tops in the kitchen. Additionally, we are going to finished the garage and build a patio and service patio (or a outside laundry room) upstairs.

                  Things that are different here....

                  • Well, to start there are very few obese people. I weigh more or less 170, size 13-14 and I have to go to a special store to find clothes.
                  • Everywhere you go there are prepared fresh fruits, vegetable and juices for sale..
                  • In some neighborhoods every house has a business in their garage or living room.
                  • Most businesses are open air
                  • Garbage service is free and everyday
                  • There is restaurant service on the beach in lots of places, we have dinner on the beach often
                  • You can get everything delivered to your home.
                  • People drive up and down your street with loudspeakers selling stuff all throughout the day
                  • Women who have bulges here don't try to hide it
                  • Taxis are inexpensive
                  • Regular groceries are in-expensive
                  • Utilities are inexpensive (here in Puerto Vallarta is more expensive than some other rural locations but compared to the US still much cheaper)
                  • Job discrimination - an employer can say, 18-25 year old woman, no children and single.
                  • You don’t have to tip at most restaurants (small family restaurants) but you tip for people in the parking lot directing traffic. And you tip for the baggers at the grocery store.
                  • Your drivers license is like this… Police “can I see your drivers license please?” you hand them some money… if it is enough money they say, have a nice day. If it isn’t enough they say, “that doesn’t look like you.”

                  That’s all for now…

                  Thursday, November 6, 2008

                  Settling down and thankful for faith and love

                  This article was originally written on May 28, 2007 12:43am

                  I just finished watching the movie Invisible and it inspired me to write. The trees in the movie reminded me of Oregon. I felt a surge of longing for Oregon. It’s just that when we are there it is very difficult to enjoy the weather because it is so cold and rainy. As well as Enrique is working all the time. Right now we have been looking at a bunch of houses. Today we only looked at one. But we are getting to know the areas. The kids seem happier. Enrique and I seem happier. I kept telling Enrique that when we get a normal house type setting we will be happier. I think he didn’t believe me. Today we went to the public access beach. It is located right in between two hotels or resorts. The sand is really beautiful. Actually this part I think is the prettiest part of the beach I’ve seen. There is pure sand without large pebbles. Our apartment is actually only about 5 minutes away from the public access. And, today some guy that Enrique was talking to said that there is a house close to here for sale in our price range.

                  At the beach we were only there for about ½ hour and then I think what looked like perhaps a baby jelly fish landed on Jimi’s leg. And then also I saw some bees. After the ½ hour Jimi started to cry terribly. So we had to go. And Enrique was being quite irritated. He recognized that Jimi was hurt before I did, but I tried to calm him down. Jimi was crying and crying and I said please go get me a bottle of water and the towel and I will try to clean him up and Enrique was sort of accusing in a way. He said "No I think we should go!" And I said can you bring me that so that I can get him ready to go.

                  Also Enrique has been a bit weird in the the fact that I need help calling people. It’s like pulling teeth all the time to get him to help do stuff. I don’t really understand why? Years ago it used to be because he thought I was always bossing him around so any time I asked anything he would ignore me.

                  Moments ago I Looked down at my large breasts and realized that they are sagging a lot. The magic number must be the 3rd child or perhaps it is the age 36 but now they just aren’t perky. Even just 1 ½ years ago 2 people told me how perky my breasts were. Not any more.

                  Anyway, back to how I am feeling. I feel a little home sick for Oregon but I want to bond closer to my family.

                  A few days ago Enrique called his mom to say hi and ask how they are doing. One of our dreams was to have them come to the beach with us. He was going to invite them or feel out the situation. Somehow his mom mentioned something about what happened with him the night before we came to Puerto Vallarta. Evidently the tables are now turned. When we left from there she was very sympathetic with me, I had told her everything that had happened and she said she was sorry that happened to me.

                  Then somehow the gossip had come around and SHE NOW BELIEVES the gossip. Enrique was very upset that he couldn’t change her mind. She now believes that I had somehow over powered Enrique, which is impossible, and threw him on the ground and kicked him and left him there to die. This is very strange to me since when I came to her door he was about 1-2 minutes behind me. There is gossip all over the little town. Enrique takes full responsibility for it but still he feels bad his mom doesn't believe him.

                  I told him that situation is like a voice mail from god. “Hi you guys, this is god. Um Enrique I know you were thinking at some point it would be better to live in your small town, but hey, I think you made a good decision. That is a good place for you to visit but not to live all the time. Just wanted to tell you that. Thanks for your gratitude, give me a call sometime. “

                  Enrique sort of smiled. It was weird, awhile ago I would say.... before I was pregnant with Jimi. We were really happy. But the pregnancy was hard on me, and therefore hard on Enrique. Then he was born and he is wonderful, but as far as romance, we just don’t have time for it. Then we made the decision to sell the house and all that and well, we just haven’t been that close. The worst part is ever since this trip started we have gotten along worse than any time in our entire relationship. The other day we actually had a point in the car where I was telling him he doesn’t have any balls and he was telling me what a bitch I am and we both asked the other "Why do you want to be with me?"

                  But somehow that moment passed. And we were like, "OK, What do you want to eat?"

                  Then we’ve gotten better since then.

                  We have this 3 bed 2 bath apartment with a sorta big kitchen. We’ve been buying some stuff and looking around. We’ve been making plans. Enrique wants to buy a nicer house and fix it up.

                  When I watched that movie "Invisible" I started to miss my Son a lot. I have a 15 year old son still in Oregon, and living with only his father for the first time in his life. It has been hard getting along with him too, but I hope that we get along better when he comes to visit. Also I do need to call my mom. I haven’t spoken to her for awhile.

                  Here in Puerto Vallarta it is so humid that you have to shower 2-3 times per day just to wash off the sweat. At night we aren’t having much problems sleeping because the ceiling fans seem to keep us cool. I don’t really care much for A/C.

                  Well I’d better go.

                  PS Thank you god for everything wonderful in our lives. The beautiful sunset, the feel of a clean floor on our feet. The soft kiss of the air from the fan. Making love and reconnecting to my husband. The first steps and walks with my baby. Singing you are my sunshine to my little girl before her bedtime. Holding my childrens small hands in mine. Rubbing the shoulders of my husband. The nice brown tan I have. Our new flat screen TV. And faith and love.